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This Land is Your Land - Chapter Thirty-Nine

Wed, 16 Jul 2008 03:20:00 GMT

Title: This Land is Your Land - Chapter Thirty-Nine
Authors: lolitaray (Ennis) and planetgal471 (Jack)
Rating: NC-17 on/off through the fic
Disclaimer: Brokeback Mountain is the creation of Annie Proulx, and no profit is being made off of the sharing of this work. We do this for enjoyment only.
Summary: Ennis is a high-school drop-out giving it a final go. Jack is an enigmatic history teacher. This is a modern-day AU!AU. In this story, POVs are intermingled.
Warnings: The story within contains adult themes, including but not limited to: explicit m/m sex, teacher/student relationships involving the high school level, cursing, and descriptions of violence, including sexual violence. This has been written for fun, but we understand that not everyone may enjoy it.
Authors' Notes: Feedback is so appreciated. All editing and beta-work done by planetgal471 (please notify me of mistakes, I'll fix them!) This is the final chapter of this story.

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This Land is Your Land: Chapter Thirty-Nine

Finding the apartment was a piece of cake, and Ennis let himself in without so much as sighting another person. After a shower, he borrowed some of Jack's clothes, slightly shaken by how easily he had fallen back into the pattern.

Making a quick phone call to K.E., Ennis just let his brother know that he was safe, and maybe staying with Jack a day or so until he figured out what he was doing. As to that, Ennis wasn't quite sure yet. He'd figure it out soon enough. K.E. was cautious on the phone as to what he said, and Ennis was conscious of a nagging pain, trying to define the distance between them. After making a sandwich, he succumbed to exhaustion, flaking out on Jack's sofa and falling into a contented, heavy sleep.

* * * *

When Jack left his office to photocopy his reports, he didn't get more than two steps from the door before he felt the weight of eyes and heard a girlish giggle. He blinked slowly, afraid he knew what he was in for. Sometimes, normally reasonable adult women could turn into giggling ten-year olds when they saw someone in love, and, for some strange reason, Jack knew from experience that two men in love set them off even faster. These gals had been trying to hook him up for a while, but now they were coming to understand the futility of their actions.

"Jack," Karen exclaimed in a stage whisper. "Who was that?"

"Huh? Who?"

"Jack," Brie giggled.

Jack laughed. "A friend, like a said."

"Uh, huh." Karen clearly didn't believe him. "A little young for you, isn't he?"

Jack walked towards the copier and made his copies, weighing his response. If, by any distant possibility he and Ennis ever made a real go at this thing, it was a question he would probably hear again.

"What?" Jack turned to Karen, "You know the peak of a man's sex drive is, what, twenty? I need someone who can keep up with me." Jack winked at her.

"Oh God," Karen groaned.

Brie giggled at the dirty joke.

"I'll tell you more about my relationship with Ennis when I know more. We're in a... we have stuff to straighten out."

"Fair enough."

"See you in the meeting."

"Yup."

* * * *

Jack rubbed his weary eyes one last time before swinging open the unlocked door of his apartment. Immediately he was greeted by the adorable sound of Ennis's heavy breathing. Jack wandered over and found Ennis sleeping at an odd angle on the couch, one arm hanging off. He wanted to lean down and kiss Ennis but, despite their lip-lock earlier, it didn't seem appropriate any more. Jack didn't know why Ennis was here, not really. He hadn't had an answer to give his co-workers, after all.

"Hey, cowboy. You want some dinner," Jack nearly whispered, an intimate sound in the hushed silence of the apartment.

Ennis came slowly back to awareness, still trapped in a thick fog of sleep. Seemed it was the first proper rest he'd gotten in days. Yawning, he stretched, Jack's face slowly coming into focus.

"Ye-ah." Ennis yawned again, sitting up and sleepily smiling at Jack. "Got a sandwich earlier and had a shower. The place is real nice. How was the rest of the day?" Flushing, Ennis shook his head at himself. He sounded like some housewife from the sixties.

"Nosy co-workers, boring meeting, you know," Jack smiled. "Feel better?" Jack stood to give Ennis space.

Ennis reached up, grabbing Jack's hand to give him leverage to stand, still sleepy. "Um. Now I do."

And he more than did, moving easily into Jack's personal space, hands pulling Jack's shirt free and moving inside to find bare, warm skin. Ennis nuzzled into Jack's neck, breathing in the smell that he had been missing. A smell of home. "Missed this," Ennis breathed into Jack's ear, placing a gentle kiss below the delicate lobe. "Missed you so damn much."

"Oh Jesus," Jack groaned, head spinning with Ennis's attention. "Ennis, Ennis," Jack struggled with his own desires to free himself from Ennis's grip. "I just have got to know what's going on here. You know I set my terms..."

"I know, I know..." Taking a deep breath, Ennis managed to rock back on his heels, placing a small amount of distance between them. "I'm not interested in anyone else. And I'm not going to cheat on you, Jack. I don't know what I am, still." Sighing now, Ennis rubbed his forehead. "I don't think I'm gay. I mean, how can I be? Don't want to think of any other man but you. And the thought of you being with anyone..." Ennis's eyes darkened and he had to turn his head. "I got to figure out what to do."

"You got to figure out what to do?" Jack echoed back Ennis's simple words, but reflected now with a sharp edge. He didn't know why he should be surprised; Ennis was so young, had so much life ahead of him and so much yet to learn. He hadn't been any different. But then, he hadn't been in love, either. Maybe it was presumptuous of him, but he somehow liked to think that if he'd been nineteen and in love, he would have known it, would have done what he could to hold on to it, even if it came from an unexpected quarter, bit him in the ass like love sometimes could.

He hadn't noticed when he'd done it, but he did notice that he was standing a good foot and a half further away from Ennis. Jack rested his hands on his hips defensively. He felt his jaw tighten then twitch, a horse at the bit but still in the stall.

"Ennis," Jack's voice was gentle. "Why did you come here?" Maybe he ought to have given Ennis more time, more space, but fall was failing, moving to winter. It was the season to make ready, to store away and settle your affairs on some primordial level, and Jack's patience with this teasing-- if that's what it turned out to be-- was as short-lived as the auric hues lining the streets outside.

Hell, Jack had always preferred evergreens anyway. He shifted his weight, anticipating the answer.

Ennis stilled as the soothing cadence of Jack's voice gentled down the initial response that was on his lips at Jack's first remark. Hell yes he had to figure out what to do, not being someone able to make up his mind in the flash of moment.

But this next question, now that was something different altogether, something that was as easy and as clear for Ennis to answer as the way he took his coffee.

"For you," Ennis answered simply as he looked across into Jack's deep blue eyes. "I came here for you, of course."

"For--" Jack's voice cracked, his heart thudding in his chest as adrenaline made his ears ring. That just wasn't good enough. He knew what Ennis wanted, or had wanted anyway. But he didn't have a clue how to ask this question.

No, that wasn't true. Asking was as easy as moving your lips and making noises. He was afraid of the answer. He didn't want to ask. It would have been so fucking easy to just accept that, to call it sweet and use it as an excuse to get what his body wanted: Ennis in his bed. But he hadn't moved all this way to become a once-a-year road-trip fuck. He couldn't change that now.

"For how long?"

Ennis felt his heart rate speeding up, faster, faster at the sound of Jack's deep, throaty words until it was beating so hard Ennis was finding it hard to think over the kick-shot of adrenaline served up.

For how long?

Well, that was one query that was hard to answer. All Ennis was aware of was the pulse of his blood and his heart, and of course now his dick had decided to join the party, no doubt due to the way Jack was unconsciously resting those large hands upon his jutted out hips, chin up and awaiting Ennis's response, that full lower lip pouting out without Jack even being aware of it but Ennis could see it, yes, he could see it full well and it was getting harder and harder to concentrate with his Jack standing a few feet away when Ennis had driven all the fucking way from Riverton to touch and feel and know his man again, and these thoughts were driving Ennis crazy because it was obvious that Jack was waiting for Ennis to hurry up and answer.

Taking one step closer, Ennis moved cautiously towards Jack, in case his man backed up, all the while watching his face. Figuring he'd better speak first, Ennis cleared his throat. "As long as we can ride it, I guess. I mean--" Ennis gestured helplessly toward Jack, "I'm here, aren't I?"

Jack still didn't understand-- or didn't want to believe-- whatever it was Ennis was saying. He was tired of fighting, though, tired of not getting his point across. He felt his chest deflate. He rubbed his forehead with a hand and took a couple cautious steps around Ennis before dropping onto the still-warm couch.

"How long are you here? K.E. must be expecting you back home... when?"

Ennis looked incredulously at Jack. "I can't make myself any clearer," he finally said. "And I don't know how long I'm here for. I'm here, aren't I?"

Jack's head sagged back into the soft couch cushioning. Ennis wasn't making much sense to him. He needed to hear it straight, but the best Ennis could give him was curvy lines and he was tired after a day's work and frustrated to boot.

He inhaled slowly and squinted at the ceiling-- some kind of textured paint. Who the hell did that these days? His stomach growled, bringing him back to the earth.

"Maybe we shouldn't be talking on an empty stomach." Jack punched the arm rest. "Dinner?" He looked up at Ennis. "Maybe out? I don't have much here." He never had had much anywhere, had he? In Riverton he was lucky to keep a jar of fucking peanut butter handy. Jack held his breath, sure Ennis wouldn't want to. It hadn't been possible in Riverton, and it was probably too much to ask, too soon.

"Out?" Ennis looked dubiously at Jack and then out of the window. "I guess--you need to change?" It wasn't like anyone would pay attention to them anyway, he reasoned, not in a big town like this. And it wasn't likely that Jack would have any food, knowing the man as well as he did by now. He was hungry, too. Shooting a glance at Jack, Ennis couldn't help but give a small smile at the lanky sprawl of Jack, legs going on forever. "Ain't you going to cook me up a three course dinner?" Ennis heard himself saying, longing for Jack's smile and responding laugh.

"I think you are the one who might need to change." Jack plucked humorlessly at Ennis's-- no, his own-- sweat pants, ignoring Ennis's kidding around. He wasn't in the mood just now, even though he knew Ennis was trying to lighten it.

"I was going to." Ennis stepped back now a pace, frowning. He'd just about had enough of this. "I've driven all the fucking way from Riverton, took me ten fucking hours and you don't even seem glad to see me." Turning his back to Jack, Ennis scowled out of the window, wishing he knew what he was doing that seemed to be making Jack so angry. "What is your goddamned problem?" he muttered underneath his breath but loud enough that Jack could clearly hear it.

"Jesus," Jack exhaled on a breath filled with weariness. He continued quietly, as if he was afraid for Ennis to hear him. "What did you call that back at the office? Not glad to see you?" Jack shook his head. "Honestly, I'm fucking scared to see you." Jack rose from the chair to fight chest to chest like a man. "You think you can come in here and turn my life all upside down and then leave whenever you get a little nervous, huh? Make me your side-trip bitch? Drive down every couple weeks for a fuck? Is that what this is going to turn into? Jesus Christ." Jack turned around, trying to rein in his temper. "And one day you will find yourself some little gal who'll cover for you real well, and then what, huh?" He spun slowly. "Where do I even fit in with you, Ennis? How can I be happy that you're here when I don't know why you're here?"

"I said I'm sorry about Alma, alright?" Ennis shook his head in frustration, feeling the sting of tears. "And I done told you it's over with her, and I don't want anyone on the side, I just want you." Ennis felt himself shaking, stomach doubling over inside of him, and had to bend lest he retch. "Just want you," he muttered, fists clenched, the pale cream of the carpet a hazy blur through his tears.

"Oh my God." Jack strode to Ennis, pulled him tight in a hug, wrapped him up. Jack felt himself growing hard and was ashamed while he held Ennis, so in pain. Their clutch was awkward and tight, folded up and protective. Jack held as hard as he could, not knowing what else to do. Finally, he found some words, whispered them into Ennis's angelic curls.

"Ennis, Ennis, I'm sorry. I didn't-- I didn't think that's why-- I didn't know that's what you meant by being here. I didn't understand, you see? I didn't understand." Jack's hushed voice trailed off, his eyes wet, his erection unflagging. "I love you. You hear me? That's never changed." His voice was barely a whisper as he said it, and he felt his arms shake with the weight of Ennis.

"Jesus, Jack." Ennis hung in the darkness with eyes shut, the solid weight of Jack's support unfailing as he clenched fists of cotton, hands locked in the support of Jack's back. It all seemed to give way as he heard Jack's words and Ennis opened his eyes, looked at Jack's face, the tears blurring the brightness of those blue eyes looking so tender into his face. "Fucking love you so damn much," Ennis found himself saying, his voice a hoarse whisper. "You know I do."

Jack slipped to the carpet. He felt bruised and battered, burned, but also cool relief, like bathing in water in the sun. They clutched each other for a good while. Jack didn't know where to go next, what to say. He felt the ball was in his court and now that he'd gotten what he'd always wanted, he was scared to death. Maybe Ennis was scared, too, of the 'what next.'

Jack's stomach once again thought it had the solution, rumbling in the silence.

"So?" Jack's voice felt unused and harsh.

"So." Ennis shut his eyes, rubbing his face without thought on Jack's shoulder, giving a half-laugh at the reminder that Jack hadn't eaten. "Get you something to eat, I guess." Hearing Jack's rueful laugh also, Ennis finally felt they'd reached past something to an unsaid understanding. Perhaps it'd be all right after all. Because Jack had said-- he'd said he still loved Ennis, hadn't he?

And Ennis'd said it back. He realized just now that he hadn't denied what they had for a while now but it was the first time he'd admitted it out loud. That he wanted to be in this, for as long as it took. That he loved Jack, loved Jack, like he'd never loved Alma and nothing like his love for K.E. "Don't ever leave," he heard himself whisper, so faint that perhaps Jack wouldn't even hear.

Jack pushed back a little bit, playfully pushing Ennis away. "Well, bad news, 'cause I am leaving, and change your clothes 'cause you are too." He climbed to his feet. "If I don't get some food soon, I think my stomach's going to eat my brain-- what little of it there is."

Ennis pushed himself upright a bit shakily. He was hungry as well but his dick which had hardened as soon as Jack's arms were around him, was persistent. "Okay," he said, shifting a bit uncomfortably. It reminded him of the time they'd been at the river and Ennis hadn't even known what the hell was going on.

Jack stood there, physical hunger battling with another growling need, as he watched Ennis's face. He knew if he looked, Ennis would be hard. He was himself. And damn hungry as well. "Well, guess I could grab a cereal bar, keep me for a minute or two," Jack smiled.

"Huh?" said Ennis dazedly before he realized just what Jack meant. "Oh--" he said before Jack was up against him or he was up against Jack, Jack's hands roughly around him. Ennis could feel the heady grinding contact of erections-- it was perfect.

It was almost as good as rediscovering Jack's mouth all over again earlier that day, Ennis thought hazily-- no, better. Jack's lips opened wider and Ennis savored that mouth, that tongue, that taste of Jack as Ennis kissed Jack on and on and on in a fervent promise, a promise that he hoped Jack could realize and accept.

Jack broke the kiss long enough to mutter, "Screw it," a devilish grin on his face. He dove back into kiss Ennis, grasping Ennis close with one hand, while the other undid his own belt. The metal buckle came loose with a metallic snap-and-grind, and Jack worked his button and zipper until his pants were loose and ready.

"Fuck," Ennis gasped feverishly as he kissed Jack hard, fingers slipping as he tried to get his pants down fast enough. Grinding closer, Ennis grabbed Jack's hand to move them over his ass, pushing closer still. "Jack--" he managed to say before he had to shut his eyes and look away, still unable to say just what he wanted.

Jack pulled his hands back to grab Ennis's cheeks. He pulled Ennis's face back towards his, kissed harder, ground their bodies together more fiercely. They were both on their knees now. Jack knew almost instinctively what Ennis was trying to ask, and his heart hurt that there was still some sense of shame in wanting that for Ennis. There was a long road left for Ennis to travel, he knew. It'd been easier for him. He'd embraced his sexuality with a rebelliousness that had urged him to try everything and anything with pride, but Ennis's path here had been different, reluctant, not for sexuality, but for love.

Jack broke the kiss to gaze at Ennis, unbelieving. Ennis's eyes were still closed, an almost pained look on his face. Jack ran a tender hand around Ennis's forehead, smoothing back the hair.

"Alright. Be right back," he said, knowing that Ennis truly was doing the very best he could. Jack rose and tried to run, pants falling down and dick jutting before him like a banner, to his bedroom. He had to stop halfway to ditch the pants, or else fall on his face.

He didn't have any lube. He hadn't had any need for it and had used up his last of it a while ago just on himself. He grabbed a tube of "Lubriderm with Sea Kelp" instead. Damn expensive skin lotion, but worth it just now. If Ennis was to stick around, though, they'd break the bank using this stuff, so they'd better find a bulk lube discount dealer. Jack booked it back to the living room.

Ennis remained, unable to do anything but look at the dizzying swirl of carpet thread as Jack's footsteps left the room. Some part of him wondered at himself; wanting something that he'd only ever received once in truth, that one night at the motel out of the months they'd been together.

Another piece of him refused to contemplate any further. All Ennis knew was that quite simply, it was all that he wanted. Managing to make his way the few steps to the sofa, Ennis was aware of how he looked, harder than he'd ever been, the tremor in his hands making it hard to grasp onto the sofa's arm while he waited for Jack's return. And then Jack was back and Ennis saw what Jack was holding and, knowing the meaning of it, felt such a sharp stab of fear and desire his mouth dried.

A look passed Ennis's face not so different from pain when Jack returned. Jack paused, hoping that what Ennis was doing wasn't for him...

Jack came up softly next to Ennis on the couch. Ennis tried to turn away, but Jack didn't let him."Hey," Jack whispered into Ennis's hair, "We don't have to do this. Could do whatever, you know. We got tomorrow, and the next day, and the next." He sealed the sentiment by leaning in and starting another kiss: slow, gentle, reassuring.

Relaxing into the kiss, Ennis felt himself opening still further, the taste of Jack unique and hot, Jack who's mouth was Ennis's alone to kiss, Jack who always seemed to know just what Ennis needed-- Ennis felt his breath hitching, his hands finding a natural resting place on Jack's shoulders.

"Can't wait that long--" Ennis finally managed to say as he broke the kiss to pause for breath. "I want to--"

"Alright," Jack acquiesced. He hoped Ennis wanted it because Ennis wanted it, no other reason. It was just... just a beautiful thought. Jack wasn't sure why it touched him so much in that moment, except that this was them, and the plan was for it to be them for a while now.

He drove in to kiss Ennis one last time before adrenaline and endorphines took over. He was hard and wet and more than ready, already pants-less. It was only Ennis's, what, second time? He should be on his stomach, Jack thought with some regret. He would've liked to see Ennis just now, but there was always, as he had said, tomorrow.

Together, he and Ennis managed to get the young man more thoroughly naked in a hurry, and Jack even chuckled at their overall haste. He pushed at Ennis, turning him onto his stomach, and balanced himself on the back of the sofa while spreading hand lotion on much more than just his hands.

Ennis gripped a hold of the sofa, barely breathing at the sound of what Jack was so obviously doing.

Then Jack was leaning over his back, a solid warmth and Ennis let his head drop as he felt Jack's kisses burning his neck, barely able to remember what would come next.

After six months without another man, Jack felt his vision redden with desire as he spread Ennis's cheeks. A valley of tangled dark-blond hair greeted his eyes. He ran a hand gently through it, wanting to savor this moment. Ennis was beautiful. His thick, muscular thighs were likewise peppered in dirty blond. Jack moved his hands down to feel the corded muscle and course hair. His dick twitched at the sensation. He reached to stroke Ennis's sack, but knew he needed to get to it or he'd just come all over Ennis's lower back.

Jack dropped some more lotion into one hand and opened up the pathway between Ennis's strong glutes once again. He smoothed the lotion methodically on Ennis's asshole and began to rub around it, making only tiny ventures in with slick fingers, a half inch, maybe an inch, and back out to stroke.

"Oh God," Ennis let the words slip through his gritted teeth as Jack's fingers explored him so intimately that Ennis could barely hang on. It had been so long since that first time, so damn long.

Shakily, he moved his hand down to his erection, shuddering as he took himself while Jack's fingers played skillful upon his ass.

And then Jack couldn't wait any more, figured that was slick enough anyway, and rose up to enter Ennis. He started in slowly and deliberately, having difficulty breathing as he did, having to concentrate to force the air into and out of his lungs as the sensations shot down his limbs like electricity.

Ennis sucked his breath in sharply as he felt himself breached, and there was some pain; unavoidable as he knelt with head low. "Touch me," Ennis managed to gasp without thought as he pushed back again, the tremors coming from deep within and spreading outwards.

Jack wanted to ease in slowly, do this all slowly, but with Ennis talking like that it just wasn't possible. He forced himself the rest off the way in, too fast, he knew, and that would hurt, but his control was slipping. He reaching around, working Ennis's hot cock alternately in short and fast strokes, long and smooth ones, wandering on occasion to the warm nest of Ennis's scrotum, or up above to the tuft of pubic hair, and back to stroking. All the while Jack pounded and plunged into Ennis's ass, gasping and writhing with sensation. "Goddammit, Ennis. Wish I could just fuck you forever."

That low, deep tone was doing amazing things to the pit of Ennis's stomach, and-- "Jack," Ennis called out as Jack altered his thrusts and then Ennis was gone, caught between Jack's hand and his thrusts as Ennis, banging a fist into the sofa and wanting to drown with the complexity and wonder of it all.

Jack's breath halted and he managed to croak out, "Gonna come, Ennis," before a groan announced the actual event. He held Ennis close as he spilled over into Ennis hard enough to dim his vision.

Ennis felt himself spurting out over Jack's hand but then his legs finally collapsed and he was sprawled, boneless on the sofa with Jack's full weight on top of him, so damn good that Ennis couldn't imagine any other way to be than here, right now with this man.

He hadn't come more than thirty seconds ago, Ennis drooping lifelessly and barely breathing beneath him, when Jack's consciousness came flooding back and he was forced to ask the question. "What do you want for dinner, then?"

Ennis couldn't help but laugh as he pushed backwards against that warm, familiar weight. "Looks like we've wrecked your sofa again." As Jack moved off him, Ennis flopped lazily to the side, feeling more than fantastic. "Just give me a minute. You want to go for a walk and grab something then?"

"Yeah, ok. There's a subway about a mile from here if that's not too far." Jack rolled onto the carpet and lay there. His brain wanted to get up and get going. It was energized and ready. But his body was still jello.

Ennis finally made himself stand, linking both hands and pulling Jack up to his feet. "Hmm," he murmured, nuzzling that dark, silky hair before pulling back.

Both changed clothes with very little conversation, standing across from each other in Jack's bedroom, but Ennis realized that he had a silly smile on his face the whole time. The way that Jack was grinning back, he probably felt just the same inside.

They made their way outside and onto the street. Ennis looked around. "Sure is different from Riverton out here," he said before they started walking.

"Yeah, that it is. You think you can do ok with it?" A chilly wind drew dry leaves down the sidewalk in the silence after Jack asked the question.

Ennis stared up and down the street for a long moment before turning back to Jack. As they looked at each other, only then did Ennis realize he was slightly taller than Jack now, the difference very noticeable from a year ago, that first day in class with Mr. Twist, Ennis's memory reminded him. Ennis's Mr. Twist as Ennis had first thought of him.

But the circle had come right around and he wasn't that anymore, at all. He was Jack, the man who'd been teacher and mentor, then his friend, someone unique and so, so special, someone that had taught Ennis about life, about so many things and lastly and most importantly, about love. And the thought then dawned fully upon Ennis that he could have that now-- was in fact holding it in the palm of his hand-- and it made Ennis smile as Jack looked back, awaiting his answer.

"I think I can do pretty fine," Ennis replied, and walking close in time with Jack's steps, they moved down the street together.

****FIN****

A/N: There is an "epilogue" to this written. It's more of a short sequel. It was more for fun and, in my opinion, is less realistic, but am I correct in assuming that I ought to post it as well? I assume you all want to read it?

This Land is Your Land - Chapter Thirty-Eight

Mon, 23 Jun 2008 03:56:47 GMT

Title: This Land is Your Land - Chapter Thirty-Eight
Authors: lolitaray (Ennis) and planetgal471 (Jack)
Rating: NC-17 on/off through the fic
Disclaimer: Brokeback Mountain is the creation of Annie Proulx, and no profit is being made off of the sharing of this work. We do this for enjoyment only.
Summary: Ennis is a high-school drop-out giving it a final go. Jack is an enigmatic history teacher. This is a modern-day AU!AU. In this story, POVs are intermingled.
Warnings: The story within contains adult themes, including but not limited to: explicit m/m sex, teacher/student relationships involving the high school level, cursing, and descriptions of violence, including sexual violence. This has been written for fun, but we understand that not everyone may enjoy it.
Authors' Notes: Feedback is so appreciated. All editing and beta-work done by planetgal471 (please notify me of mistakes, I'll fix them!)

View All Chapters

This Land is Your Land: Chapter Thirty-Eight

Jack sighed and rolled his chair away from his desk. He stretched his neck and got a couple satisfying pops in response before crossing the room. He stopped before opening the door to glance at the wall clock. Really, the proposal was going well, but Jack didn't get many full, uninterrupted days in the office and he'd rather just get it done with.

Jack swung the door open, groaning "Yeah?" through an unexpected yawn before his eyes focused in front of him.

It was unfortunate that Ennis's first glimpse of Jack was that pink curling tongue as Jack yawned, running a hand through his hair. Ennis stood, unable to think of a thing to say. "Uh--" Ennis sucked in a breath, continuing to stare at Jack. "I--uh." Ennis shook his head, frustrated at himself. "K.E. told me where you'd moved, yesterday. I just couldn't...I had to see--" Ennis broke off, then made another attempt. "Look. Can I just talk to you for a minute? I got something to say."

Jack froze, his eyes widening as Ennis's words slowly sank in. He saw past Ennis's shoulder that Karen was watching the exchange with interest, and that was really what broke him from his catatonic state. "Yeah, come in here..." Jack stepped to the side, allowing entrance into the room. His eyes focused on nothingness as his brain cranked away, rewriting months upon months of history. Just yesterday? K.E. had told him just yesterday? Ennis hadn't left Jack on purpose all this time, he'd come just as soon as he'd known where to set his tires... Jack felt his heart start pounding hard in his chest as he shut the door.

"You, uh, you look... you got taller," Jack forced a smile through his confusion, noticing Ennis had put on a full inch, widening their height difference. He's also filled out in the shoulders, looked... looked damn sexy, was how he looked.

Ennis walked into the office, feeling out of place and awkward. Jack's body language was cautious, and Ennis couldn't blame him for it, after he'd just turned up out of the blue like this.

"I guess I've grown a bit," Ennis mumbled abstractedly, unsure what Jack's comment meant. Shuffling, Ennis's eyes took in the span of Jack's office, paperwork piled haphazardly across the desk. There was so much of Jack's life now about which he knew nothing. It was hard to put what he felt into words at the best of times, and right now Ennis felt tongue-tied and awkward. But he had to give it a try.

"I broke it off with Alma," he began, unsure of how to start. "I just couldn't--not after I saw you at the graduation."

Jack remembered that, the eye lock, with a flush of un-nameable emotion. He looked down at his shoes on the flat, gray carpet. "Yeah?" he asked, tentative. "I'm sorry-- she musta been pretty upset," he choked out.

Ennis grimaced, remembering Alma's horrified reaction. He'd done wrong by her, no doubt about it, but there had been no way to make it right or easier in the end. And she'd had no call making those comments about Jack, no matter how bad she had felt.

"I didn't handle it too well," Ennis admitted, then decided to elaborate. "I know I should have done it long before. K.E. told me, you told me, guess I had my head in the sand. Didn't want to admit that what I felt-- what we had was, well. Real." Ennis worried a hangnail nervously, wishing he was anywhere with Jack but in the confines of the sterile office, but he owed Jack this, even if Jack didn't want to speak to him again, after. And how crazy did he look, driving nine hours to Jack's work?

Speaking of which, it looked like Jack was pretty busy. And he had a job to do, too, for which he was being paid. It wasn't like being on the ranch, where they could work together and toss out comments in passing. Ennis made a helpless gesture towards Jack's desk. "Guess you need to get back to work. I'm-- uh, sorry for intruding."

Jack digested Ennis's words slowly and precariously, until Ennis's feet made hesitant movements towards the door. Suddenly, months of anguish stored and buried and long assumed dead came bubbling to the surface, erupting as a different emotion, and Jack found himself pushing Ennis against the wall, clinging to Ennis's coat. Their groins met first, then lips, Jack crying his despair into lust, moaning his lust into its object. His hands clenched Ennis with ferocity, but even that grip did not compare in brute strength to the clamoring, claiming of two mouths hungry for each other.

Of all Jack's possible reactions, this was the one Ennis was most unprepared for. In his dreams, yes, but those silent hopes had long lain unacknowledged, disregarded as impossible once Ennis awoke. Ennis had started to retrace steps, despair battling with lost hope, when Jack had acted.

Ennis's first split-second reaction was that Jack was angry, the sucker punch long owed, those cutting words said and unsaid looming up large, too hurtful, too much pain to fix between them, ever. Ennis braced himself for the blow, prepared and expected. Then Jack's body was up against his, pushing bluntly into Ennis's body space, the hot-burn of Jack up against his body like a flame, Jack's hands grasping him, and goddamn, he smelt the same, felt the same, and Ennis couldn't fight this thing anymore, and didn't want to, too strong, too right, and he wasn't going to give it up, never.

The stinging of tears in his eyes meant nothing, only the office blurring into one aspect around which his life revolved, Jack. And Jack's mouth, as he kissed it hotly; Ennis had missed those kisses like losing a part of him, needing them. Gasping into Jack's mouth, Ennis heard himself moan. It would have embarrassed him if anyone else had heard it. Pulling back slightly, it was impossible not to miss Jack's response to the kiss: the dilated eyes, the flushed cheeks. Ennis moved his shaking hand to Jack's mouth, traced the outline of those lips, shaking his head slightly. "When I heard you'd gone-- never should have let you go. Never should have let you leave my sight."

Jack fished for breath out of the thin Colorado air. "Not too late. I'm here now. I mean..." Jack tilted his head, realizing he couldn't say the words again, not to be turned down again.

"Yeah, you're here--" Ennis managed, before he realized just where the hell 'here' was. Reluctantly, Ennis leaned the press of his body back, the cool swirl of air as he moved away from Jack excruciating. He hastily reached a hand down to the front of his jeans, adjusting his painful erection. Damn. "Uh...I guess you got to finish work, but can I see you after? I can just sleep in the pick-up." Ennis ran a hand through his hair, wincing as he felt the dirt in it from the previous day's work on the land. He was suddenly very exhausted. "That is--" Ennis's heart refused to speak the words, but his mind told him that he had better get it all out in the open, this time. "Unless you've got plans. I mean-- I just turned up here, and, well..." Ennis shook his head, out of words. Jack had just kissed him like he'd meant it, like the whole last three months hadn't happened. But Ennis had seen the hurt and anger in Jack's eyes, seen him walk away at the graduation. Surely-- surely they could make this right, find some level ground to walk upon together.

Jack was slow to follow Ennis's meaning, watching Ennis's eyes, watching Ennis's mouth move, coming belatedly to some sort of realization about what Ennis'd said. Grinning like a kid, he answered, "Yeah. No. I mean, don't do that-- sleepin' in your car." Jack leaned back in one movement towards his desk and snapped up the keys that lay here, working to take one off the plain ring. "This... this is to my apartment. It's real easy to get to, just hop on the highway down here, take exit 219A, and then your first right." The key snapped loose. "5A. Just in case you want a bed and a shower. Or a couch. Or whatever."

Jack offered the key across to Ennis as one would offer a mint to a skittish horse: palm flat, not knowing whether Ennis would trust it, would accept it or not.

Reaching out, Ennis kept his eyes upon the key, flat and winking silver in Jack's outstretched hand. Plucking it easily, he let his eyes lift to Jack's face. Jack's smile had faded and he was gazing intently at Ennis, obviously having serious thoughts. Ennis thought he could understand what they were. A wave of trepidation had already risen at the thought of Jack's apartment. Jack knew he was paranoid, and for good reason most of the time. Ennis had already wondered straight away just where this apartment was, if it would look suspicious entering, what people would say. The shame of knowing that they thought him and Jack-- well. The judgment. What would happen if...if...

Pushing these thoughts away, Ennis forced himself to think of the hot shower and the fact that he was in Denver, which Jack was clearly happy about. That made him feel warm all over. Because any other alternative was just too much to contemplate. The very worst thing would be to not find the apartment, not to be able to see Jack's face as he walked through that door. And there was nothing that anyone could hold over Jack's head anymore. Jack wasn't his teacher. It was just Jack and Ennis. And they'd work it out somehow. Between the two of them.

Lifting his hand holding the key, Ennis chose his fate, holding up the key as if to show it to Jack. Ennis felt his heart fill as Jack simply stood there, half-shutting his eyes. The empty void that had existed for the last few weeks had slammed shut the moment he'd walked in the door. Ennis hadn't even hardly spoken to Jack and yet he was sated, just by the sight of him-- content.

"Sounds easy enough to find," Ennis said quietly. "And I sure need a shower." And you. Just you. Blushing slightly, Ennis remembered the last shower he'd had with Jack, and forced himself to continue. "I'll be there, k? We gonna talk."

Jack nodded, feeling a hum like the distant past, imaging already his own apartment lamplight like that motel paradise they'd found one time.

The door swung open with a bang, crashing Jack's hypnotic trance to pieces with an adrenaline surge. "Jack, Dan was wondering if you have--"

Jack turned to watch a slack-jawed Brie as she stopped mid sentence, blushing a bit. "Oh, sorry. I didn't realize you had company."

"'S alright," Jack breathed, hoping it was, hoping it would be. "Brie, this is my friend Ennis. Ennis, Brie. She's a co-worker of mine." Jack tried to smile, but worry rose in his stomach. He stepped towards Ennis instinctively, their sides touching just a little bit. He needed to assure himself that Ennis was still there, wasn't afraid, would be alright, assure Ennis of something, whatever he needed. It just felt right.

"I--uh," Ennis stumbled. He could feel Jack's heat alongside his body, both unnerving and focusing him, strangely enough. Heart racing from their brief peace so rudely shattered, Ennis realized too late he was reaching up to a hat which he wasn't wearing, not being on the ranch. He awkwardly ran a hand through his hair instead, nodding to Jack's co-worker. "Mornin' Ma'am."

Brie's light blush grew deep and ruddy. "Morning," She squeaked, but she stumbled backwards out of the door again, closing it too hard behind her.

Ennis looked baffled, turning to Jack for guidance. "Did I say something wrong?"

Jack chuckled. "Right, maybe. You may not spend all your time gazing in mirrors, Ennis," Jack answered as he slowly went back to his desk, glowing eyes glued on Ennis even as he started writing the directions on a piece of paper just in case, "but you are one hot man. You go throwing around that cowboy stuff, and even sensible ladies get a little, well..." Jack pointed to the door with his pen. "You saw. This isn't Riverton, either. We don't have near enough genuine cowboys here." Jack's face suddenly went taught, harbingers of worry shading his eyes. "You aren't... I mean, you don't..." In the shadow of the kiss, Jack thought he shouldn't feel so insecure, but a kiss was no certainty when it came to Ennis-- nothing was. He could not believe what he was going to say next, but it seemed the most genuine thing he could say, the last sliver of his long-endured hopelessness asserting itself, protecting his heart. "What I'm trying to say is," Jack looked at the floor, didn't want to ask this looking at Ennis, "I could probably get you a date with her if you wanted me to."

Ennis felt his mouth falling open and hastily tried to shut it, glancing back towards the closed door that Brie had just departed. A date? He couldn't remember what the girl looked like, though that wasn't even the point.

Jack thought he was showing interest in the girl? Jack wanted Ennis to play the field, like he himself was doing? Jack was pointedly averting his eyes from Ennis, a muscle working in his cheek. Always slow on the uptake, it took Ennis a second or two to work out just why the hell Jack had said that. Or maybe...maybe Jack thought Ennis wanted to take the easy way out, the way it had been with Alma.

"Jack." Ennis meant to say something serious but he couldn't prevent the snort of laughter he emitted. Jack looked up straight away at that. Good, Ennis thought with a tinge of satisfaction. "You can get me a date with anyone you like, but I ain't gonna go on it. And why the hell? I ain't out in Denver to try my hand at dating different gals, y'know. Saying I'm good looking? Hell," Ennis paused, embarrassed now at the thought, "I'm just ordinary. You, on the other hand, well." Ennis tried to think on all the ways he could describe what he saw when he looked at Jack, and failed miserably at any attempt to define that beauty. Best to stop while he was ahead.

Jack smiled, his eyes distinctively clouded with wetness. "Get on out of here or I'm gonna miss my afternoon meeting," Jack laughed.

Ennis pretended to tip an imaginary hat to Jack, giving his man a half-shy, half-mischievous smile, deliberately making his accent stronger. "Sure thing, sir. I'll be seein' you later on, I guess." Ennis stuck his thumbs into his pockets, jutting out his hips in imitation of a real cowboy. It wasn't intentional, but seeing the resulting flash and unhidden desire in Jack's eyes, Ennis figured he'd better be getting out of the office, or events would be set into motion that he'd have no control over.

This Land is Your Land - Chapter Thirty-Seven

Fri, 06 Jun 2008 02:53:57 GMT

Title: This Land is Your Land - Chapter Thirty-Seven
Authors: lolitaray (Ennis) and planetgal471 (Jack)
Rating: NC-17 on/off through the fic
Disclaimer: Brokeback Mountain is the creation of Annie Proulx, and no profit is being made off of the sharing of this work. We do this for enjoyment only.
Summary: Ennis is a high-school drop-out giving it a final go. Jack is an enigmatic history teacher. This is a modern-day AU!AU. In this story, POVs are intermingled.
Warnings: The story within contains adult themes, including but not limited to: explicit m/m sex, teacher/student relationships involving the high school level, cursing, and descriptions of violence, including sexual violence. This has been written for fun, but we understand that not everyone may enjoy it.
Authors' Notes: Feedback is so appreciated. All editing and beta-work done by planetgal471 (please notify me of mistakes, I'll fix them!)

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This Land is Your Land: Chapter Thirty-Seven

North of Cheyenne, Jack pulled over at a crappy gas depot and bought old, stale coffee and a pack of smokes. It was raining now, but he didn't even care, didn't dodge the raindrops as he stepped into puddles. The cold soaked through him. He wasted no time getting back on the road.

Jack's gaze flitted between the road and the cigarettes. He'd smoked a couple packs in college, only when he was good and drunk, but not since. This was Ennis's brand, though, and Jack unwrapped them and lit one, opening the window to the rain to let his lovesick ashes drop into the muddy Wyoming roadside. He smoked cig after cig with his left hand while he kept his right hand trained firmly on the wheel, eyes glued unblinking at the dark, wet road ahead. Each tasted like Ennis, and when each ended he wanted another. He coughed and felt sick, but the sickness only made physical a feeling that was already in him, so he bore it, letting them keep him awake as night became deeper.

Finally, he had only two cigarettes left. He tossed them aside, saving them. He wanted his apartment to bear the smell of Ennis for just a little while, anyway.

* * * *

Ennis sank as far back into the truck's seat as possible, the window down. K.E. shuddered with the cold at intervals throughout the drive home, but made no attempt to make Ennis wind it back up.

The wild rain was oddly invigorating, mingling with the tears streaking Ennis's face. At one stage, K.E. reached out to pat Ennis's leg, but Ennis pushed it away almost roughly. It reminded him too much of Jack.

The night was broken into fragments as Ennis tossed and turned, reliving the day. He cringed inwardly, imagining the town's talk on the break-up and the reasons that would be speculated. It was his own fault. In his heart, Ennis knew he should have made the split months before, when K.E. had first told him too. And now he was paying the price, alright.

* * * *

The next six weeks passed in a sort of blur as Ennis tried to get used to no expectations, save the hard work K.E. threw at him early each morning.

It was nice to enjoy the solitude, no exams, no study, nothing but the animals as company. The usual hectic pace of summer's rich life force was no different from any other year, after all. Days passed and Ennis spent his time clearing out irrigation ditches, herding cattle, delivering late calves, dragging meadows and fencing critical areas to keep in stock. Ennis complained when K.E. hired a hand part-time, but secretly enjoyed being the boss of Charlie, a young man almost as silent as Ennis.

It wasn't the same as working with Jack though, where the work was done before Ennis knew it, but the extra help was always needed and the ranch was looking fine. Yet the aching void in Ennis's heart continued. Sometimes, he'd forget and look up, catch a glance of Charlie bent over his spade, sight the brim of his tan hat, never black. Ennis would find himself turning, bent double at the pain, wondering when it would pass, go away and let him live a peaceful life.

Despite numerous fights, Ennis refused point blank to go into the town since the break up with Alma. K.E. had argued till he was blue in the face, to no avail. Ennis could be as stubborn as his brother when it came down to it, so, with many a sigh and pointed look, K.E. continued to make the weekly trip for groceries, and his nights with friends at the local bar. He'd taken to dating sporadically a pretty girl called Mary, taking her to the rodeo each week, not serious enough to bring her back to the ranch as yet. His scattered comments about Ennis not living a normal life had no effect at all.

Life went on. One day Ennis realized with a kind of stunned disbelief that it had been over a year since he'd first met Jack. Seemed his whole life had been shadowed up until that moment. Ennis was more morose than usual that Saturday morning, unable to eat anything. He nursed a black coffee until K.E. finally snapped back.

"Asked you five times now if we were going to dig that trench, Ennis, and I'm still waiting for an answer."

Ennis looked up unseeingly. "Sure."

K.E. rolled his eyes. "It's like living with a dead man, sure enough." Standing, he gathered his gear together, stomping out without waiting on Ennis to follow.

A couple of hours later, Ennis felt some semblance of peace. The summer was winding down into autumn. The sunlight seemed warmer and the smells in the air denser and richer this time of year. Ennis was distracted by thoughts of the work that came with the change of seasons. There had been no need to talk to K.E., who whistled in satisfaction, and Ennis couldn't help but smile at a job well done.

The following Sunday afternoon, both of them mounted their horses to ride fence. Ennis lost himself in the inspection and mending of the fence line, the rhythm of Cigar Butt's easy stride, happier than he had felt in months. That is, until, after a time, he happened to glance up and see where he was. Their tree. His and Jack's. Memories of a different time crowded in against his will, a time before K.E. had found out about himself and Jack, before the madness had started, when it had just been himself and his lover, on the ranch, no other care in the world. Ennis remembered the lazy exploration of Jack's body, how Jack had returned the favor without fail. The easy lilt and flow of their conversation, every word spoken by Ennis accepted and valued by his lover.

"You just got stung?"

Ennis shook his head, too jolted to speak. K.E. frowned, spurring on Coffee, and Ennis booted his heels into Cigar Butt's side to keep up.

They continued in silence for another half hour before K.E. cleared his throat and spoke.

"Parker."

Ennis jumped, having ridden along in a semi-stupor of past dreams without a word being spoken between them. "Huh?"

K.E. grimaced. "Your teach-- uh, Twist. Working in the state forestry or something. Town named Parker. Near Denver."

Ennis tilted his head up, squinting in the bright sun at his brother, aware his mouth was hanging open. "J-Jack? In Denver?" he stuttered.

Flushing, K.E. clicked to Coffee. "That's all I know. I swear it on my life. Do with it what you will, Ennis. You're a grown man."

* * * *

Ennis spent dinner in silence, processing the information. K.E. watched him, making no effort to help, sliding glance after glance in between mouthfuls of soup. It was almost too much to take in. Now that Ennis had the knowledge, he didn't know what he would do with it. He'd never even traveled out of Riverton, save that trip to the Tetons.

K.E. stretched, watching his brother. "Want to watch a show?"

Ennis jerked his head in a shrug, absently. "If you like."

K.E. went to stand, then paused. "I got a map, if you need it."

Flicking a suspicious glance at his brother, Ennis didn't speak.

"I guess you'll have to take my truck."

"Why in hell would you lend me your truck?"

"Christ, Ennis, why do you think? Ain't you planning on driving to Denver tonight?"

Ennis worried his lip. "Don't know. Never done much travel before."

Rolling his eyes, K.E. stood up. "Well, best time to start. Twist said they were more liberal that way. But for Christ's sake, be careful, is all I ask."

Leaning back, Ennis moved his thumb over the table, taking in the worn furniture of the room, the signs of obvious poverty. "Why are you doing this, K.E.? How will you get on without me?"

K.E. snorted. "You'll be back, won't you? I've been thinking 'bout that remark you made, months back. About bringing Ma and Dad back to life. Some things you just can't change, Ennis. And," K.E. shrugged, looking out of the window, "I guess some things you can."

Ennis stood and moved over to K.E., awkwardly giving him some semblance of a hug. K.E. returned it just as awkwardly, clapping a hand on Ennis's shoulder. "Mary and I-- well, she's a special one, Ennis. Wouldn't like to lose her. I can't take care a you forever."

Drawing back, Ennis felt his brows lower in indignation. "You don't take care of me!"

K.E. waved a hand. "Sure. Drive carefully, y'hear?"

"I don't think I can do it, K.E. What if-- what if he doesn't--" Ennis broke off, his heart starting to beat furiously.

K.E. snorted. "God, Ennis, now that's the last thing you got a worry about!"

* * * *

Jack glanced down at his watch and up again as Josh Kelly led the group of elementary-aged kids and their just-as-wide-eyed parents on a journey through Ute Indian history with the tale of Cin-an-ev the trickster-wolf. The program was almost over. Jack turned and went back to the park office, letting himself in with a master key to review his own schedule and sign Josh's forms.

Rick popped in just then. "Hey Jack, are you going to be out at Boyd tomorrow for the 5k?"

Jack sighed and shook his head, distracted.

"Come on, I know it's boring, but I also know Jon's going to be there." Rick's eyebrow went up.

Jack stared at him for a moment before shaking his head. "I told you, I'm not interested."

"You're too young to give up on a social life."

"Doesn't matter anyway. We have a proposal due next week and a meeting tomorrow. No way I can come."

"Alright," Rick acquiesced. "But you're still invited to the dinner Karen and I are hosting, even if you come alone," Rick joked.

Jack forced a smile and packed up the last of the papers. "Yup. See you around."

"See ya!"

Jack climbed into his car and drove back to the main office to finish up his paperwork before driving home to his empty apartment.

* * * *

It had been well after midnight when Ennis finally left. He was full of trepidation, not knowing what to expect, not knowing what to find. After all, it had been months. Probably Jack, thinking Ennis was married, was with someone else. After the terms they had ended with, Ennis wasn't sure just what to think.

Or what to do.

He still had no idea what he was even planning, driving through the pitch black, window cranked down to keep him awake, squinting at the road.

Dawn eventually started to lighten the sky, its dusky pink and apricot fingers trailing over the dirty upholstery of the truck, tracing Ennis's haggard, unshaven face. And still he kept on driving.

Finally, Ennis made a turn off, seeing the signpost announcing the town of Denver. Parker was easy to find but State Forestry? Was that like the State Parks? Ennis had no idea, but figured he could find some main office. It was nearly 10 am now, and surely Jack would be at work. That seemed safer somehow.

Ennis stopped at a roadside gas station, almost dead on his feet, fatigue lining his eyes, gulping down a cup of black coffee. It had been over 20 hours since he had slept or eaten, and the caffeine leapt into his system like a strong drug.

The cashier gave him directions to the state park office easily enough, calling them over his shoulder as he restocked cigarettes. Ennis's stomach churned, his heart raced, and his hands were so sweaty they slipped on the pick-up's wheel.

* * * *

The next day, Jack rose as if it were any other day. The sunrise was red and pink: sailors should take warning, but state park public program co-coordinators were probably sufficiently land-locked and would be alright, Jack decided.

He arrived at the office and dropped a few hellos to the people who deserved them. It was a good place to work, and he was enjoying it. The people were nice, and no one had given him a hassle about being gay. Some of the older, stodgier men gave him uncomfortable silence, but that was better than he got from his own father, so it didn't bother him at all. No one meant him ill, anyway.

He went into his office and frantically started in on his paragraphs of the grant proposal so he would have something to show at the meeting this afternoon. He found his words easily and the process was flowing smoothly, Jack hitting his stride.

* * * *

Ennis waited outside the small wooden building for half an hour, alternating between drumming his fingers on the pick-up's wheel and glancing out the window nervously, inspecting the tall pines surrounding the building.

They didn't make him feel any better, however. The silent trees reminded him of the Tetons, and of course, the last argument, Jack's final words.

Finally, when a confident-looking young woman made her way down the stairs, stopping to give Ennis an unsure glance, he thought he'd better act. After nearly 12 hours on the road and full night of driving with no food in his stomach he could only begin to imagine how he looked.

Feeling utterly wrenched with fear, Ennis made his way up the stairs and pushed through the door, a bell tinkling merrily.

"Can I help you?"

Hiding his shaking hands behind his back, Ennis made an effort not to look around the room, locking eyes instead with the competent-looking receptionist.

"Uh...Mr.Twist?"

"You'd like to see Jack? Just through that door there."

Unable to believe that this could be so simple, Ennis gave a grimace of intended thanks, making his way to stand in front of the door the receptionist had indicated. After a pause, he knocked hesitantly.

This Land is Your Land - Chapter Thirty-Six

Thu, 29 May 2008 00:49:04 GMT

Title: This Land is Your Land - Chapter Thirty-Six
Authors: lolitaray (Ennis) and planetgal471 (Jack)
Rating: NC-17 on/off through the fic
Disclaimer: Brokeback Mountain is the creation of Annie Proulx, and no profit is being made off of the sharing of this work. We do this for enjoyment only.
Summary: Ennis is a high-school drop-out giving it a final go. Jack is an enigmatic history teacher. This is a modern-day AU!AU. In this story, POVs are intermingled.
Warnings: The story within contains adult themes, including but not limited to: explicit m/m sex, teacher/student relationships involving the high school level, cursing, and descriptions of violence, including sexual violence. This has been written for fun, but we understand that not everyone may enjoy it.
Authors' Notes: Feedback is so appreciated. All editing and beta-work done by planetgal471 (please notify me of mistakes, I'll fix them!)

View All Chapters

This Land is Your Land: Chapter Thirty-Six

They took their same seats in silence just as the students were starting to process in. Jack wondered if this was a good idea really, coming here, or would it be salt in a wound? He knew now Ennis was graduating, and that Ennis was interested in college, so there wasn't a reason to stay. Yet he couldn't make himself leave, either. He was nearly too afraid to skim the students as they filed in, boys in red gowns, girls in white, all with matching caps, red and white tassels hanging in their eyes. Ennis came in and Jack's stomach did a leap, his breath caught, his penis throbbed, and all of it against his will.

The students sat and Jack stared unfalteringly at Ennis through the entirety of all the speeches, not hearing a single word. Ennis did look grim. His mouth was set in a hard line and his eyes stayed trained on the floor.

Jack remembered then the other times: Ennis teasing him in the barn, stealing his hat, receiving his first blow job. Ennis bottoming for the first time at the motel that should have seemed like a crap place but stood out in Jack's mind like the highest level of heaven. Ennis in the Tetons, bison grass moon and mountains, and falling asleep after sex in the carpet of wildflowers, blanketed by wind. How had they ended up here, this distance and silence and disagreement between them? Jack felt heavily that it was all his fault for pushing just too hard.

Ennis stared at the dull scratches and marks in the floor, barely taking in a word. He couldn't be bothered to look at the crowd throughout the eternity of speeches. The last thing he wanted to see was Alma's proudly smiling face, not when he felt like such a failure, inside.

Students were starting to stand and walk to receive their diplomas and, although Ennis was listening intently for the sound of his name being called, it still gave him a shock. Standing and moving to the center stage, Ennis tried to sum up some kind of emotion like pride. He'd worked so, so hard for this. But all that he could think of was the thing that'd been tormenting him day and night: Jack.

Ennis gave an obligatory glance around the gym as he walked, taking in the applauding crowd. He picked out K.E., applauding proudly and behind him-- Ennis's heart gave the most enormous jolt. He thought for a brief second that he was going mad, that his brain had actually made Jack appear, a mirage, some make-believe figure.

But that was surely Jack, staring at Ennis, not clapping, unmoving. Ennis realized all at once that his name was being called again, and trying to snap out of his daze, hurriedly moved forward to receive his diploma, his heart thudding almost out of his chest, palms sweaty. Jack? Jack was here? Ennis returned to his chair, gaze returning, haunted, to Jack's, trembling from head to foot

Jack didn't think he took his eyes off of Ennis's for the rest of the ceremony. Ennis didn't flinch away and neither did Jack. Jack thought of waiting around after all, especially when he saw Ennis's lips almost twitch up in a smile, but he remembered telling K.E. how that wasn't his plan, so as soon as the students filed out, he called some polite goodbye to K.E. and hauled ass out the side door and to his car before he changed his mind.

Once there, he got on the road quickly. One glance to the west where a band of black sky obscured the golden sunset told Jack that a mighty big storm was coming. He doubted he could race it all the way to Denver, but he'd get as far as he could before all hell broke loose.

* * * *

Ennis fidgeted non-stop, agitated beyond belief, needing the ceremony to have been over half an hour ago. The minute everyone stood, he was pushing his way through the crowd desperately, shoving up against nonchalant families chatting as though they hadn't a care in the world, his one aim in forging ahead towards the direction of Jack's seat.

"Ennis, we're over here!"

Ennis caught a glimpse of Alma but paid her no mind, continuing with a reckless fervor. The seats were empty when he reached them and, without giving pause, Ennis made his way to the open door and out into cool air.

"Ennis."

Ennis started violently as K.E.'s strong hand wrapped around his shoulder. He shook his head, trying to pull away.

"K.E., I can't right now, I got to--"

Backing skillfully away from the crush of bodies, K.E. pushed Ennis back against the weathered brick wall of the building. Taking in Ennis's wild gaze, K.E. nodded in comprehension, one hand reaching up to brush the sweaty curls of the side of his younger brother's face. "He's gone, Ennis. Just leave it, alright? It's not the time."

"The hell?" Ennis paid K.E. no regard at all, continuing to scan the school yard, frantic for a glimpse of Jack's dark hair and blue eyes. His whole body ached for one glimpse of that tall figure, needing Jack with a desperation that was overpowering. "He can't have--"

"Said he only came to see you get the diploma, alright?" K.E. tightened the grip on Ennis's shoulder as he made another bid for freedom. "Christ's sake get a hold of yourself, Ennis. Look where we are!"

"You spoke to him?" Finally recognizing what K.E. was saying, Ennis squinted against the pain in his gut, looking up at his brother.

K.E. looked evasive, turning his head away from Ennis. "Only for a couple a minutes."

"Well, what the fuck did he say? Christ, K.E., you got to know I've been out of my mind for weeks, now."

"Nothing." K.E. wasn't meeting Ennis's eyes and Ennis realized as surely as when they were children that his brother was lying to him. "Just that...uh...he'd come to see you were alright."

"And?"

"That was it, Ennis! Uh..." K.E. turned back to Ennis. "He had some information about some scholarship that you can do if you wanted."

"So what's he doing? Where is he?" Ennis knew it was crazy to be asking these questions, but the burning deep inside demanded explanations.

"Didn't say."

"The hell he didn't!" Ennis pulled his arm free, found his hands gripping K.E.'s shirt, breath coming fast and agitated.

"Get the hell off me Ennis, you just got a snap out of this madness--"

Ennis swung up and out, the punch not directed at K.E. but his whole damn life in general, the blazing unfairness of his situation. It was aimed towards whomever had left Earl lying on the ground, sitting in the blood rivers of his emptied veins. At Aguirre's scornful glares slid across at Ennis every day throughout the last couple of months, silently mocking. At bitter, drunk ranchers, fearful of what they didn't understand. It was the pain that Ennis had felt, every second of every day since Jack had turned his back and left. Unbearable but Ennis had to bear it, day in, day out. Of his making.

As Ennis felt his fist connect with K.E.'s jaw, remorse came hot on the heels of the anger, but it was too late by then, as K.E. started coughing, spitting blood.

"Jesus, K.E." Ennis rested his hand helplessly on K.E.'s back as his brother bent double trying to catch his breath. "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry."

Turning, K.E. faced the building, removing his handkerchief and holding it to his face. His brother mumbled something and Ennis bent forward with trepidation, almost expecting a punch in return.

"What did you say?"

Incredulously, Ennis lent forward, unable to believe what he was hearing. His brother was laughing. Ennis stood, jaw dropped.

"Damn, but Daddy taught you well." K.E. straightened, gingerly running a finger around his inner right gum, wincing as it passed over the split in his lip. "At least you're talking to me now, huh?"

Casting his eyes down, Ennis felt ashamed. "I didn't mean it, you know."

"Course I know that, I'm your goddamned brother." K.E. took a deep, cautious inhalation. "You admit now you can't go on like this?"

Ennis set his jaw and nodded.

K.E. nodded in return, then glanced into the crowd. "Christ, here comes Alma with her family. Ennis, you promise me you'll do the right thing, here, won't you?"

Ennis shrugged, Jack's face still burning a flame in his mind. "You really don't know where he went?"

K.E. nodded. "I said that, didn't I? You got a look to you, sort your life out, now. Promise me that."

Ennis only just became aware of the black clouds looming overhead when he looked up and felt the first patter of drops on his skin. He didn't move as Alma made her way to him, Mr. Beers puffing close behind, Mrs. Beers tugging Meli along by the hand.

"You did it, Ennis." Alma's eyes were wondering. "I was so proud, so proud of you up there."

"Yeah, well..."

Mrs. Beers cut in, throwing out a greeting to K.E., who returned it awkwardly, shaking Alma's Daddy's hand.

"We were going to take you all out to a restaurant to celebrate, but Alma thought you'd like to go bowling. How about that, Ennis?"

"No way of getting home," Ennis said, grateful for the excuse.

"Just drop me off at the bar, and come get me after, Ennis," K.E. said pointedly. "That way you'll spend time with Alma alone."

Resigned, Ennis did just that, unable to resist throwing a longing look after K.E., who had covered his head with his coat against the deluge and was running into the safety of the bar.

In silence, he went to start up the truck. Alma moved over closer, putting a hand over his arm.

"You really want to go bowling, Ennis?"

Ennis shrugged. "Sure."

"I need to talk."

Ennis turned to Alma, feeling a stab of guilt. He'd hardly seen her in four weeks.

"Uh...what about?"

"I know you've been real busy with exams and all, Ennis."

To Ennis's dismay, Alma started crying. Patting her shoulder awkwardly, he tried to think of what to say. Was it possible that she'd found out about Jack? Ennis was still trying to decide what to do. If anything, he was more confused after seeing the man today. He needed a bit of time to think of what he was going to do, how he was going to act.

"Alma, I don't know what's wrong unless you tell me."

Alma took a deep breath and sat back, wiping her face with her hands. "Bill kissed me today."

"Wha?" It took a moment for Ennis to understand, particularly as Alma had burst into fresh tears.

"I didn't lead him on, Ennis, I swear. I've been so worried about you. I tried to resign from the diner... still can if you--"

"Just-- just leave it, okay?" Ennis held his head in his hands, unable to process what he was hearing. It was all mixed up, the stress of the graduation, the shock of seeing Jack, the strain of hitting K.E.

Ennis felt a surge of resentment, feeling that he had to try and soothe Alma down, comfort her, make everything all right. For all the trials he'd gone through with Jack, he'd never felt that burden. Tears stung his eyes and swiped them away angrily.

Feeling like he was about to meet his death sentence, he turned to Alma, shaking his head. "It's no good. Can't do this anymore."

Alma's jaw dropped. "Can't do what, Ennis?"

"Can't marry you." The moment the words were out of his mouth, Ennis felt better just for saying them, the stone on his heart lifting slightly. Drawing a deep breath, Ennis wound down the window, letting the cool wash of rain sweep over him. A cracked-spit of lighting sparked over the plains a couple miles away, and in return thunder churned from above.

"I know you're jealous but--"

"Nope. I ain't jealous." Ennis almost laughed at the suggestion. "This just isn't right, hasn't been for months now. And you know it, Alma."

Resentment flared in Alma's eyes. "It could be right if you'd just let it, Ennis. I could take real good care of you. I-- " Alma's voice choked off and she made another effort. "I love you so much."

Ennis bit his lip, but no going back. "I'm sorry." He awkwardly reached out to pat her shoulder but Alma scooted back against the edge of the truck, teeth baring in a snarl.

"You're sorry? You're sorry? What in hell is wrong with you, Ennis? Why're you doing this?"

Shrugging, Ennis chewed on a hangnail, unable to answer the question.

When Alma next spoke, her tone was low and bitter, filled with lost months without Ennis's attention. "It's because a him, isn't it?

Ennis jerked, his head snapping up, meeting Alma's eyes squarely. "What are you talking about? This is between us, Alma. You know it's not working. That's all I'm going to say about it."

"Huh. Should have listened to his friend that day she came into the diner." Alma shook her head in disgust. "That it, Ennis? You pining away over that filthy queer teacher?"

Ennis leaned menacingly closer, face right up against Alma's. "Just shut the fuck up. You'd best shut that mouth before you say another damn word in front of me about Jack."

Alma grimaced. "Jack, huh? And you expect me to believe Jack has nothing to do with this, still? What about the night that he came to my folks house and you gave him a lift home. Did you end up in his bed?" Alma stared at the fiery red flush that crept over Ennis's face and nodded to herself in confirmation. "Sure enough. Well, I'm going a be making a call in the morning to the authorities."

"The hell you are!"

"He's your teacher, ain't he? That isn't legal, for one. He's brainwashed you, made you queer... never like this before you met him--"

Reaching out, Ennis gripped Alma's wrist in a sharp burn, twisting so she cried out in pain. Thunder cracked so loudly that Ennis could hardly hear his yells over the electric currents.

"You do that, and you'll pay for it, hear me? And K.E. will help me out. He's gone now, left the school. You say one word and your family will be sorry you were born."

Alma cast a panicked look through the pouring rain in the direction of the bar. "Let me go! Now!"

Ennis released her with a look of disgust, reaching past and pulling at the door lever, releasing the catch. Shaking with sobs, Alma managed to push it open, not even looking at Ennis, bag under her arm as she ran into the safety of the bar.

Ennis sat in silence, sickness and regret washing over him, waiting for K.E.'s inevitable appearance.

This Land is Your Land - Chapter Thirty-Five

Sat, 24 May 2008 03:27:08 GMT

Sorry for the massive hiatus. I take full responsibility, and can give you some hope that it's over. Some of you may be aware that a completed version of this story was posted privately. This public version will be different, and I can't tell you how they differ as I have not read the private version, but I imagine all edits are small in both versions so they should read nearly identically. Any major issues or errors you find in this and future chapters are 100% my fault as I am editing solo, whereas the content is as it has ever been-- the amalgam of my own Jack and lolitaray's Ennis. Enjoy :) ~planetgal471

Title: This Land is Your Land - Chapter Thirty-Five
Authors: lolitaray (Ennis) and planetgal471 (Jack)
(lolitaray also writes K.E. aka the most awesome character ever)
Rating: NC-17 on/off through the fic
Disclaimer: Brokeback Mountain is the creation of Annie Proulx, and no profit is being made off of the sharing of this work. We do this for enjoyment only.
Summary: Ennis is a high-school drop-out giving it a final go. Jack is an enigmatic history teacher. This is a modern-day AU!AU. In this story, POVs are intermingled.
Warnings: The story within contains adult themes, including but not limited to: explicit m/m sex, teacher/student relationships involving the high school level, cursing, and descriptions of violence, including sexual violence. This has been written for fun, but we understand that not everyone may enjoy it.
Authors' Notes: Feedback is so appreciated. All editing and beta-work done by planetgal471.

View All Chapters

This Land is Your Land: Chapter Thirty-Five

"Ready, Ennis?"

Ennis stared into the mirror, then made one last effort to flatten his curls. "I guess."

The drive to the school was mostly filled with silence, K.E. throwing certain statements at Ennis, Ennis answering in monosyllables. Really, Ennis didn't know what was going on. He'd managed to shut everything out when Jack left, and studying had brought a strange kind of relief. Just himself and the books, no need to call upon Alma, no need to chat with K.E. It just seemed to drive the emptiness away, for a while.

Nightmare upon nightmare galloped over Ennis at night, and he was having more broken sleep now then any calving season, ever. It was worse when he awoke from a fragmented dream, only to realize that even worse than the dream was the day's reality: that Jack had left, forever. Only way to shut that out in the dim light of day was to blearily reach for his books again, the page turning and black lines taking Ennis someplace else, someplace just a little more bearable than the situation he was in at the moment.

Pulling up at the school, K.E. awkwardly straightened his jacket, seeming out of place and unsure in unfamiliar territory.

K.E. muttered, "You look like shit. There's Alma over there," and cracked the stiff door open, heaving himself out of the truck. Ennis noted that he didn't even wait for an answer, so sure that Ennis wasn't going to respond. Ennis felt a pang of guilt, making life so hard for his brother. What the hell was wrong with him?

Now, however, this was the end of it all. With the diploma Ennis would be free of school and all it entailed.

* * * *

Just as he expected, Jack had no trouble getting into the graduation ceremony. A few teachers slapped him on the back, and soon he was in the high school gym. He climbed the stairs of the bleachers nearest an exit door so he could make a fast escape without being seen when this was all over, and it put him farthest from the assembly of teachers and administrators waiting to organize the students to file in. He was almost sitting behind the stage on one side, but he didn't really care what kind of view he got as long as he got one. He settled down and sighed, stretched his legs as much as the cramped seating would allow, stiff as they were from the drive. The man in front of him turned to look at the clock high up on the wall behind them--

Jack froze. K.E. had turned back facing forward and didn't appear to have seen him, but of all the fucking seats he could have taken in the entire gym, how the hell had he ended up behind Ennis's brother? Ennis's brother who had seen them, seen what they did together. Jack heard himself swallow hard.

Still, K.E. had never raised a finger against Jack, had fixed Ennis's truck up for the trip to the mountains. That had to mean something.

Ten minutes after the ceremony was supposed to have started, the crowd grew restless. Jack had been to enough graduations to not be surprised, but K.E. turned to glare at the clock again. This time, his eyes caught Jack's.

* * * *

Shifting uncomfortably for the fiftieth time, K.E. wondered why the hell they seemed to make bleachers so small. It had been six years now since he'd done time at Riverton High and damned if he wasn't back again. Wouldn't have come here for a million dollars if it weren't for Ennis.

Moving his ass closer to the front of the hard metal, K.E. happened to glance sideways. Hell if it wasn't old Ms. Woods, still looking like she was about to expire. K.E.'s mind flashed guiltily back at once to two years of high school and numerous detentions, and he instinctively tried to squash his large bulk further into the bleachers, evasively planning to stay out of sight.

Surely they'd be starting proceedings soon, not that he'd been to any sort of graduation ceremony before. K.E. grimaced inwardly to think that he'd been the one to push Ennis into going, now. Could have gotten away with missing it, as Ennis had shown as little interest in the ceremony as he had in anything since he'd returned from the Tetons. It was like living with the walking dead. K.E. had thought it would cheer Ennis up.

The noise of parents and relatives was deafening, with still no sign of order from the stage. Groaning, K.E. turned to look at the clock again. Rate this was going, he'd be here all night. As his gaze turned to flick up at the clock, K.E. caught a familiar face out of the corner of his eye. Frowning, it took a few seconds to place the face and when K.E. did, he got an unfamiliar jolt of trepidation. What the hell was Ennis's...God, K.E. didn't even know what the hell to call him. Wasn't his teacher anymore, friend was a long way off and the term lover brought connotations to K.E.'s mind that would be giving him nightmares for months. Anyways, Ennis had told him that the man had quit, disappeared. How the hell he had ended up behind K.E. in the whole of the damn gym, he couldn't even begin to imagine. K.E. stared blankly at Jack, not knowing what to say.

This was fucking ridiculous, Jack thought, as he gazed into K.E.'s eyes. He mustered a smile for the man that had raised Ennis so well, nodding in greeting. "Hey there."

K.E. managed to nod, returning a feeble answer. "Twist."

Frowning, he turned back to the stage again, wondering just what the hell Jack was doing there. Took a few seconds before it clicked. Surely... surely Jack wasn't there to see Ennis graduate. But as K.E. remembered now the way that Jack had looked upon Ennis back at the ranch, he had to unwillingly concede that probably was just the reason Jack was now here. Goddamn. Was there ever anything more difficult? K.E. was seized with a new fear. Sure enough, Ennis didn't seem to be getting any better since their parting, but that didn't mean it wasn't going to change once he left the school and got a job. What would happen if Ennis saw Jack? K.E. cursed inwardly, a spasm of worry seizing him. He'd put up with Ennis's depression for over four weeks now, and he'd just about had enough. K.E. searched the empty stage, as if miraculously hoping Ennis would appear and grab an invisible diploma, and they could leave at once.

I'm, um..." Jack cleared his throat, not in the least surprised nor taken aback to be talking at K.E.'s back, "How you all doing?"

K.E. half-shrugged, resigned. Part of him had to give Twist credit for his courage. At least he wasn't one of those high-voiced nancy boys that K.E. had unfortunately stumbled into outside of a nightclub in Denver one night. He'd kept the secret, too, the fact that his little brother was having sex with... but K.E. couldn't think on what Ennis had done, not now, not ever. The details made him shrink.

The rows were so close together that K.E., leaning back slightly, almost expected to bump into Jack's knees. He spoke reluctantly, out of the corner of his mouth, with an sudden inner sympathy for this man who'd meant so much to Ennis.

"Gettin' by, I guess. You?"

"Yeah," Jack nodded towards the floor. "Moved to Denver. Got a job with the state parks down there, mostly outdoor work, but still in, you know, education..." Jack's voice trailed off. "I do like being outdoors most days."

"Huh." K.E. paused a long while and then realized he should maybe contribute. "State parks you say?"

"Yup." Jack sighed and looked up, feeling the awkwardness between them and hoping it would ease, but it didn't, so he broke it with more words. "Got an apartment just southeast of Denver, little town called Parker? Just a one-bedroom since it's only me... It's a real nice place, though. Safe, clean. The people seem nice. People are, uh, a little more... liberal down that way."

"Well." K.E. grimaced, desperate to look at the clock again but reluctant to face Jack. He tried not to heave a sigh. When the hell was the damn graduation going to start? "Sounds like you're better off there then in Riverton, I guess. You got any idea when this is going to get underway?"

Jack laughed. "Last few years they always start between fifteen and twenty minutes late at the earliest. Should be any minute now."

K.E. groaned and made a feeble effort to stretch his legs out a bit. "Damn."

"Is he..." Jack felt a persistent tingle between his legs that spread to his hands. He was getting hard just talking about Ennis. God, he missed Ennis so much he couldn't hardly stand it. Jack forced a smile and tried again, but even the subject at hand didn't diminish his hard-on. "I guess they're getting married soon. He's happy?" Jack sincerely could live with his sorry state of rejection and loneliness if it finally brought Ennis the peace the man craved.

K.E. shifted in his seat, casting a cautious glance around at the other families in the gym. The noise was loud and echoing, and no one seemed to be paying the slightest bit of attention. It had been weeks since K.E. started dealing with Ennis's moods, without a soul to talk to about it. He was worried sick, drinking more than he should. His sister would have been able to advise him, but K.E. wasn't going to bother her, not while she had her own wedding plans. He'd sooner shoot himself than confide in his drinking buddies. K.E. felt so bad he'd taken to not answering the phone for fear it was Alma. He wondered again just what had taken place between Ennis and this man, who had single handedly turned their whole world upside down.

K.E. turned, fixing Jack with a direct stare. "Happy? You got a be joking." Lowering his voice, K.E. continued. "He's still says he's marrying her, won't listen to a damn word I say. He's a goddamned wreck, and so am I because of all a this. Happy? Jesus fucking Christ."

Jack's mouth went dry. His eyes were riveted to K.E.'s, and he read the blame there as well as the desperation. Jack felt a flame of indignation rise within him. This situation was Ennis's fault, not his. Ennis was marrying Alma 'cause Ennis wanted to. "Well, I gave him another option and he wouldn't take it," Jack answered, his face set in iron and stone, anger covering all his emotions in a layer of lava-- anger at Ennis, at Alma, at K.E.-- at everyone.

K.E.'s eyes narrowed also in anger, until, remembering where he was, he made an obvious effort to gain control. "You gotta be crazy if you thought he'd take that option," K.E. hissed, clenching his fists in return. "What kind of a way to live is that? Would you want that for your brother? Your son?"

K.E.'s words tipped Jack over the edge. "What the hell is wrong with it? You got a problem with me, maybe we should take it outside." Jack managed to keep his voice to normal levels, though it held a menacing edge. "And for the record, yeah, you're damn right I'd rather see my loved ones live happy than sad." He stared K.E. down. "Wondered where the fuck Ennis got his stupid ideas of what's possible and what's not. I though it came from some guy in a ditch, but I guess that wasn't the only place, huh?"

K.E. had just about had enough. Stuff the damn graduation. Heaving his bulk off the bleacher, he jerked his head in the direction of the entrance, glaring at Jack. 'Takin' it outside sounds good to me. In fact, I'd like nothing better. Just thought of a couple a things I'd like to say to you," he stated menacingly.

Jack was filled with sadness and misgiving at K.E.'s reaction. This had all gone downhill fast. But maybe it didn't have to come to blows just yet. Maybe they could talk this over like adults. Jack hated the way they were snarling like animals fighting over a piece of meat. The truth was that Ennis should really have the final say, but Ennis had chosen against Jack, so he wasn't too content with that idea. Still, what could he do? He hadn't come here to win Ennis back, but he didn't come to be blamed for Ennis's lot in life either. The nearby exit door flew open and the cool spring air rushed against Jack's face as he followed K.E. away from the gym.

K.E. turned to Jack once they were out of the building and in relative privacy. "Look here. I don't want to fight with you, and it's not just because a Ennis. Ain't the sort to make grievances out of nothing. But Ennis ain't the same since this all started. And you're his teacher, goddamnit. Ain't that meant to count for something?" K.E. planted hands on his hips, awaiting Jack's answer.

Jack was mirroring K.E., also standing with his hands on his hips. He frowned, his lower lip sticking out the way it did, and nodded towards the ground. K.E.'s words struck way too close to home. Jack could think of no way to say he was sorry that wasn't both inadequate on the one hand and untrue on the other. He settled instead on the simple truth. "I didn't come here to start anything. I just wanted to make sure I hadn't fucked up his life too bad. Make sure he got that diploma." Jack was watching the concrete under their feet. "Wasn't even planning on being seen. I can leave now, go back to Denver," Jack looked up at K.E., "if you like."

K.E. sighed at this, his anger evaporating at Jack's words. "You weren't planning on being seen? I thought... I don't know what I thought. All I know is what Ennis's been going through. And before the Tetons. Huh." K.E. shook his head. "Never seen him so happy. Now? He can't eat, can't sleep. God knows he won't listen to me. He's got that diploma but he's not too good otherwise."

Jack knew the feeling, had been feeling not himself though he'd had a new job to distract him and had managed to keep it together since moving out of Lureen's. "I am sorry about that, but there isn't anything I can do. I got terms and Ennis has terms and I don't think either of us is going to bend." Even as he said the words, Jack wondered if it would be so bad being Ennis's extramarital secret. He talked a big game, but in his heart he wasn't so sure. Now that he put it this way, realizing that nothing would ever bend from Ennis's end, he wondered if he should leave his own hopes behind after all. But K.E. was mad about the teacher shit, and he had a point there. None of this should have ever happened. Either way, Jack had this new job now. He sighed and rubbed a hand against his forehead.

"Hey." K.E., despite himself, moved forward, putting his hand on Jack's shoulder, moved at the man's obvious despair, his desolation a mirror image of Ennis. "I'm sorry. Can I ask you something? Ennis's got it into his head about applying for college. Did you have something to do with that?"

Jack moved a his hand away from his brow, squinting across at K.E. "Did he apply? I know of this scholarship... Ennis is a shoe-in I swear, and I went to college with a guy on the board. I'm pretty sure I could, you know, if he needs a scholarship..." Jack had checked it out in the weeks since he'd left Riverton, not asking himself too deeply just why.

K.E. frowned slightly. "Where abouts is it? Not in Riverton, I guess. But if it gets him away from Alma... hell." Shaking his head, K.E. looked off into the distance. "If it's what Ennis wants to do, I'm not going to hold him back. You give me the details, I'll let him know."

"It's, uh, you can use it at any college..." Jack fished in his pocket and came back with a piece of paper. "Do you have a pen?"

"Sure." K.E. took down the details quietly, watching Jack out of the corner of his eye. The man seemed serious, and solemn, a total contrast in point to the figure who had shaken his hand so exuberantly eight months ago. K.E. remembered against his will the way Jack's gaze had always seemed to return to Ennis. K.E. still couldn't believe he'd missed what those looks had meant. Maybe because he'd never felt that way himself. It was one fucked up situation, all round. "Guess we best go in then or you'll miss Ennis. Uh...the graduation, I mean."

This Land is Your Land: Chapter Thirty-Four

Fri, 07 Mar 2008 06:04:00 GMT

This Land is Your Land - Chapter Thirty-Four
Authors: lolitaray (Ennis) and planetgal471(Jack)
Rating: NC17 on/off through the fic
Disclaimer: Brokeback Mountain is the creation of Annie Proulx, and no profit is being made off of the sharing of this work. We do this for enjoyment only.
Summary: Ennis is a high-school drop-out giving it a final go. Jack is an enigmatic history teacher. This is a modern-day AU!AU. In this story, POVs are intermingled. Hopefully this is not too confusing to the readers.
Warnings: The story within contains adult themes, including but not limited to: explicit m/m sex, teacher/student relationships involving the high school level, cursing, and descriptions of violence, including sexual violence. This has been written for fun, but we understand that not everyone may enjoy it.
Authors' Notes: Feedback is so appreciated.

View All Chapters

Alma pushed her fork around on the plate a trifle pointedly. Ennis looked up, frowning.

"Everything all right, Alma?"

"Fine." Apart from the fact that the only conversation in the last half hour had been K.E.'s bar tales, which really, Alma had no interest in at all, it was true.

"K.E.'s cooking's pretty good, isn't it?"

"Ye-es."

Alma could see Ennis was trying to make an effort and her heart melted. He looked so sweet tonight, although maybe he could have thought to shave before dinner. Still, that new cream shirt that Alma had gotten him for Christmas really blended with those umber eyes and honey-hair. Alma softened a little bit inside, just watching him. And soon he'd be hers, for better or for worse. Maybe there would be some worse, but at least she'd have him. And the better would make up for it all. Alma had no doubts on that.

"So the wedding's only a couple of weeks away," K.E. interjected. Alma noted the dismal tone of his voice. Well, he'd be missing Ennis, no doubt, and the extra work that Ennis did. Life moved on, however.

"Yes," Alma smiled, reaching out for Ennis's hand as she always did. It was a natural kind of instinct, to know that he was there. And now, they were about to get married. Alma still couldn't quite believe it, herself. After the last few months, she had noticed she was seeing Ennis less, and she felt some irrational fear inside that he would break the engagement. Now though, she knew she had nothing to worry about. Ennis was loyal to a fault, and she should have known that he could never have done that to her. Alma had been worrying late at night and she'd finally confided in her Momma who'd given her some much needed reassurance. Alma smiled up at Ennis. "And graduation night is tomorrow night, can you believe it? That's a cause for celebration."

Ennis shrugged almost listlessly and K.E. stood and brought him another beer, determinedly ignoring Alma's frown. "Not that kind of a celebration, K.E. Ennis has had enough already."

K.E. snorted. "Don't you worry none about Ennis and drink. Go on Ennis, you're not married yet."

Alma subsided, noticing Ennis barely react to her protests, calmly having a sip of beer as though he hadn't even heard the conversation. He really wasn't himself lately, she reflected then. Lord, she hoped he wasn't coming down with the flu right before the wedding or some such thing. He was almost like the zombies in the horror movie she'd asked him to take her to the other night. Alma loved horrors. Nothing like clutching onto Ennis's hand, knowing that it wasn't really real, but pretending all the same to be scared.

"So. I've been thinking." K.E. pressed both hands down on the table. Alma noticed that he looked nervous, which was strange for K.E. "You know that you both don't have much in the way of money. So...what do you both think 'bout if I converted the barn - made say, a house for you both? Then the two of you won't have to pay rent and it's not that far a drive if Ennis gets work somewhere."

Both Ennis and Alma stared at K.E., their mouths open for a long second.

Alma spoke first. "Sure, an' that's nice of you K.E., but we need to be in town. I mean, it's real dangerous driving out here in winter, and Ennis will get a better chance of a proper job in town. I don't want him doing anymore ranch work. Seeing as we want to start a family real soon, it just wouldn't suit."

"What did you say, Ennis?" K.E. said, frowning as Ennis mumbled something under his breath.

"I...uh...was thinking on applying to college."

Alma blinked and started to speak but K.E. beat her to it. "You're kidding, little brother! Never had a college graduate in the family before, but how would you manage that?"

"I probably wouldn't get in, but I thought, no harm in trying. But...I guess it probably wouldn't come to pass."

"Well." Alma felt at a loss for words. What was Ennis thinking? She'd had no idea he was dreaming so big. However, he'd settle back down to reality once a baby showed up, no doubt. Alma was longing to be a momma. And Ennis's children would be utterly adorable. He'd be the best father; you only had to see how sweet he was with her friend's baby. Alma smiled, then snapped back to reality as she saw Ennis watching her, his expression inscrutable and almost blank. As if he wasn't even really seeing her. Alma frowned and thought hard. "I guess there's no harm in applying, as you say," she said mildly. Once Ennis got a bit of proper money from work, not like the pocket change K.E. gave when he could afford it, he'd soon see her point.

Meanwhile, K.E. was trying his best not to glare at her, Alma could see. Maybe he was happy to have the single life and live in a beaten down shack but that didn't mean that Alma had to put up with it. She'd had already been looking at places to live. There was a lovely little flat over the town laundromat. She had plans to fix it up so nice that Ennis would think he was in heaven after the ranch. It would all work out so well.

"So, what made you think on applying to college?" Alma could hear the curious note in K.E.'s voice and she had to admit, she was wondering as well. Wasn't like Ennis to aim so high, to be truthful. It was one of the things Alma loved about him, the fact that his feet were firmly planted on the ground.

Ennis seemed uncomfortable, pushing his plate away and having another drink of beer. Alma had been thrilled to find out he'd given up smoking before they'd gotten married. She sure had landed a fine man.

"Uh..." Ennis seemed reluctant to speak. "Guess I always wanted to do it, but never thought it was possible. Still don't know if it is, but someone I knew said--" Scraping back his chair, Ennis stood up abruptly. "Just remembered I forgot to shut the barn door."

Alma and K.E. were left staring at each other awkwardly. Alma eventually picked up her bag and coat, waiting for Ennis. He returned after about ten minutes and she said her goodbyes. He was quiet on the way home as always and Alma was content. She guess it seemed fine, but there was something about him that Alma just couldn't quite put her finger on.

* * * *

K.E. paced the short distance of the living room, awaiting Ennis's return. Once he heard the thin door creak open he was onto Ennis, ready.

"What in goddamn hell is wrong with you, Ennis?"

"Huh?" Ennis had the audacity to look confused, K.E. noted.

"Well if I thought it was a crazy idea for you to marry that little gal before, damn Ennis! She's going to walk all over you, if you let her."

Ennis moved over and sat on one of the armchairs, biting at a hangnail. "Don't rightly care, I guess."

"No, you don't, and that's another reason I think you've gone plumb out of your mind."

Ennis shrugged. "Whatever."

"C'mon, Ennis." K.E. moved closer. "I'm real worried about you. Do you want to move into town? Do you want to apply to college? We don't hardly talk lately, not since you got back from the Tetons..." He trailed off as a hidden pain came into Ennis's eyes.

"Yeah. I want to apply to college." Ennis was holding onto that thought as tight as he dared. It was, after all, one of the last things he had of Jack. "And moving into town? I'd rather stay on the ranch but if it keeps Alma happy..."

"Alma happy? What about you? And from what I see, Alma's surely looking after herself in keeping Alma happy. Who's keeping you happy?"

"Nobody," Ennis muttered, then continued so low K.E. could barely hear him. "Anymore."

"Well, I'm so worried about you, I can hardly sleep at night, goddamn it all to hell." K.E. worked a hand through his hair.

"'M fine."

"What...what happened, Ennis? You seemed to be, well. It was all going as...well, as well as you wanted, didn't it? With er…with…that man?" K.E. almost seemed to curl in on himself at the mention of Jack but pressed on, regardless.

"He left."

"Really? The man's got more sense than I gave him credit for. Well, you'll have to move on, Ennis. People talk in this town and I know it's hard but--"

"He left because I wouldn't have a life with him."

"What the hell? What is he, some kind a dreamer?" K.E. looked baffled, his mouth dropping open at the thought of Ennis and his teacher, making a go of it.

Ennis snorted a bit, then found himself giving a small smile, his eyes softening as the corners of his mouth turned up in memory. "I guess he is."

The wind was taken out of K.E.'s sails and he sat a minute, trying to work out which angle to take. "I'm...I'm real sorry, Ennis."

"Yeah."

"Doesn't mean you got a stick this out with Alma, though."

"I don't rightly care." Ennis stared passively at the blank television set.

"Well, you should. Ennis--" K.E.'s tone was low and hushed, "You do know this could never have been. Not with him, I mean-- not that way."

Ennis finally looked up at K.E. "Y'know, what if someone said they'd be able to bring Momma and Daddy back. Would you risk it?"

"That's just crazy talk now, Ennis, and you know it." K.E. eyeballed Ennis like he needed to be locked up in some asylum.

"You think?" Ennis sighed then. "Been having lots of them thoughts lately, K.E. Maybe I am crazy."

K.E. sighed, standing. "This is driving me nuts, I can tell you that straight up. Seems like since that man came into your life, you've lost your goddamned mind. And you're getting worse since he's gone, not better. Jesus." K.E. swiped his hat off the stand. "I'm going into town to have a drink. Want to come or is it a waste a time?"

"Waste a time."

Shaking his head, K.E. grabbed his coat. "Your choice, then. But he wouldn't want you like this, Ennis. Can't imagine that."

* * * *

He came to the decision that he had to do it. He couldn't think on a particular moment when the decision had come to him, though. It was more of a slow realization that he was going to do it either way, so it's be better to admit it and plan in advance. He'd just drive up in one day, go to the graduation, and drive back. He needed to see Ennis graduate, needed to see him walk the stage and to know that he hadn't fucked Ennis's life over, that everything would be ok for Ennis one way or another. He couldn't look Ennis up easily without it seeming suspicious to Alma or anyone else, but he'd taught in that school for years, taught those students, and going to that graduation shouldn't look unusual. He didn't have to be seen by Ennis-- wouldn't be seen by Ennis. Just go, hide behind the crowds, watch, and leave. Of course, he needed a ticket to get in, but he knew all the teachers and administrators, so he didn't think that'd be a real problem. Before Jack knew it he was on the road, streaming north between cattle fields, glimpsing the pronghorns as white dots in green fields. He knew that seeing Ennis at all would hurt like fuck, but he hoped to heaven that just maybe it would also help him to move on.

This Land is Your Land: Chapter Thirty-Three

Fri, 29 Feb 2008 08:41:33 GMT

This Land is Your Land - Chapter Thirty-Three
Authors: lolitaray (Ennis) and planetgal471(Jack)
Rating: NC17 on/off through the fic
Disclaimer: Brokeback Mountain is the creation of Annie Proulx, and no profit is being made off of the sharing of this work. We do this for enjoyment only.
Summary: Ennis is a high-school drop-out giving it a final go. Jack is an enigmatic history teacher. This is a modern-day AU!AU. In this story, POVs are intermingled. Hopefully this is not too confusing to the readers.
Warnings: The story within contains adult themes, including but not limited to: explicit m/m sex, teacher/student relationships involving the high school level, cursing, and descriptions of violence, including sexual violence. This has been written for fun, but we understand that not everyone may enjoy it.
Authors' Notes: Feedback is so appreciated.

View All Chapters

"Good to have you home, Ennis. You going to tell me 'bout it? Bet that truck went like nothing on Earth, bet ya--"

Ennis paused at the door's entrance, staring dully at his brother. He watched K.E.'s eyes crinkle in confusion, then sudden understanding. Ennis let his bag of clothes drop on the floor, and without saying a word, walked to the bathroom.

Underneath the light stream of hot water, he shut his eyes, both hands pressed against the tiles, deliberately making his mind a blank, soaring white past any dangerous thoughts, on what he'd lost. The water was running to cold when he finally stepped out, dragging on loose flannel pants and a thin T-shirt. The night was warm, for mid-April and reminded Ennis that a year had almost come full circle. He felt bad listening to the silence out in the living room. K.E. had obviously turned off the television and was waiting to see what the hell was going on.

But Ennis couldn't bring himself to talk on it. For one, he was utterly bone-weary, exhausted. And for the other, he was desperate to wipe the image of Jack's pained, set face out of his head. If he didn't talk, the situation might be changed in the morning. Fool would come 'round, realize that he still wanted Ennis. Ennis allowed himself to hope slightly, crawling into his narrow bed.

* * * *

"Jack! Don't do it! Please Jack-- please don't--"

"Ennis, goddamn it, wake the fuck up--shit!"

Ennis awoke in a panic, struggling hard as he found himself unable to move. Coming back to his senses, he realized K.E. was leaning heavily across him, panting.

"Let go!" Ennis managed to pull away, heart beating frantically.

"Sorry, you tried to punch me, shouting out like you were being murdered, Christ, Ennis!" K.E. sat on the bed, large hands still half trying to press Ennis against the bed. Ennis twisted fiercely, pressing his face against the pillow, only then noticing the drenched wet cotton.

"Just a nightmare," he managed to mumble, stifling back a sob. But it wasn't.

"Ennis...c'mon, 's all right," K.E.'s hand stroked a shoulder awkwardly, his brother obviously at a loss.

"'S not all right. Nothing's all right."

"Fuck. What happened?"

"Jack, stubborn son of a bitch--ahh, fuck." Ennis felt the desperate monster that had been clawing in his chest escape. Gripping the sheets, he cursed his weakness as the tears finally escaped, pounding a fist into the pillow. K.E.'s hand covered his shoulder, then back, stroking him like a horse. Oddly soothed, Ennis finally felt his sobs subside.

"I'm sorry, little brother. You ok now?" Ennis managed to nod and K.E. eventually got off the bed, leaving the room.

"You still look like shit." An hour later, K.E. looked up as Ennis came out from the kitchen with some black coffee. "Need to take the day off?"

Sitting next to K.E., Ennis stared down at the black liquid for a long moment. "No. I'm fine." Some part of him was actually looking forward to History. He'd see Jack, then, and maybe the last day would be like some kind of a dream. Jack would come to his senses.

Ennis stood, moving by rote as he collected his gear. "See you after school," he muttered. K.E. merely nodded in silence.

* * * *

"Then this one." Jack passed the signed form across the desk to Aguirre.

The corpulent man made a grunting noise, nodded, and set it into a pile. "You left me in a heap a shit, Twist. Shoulda known to expect as much from you."

Jack shook his head. "Is that it?"

"Yeah, and good riddance."

"When will I get my last paycheck?" Jack asked.

"How the hell do I know? Check with Greta."

Jack nodded again and stood to leave Aguirre's office.

"One more thing, Twist. Were you fucking that boy? The dropout?" Aguirre's eyes were menacing, icy with blame.

"No sir."

"I can't prove it, but I know you are, aren't ya? Between you and me-- I'm not your boss any more, you can be honest."

"In that case," Jack started carefully "If I was, I sure as hell wouldn't tell a fat bastard like you."

Jack slammed the door behind him for the very last time.

* * * *

Laura Matthews peered across the group of students. It was her first job out of college, and she didn't know shit about history. "I'm so sorry. It turned out your teacher had to leave this job, so he won't be back. I'm subbing for the rest of the year. I actually majored in English, but I'll do my very best to keep ahead of you in the book and talk to the other history teachers. Uh, where were you? Like, the Civil War or something?" She shuffled through the left-behind notes, seeing words she didn't know, and sighed in frustration. "Can you guys just tell me what you were learning about?"

Asking the question was a mistake. It invited a chorus of opinions from the audience. Laura chewed on her pencil and giggled nervously as the students fought over what they'd learned. Nothing made any sense. They didn't even know whether they'd finished the Civil War! She groaned and tried to shout over their million chatting voices that they were going to zoom straight to the unit on industrialization and labor, but no one seemed to be listening to her. She threw her pencil down in frustration. "No wonder your old teacher quit," she sighed.

* * * *

Ennis stared in shock at the blond young teacher up the front where Jack usually stood. A dull pain wracked his insides.

"Oh that really blows. Ennis?"

Ennis started as Chuck dug an elbow into his ribs. "Huh?"

"I wonder where Mr. Twist went. This teacher knows nothing."

"Yeah." Ennis bent his head over his books. He picked up a pen to try and write, but his hand was shaking too much. A couple of deep breaths helped. Ennis made an effort to focus, hardly hearing the rest of the lesson. Questions burned into his head, and he was helpless not to think on the answers.

So it went for the next six weeks. Looking back, Ennis found it hard to really remember any of it. Like looking through a void. His suit for the wedding was hired, the wedding cake baked by Alma's old Auntie Betty. The visits to Alma continued as normal. Sometimes Ennis thought Alma must know what was going on, but she never said a word. A continuation of their separate ways, words spoken on the outside that never gave a damn hint of what was stored away in his heart. His secret thing. His Jack.

* * * *

A middle-age admin assistant with flat blonde hair, named Joy, and her silent husband, salesman Todd, moved in on a Thursday. Joy was expecting. Jack turned his keys over to them, and stayed one night at a motel so he would have a fresh start in the morning. He'd included most of his furniture in the deal, just needing to get away from there as quickly as possible. Like a man wounded in a war, he was still in shock, closed-in, unsteady. He needed his best friend and she was happy to take him in, so without much notice, he drove out across the dry ground towards the Great Salt Lake and Lureen, with all his personal belongings crammed into his small car.

Jack parked illegally on the city street in front of Lureen's building and found his way up to her floor. Lureen threw her arms around him like they'd never been parted, and Jack buried himself in her familiar scent. For a moment he thought it would be easiest if he just did marry her. So what if there wouldn't be much sex? She was always the one who was there for him, and both of them were fuck-ups when it came to life. He sighed into her neck.

"It's ok, sweetie. He doesn't deserve you."

Unexpected, and after holding it together all this while, Jack felt his lower lip turn down. He pulled her close and tried his damnedest not to cry into her shoulder like a little boy, even as she ran a finger through his hair and murmured to him like his momma never had. "Oh, sweetie."

He sniffled hard and pulled away. "'M alright."

"Don't lie."

Jack laughed. "Help me get my crap in."

They moved him in that very night. Lureen didn't have a spare bedroom, so Jack took up temporary residence on the couch, stowing his stuff in the dining area of her urban apartment. He couldn't live like this long, so he set about job searching the next day, not even a full week since he'd left his last job.

So began endless hours huddled over computer screens, which only yielded headaches and sighs for a good month. Jack sent out a few applications here and there, jobs he would have killed to have in the past, but he put no effort into it. He didn't feel like it mattered, and, anyway, he wasn't sure he could see himself teaching any more. Standing in front of a room of students-- he'd ruined that career for himself. Ennis would haunt him in every classroom he ever paced. He wished he could find a job more outdoors than that, with the blue sky overhead...

On a whim, Jack changed his search terms...

* * * *

He was moving to Colorado only two weeks later, to the Denver bedroom community of Parker, into a stone-trimmed apartment complex called Trailside. Lureen couldn't drive out there with him 'cause she had to work, but he hadn't driven with her to Salt Lake, so it was fine. And besides, she'd found a man. He was happy for her, or tried to be, but he wasn't good at sneaking much past her. She wasn't jealous of him, but he of her, for not being alone any more. Misery, he knew, so adored company, and Jack was the worst kind of lonely.

The apartment was a pretty damned small one bedroom, but it was affordable and he'd be making ok money. He didn't want the hassle of dealing with roommates, anyway. The complex, though, was swank, with a swimming pool and hot tub. He visited the exercise room his first week there, long enough to know he sure as hell was not the only gay man living in this place. A tall, frosty-blue-eyed man with a shy smile was glancing his way from the free weights, but Jack couldn't take it and had to leave. He didn't know if now was just too soon, or if everyone was always going to be too not-Ennis, but the thought of either was heartbreaking.

Ennis followed him everywhere, went with him always even in their current, disjointed state. In traffic, Jack turned up the radio and imagined that Ennis would hate this song. He passed a truck the same make, model, and color as Ennis's and paused to take in the license plate before moving on his way. Once, in the grocery store, he found himself staring unseeing at shelves of look-alike peanut butter. He didn't even know if Ennis preferred smooth or chunky. But it didn't matter 'cause he wasn't ever going to be buying peanut butter for Ennis. Still, he picked up a jar and tossed it into his cart, allowing himself to pretend for a moment that it was Ennis, and not no one, he was bringing it home to.

The worst part, though, was not being able to tell Ennis about his new job. He talked to Lureen about it on the phone, but that wasn't the same. Lureen was around less and less these days as Jeff began to fill up her free time.

He was the co-coordinator for volunteers for the northwest part of Colorado's Natural Parks. What that meant was, he assisted the coordinator with running all the volunteer programs in one quarter of the state. He'd thought they must have been desperate to hire out of state and someone who knew shit about wildlife, but Barbara Moon, the main coordinator, had shared with Jack that everyone at the DNR knew about wildlife or ecology or forestry-- having a history person on board, especially someone who knew so much about the West, was a real asset. They added more history programs to their scheduling, and lord knew Jack had experience with public speaking and diverse crowds, not to mention managing teenagers-- which a large number of their summer volunteers-- college students-- were going to be. Plus, he got to go to a good number of the programs, be outside plenty, put more miles on his old junker than she could handle, and bring his boots back dirty to his nice apartment every evening. He was going to have to buy a truck or something, but he couldn't afford it just yet, so he was putting it off. Working was good for Jack. It kept his mind off things, made a blur out of the passage of days, and he was making friends with all his co-workers.

One night, Jack squinted up at the calendar with weary eyes, trying to figure how long before the end of school and their fresh-out-of-high-school volunteers came on for the summer. It was, what, one week 'til graduation would have been in Riverton, so locally...

Jack stopped his thoughts, staring at the calendar. He'd been so strong, he knew. He hadn't cried except almost, that once, in Lureen's arms, but even then he had held back. He'd locked all of that up and been just fine because he was a grown man, and there wasn't any other choice.

But the with sudden realization that Ennis's graduation and-- god!-- marriage-- were imminent, Jack's face contorted and red-hot tears spring to his eyes. He wished that he could shout and scream, scream all those angry words at Ennis that he'd held so deep inside that last time they'd parted. Jack had so much angry. He howled and punched at his kitchen island, not feeling any pain. He scraped the tears away from his eyes and glanced around the kitchen as if seeing it for the first time. This was his place, the place where he lived, a place Ennis had never seen, had never known, didn't have the address of and never would. Never, never, so many nevers.

Jack called in sick for the first time the following day, holding back waves of vomit just long enough to do so. It wasn't only a hangover, or just a broken heart, but some sickening combination that kept him under the covers and inside a bottle all day long.

This Land is Your Land: Chapter Thirty-Two

Thu, 28 Feb 2008 11:43:03 GMT

This Land is Your Land - Chapter Thirty-Two
Authors: lolitaray (Ennis) and planetgal471(Jack)
Rating: NC17 on/off through the fic
Disclaimer: Brokeback Mountain is the creation of Annie Proulx, and no profit is being made off of the sharing of this work. We do this for enjoyment only.
Summary: Ennis is a high-school drop-out giving it a final go. Jack is an enigmatic history teacher. This is a modern-day AU!AU. In this story, POVs are intermingled. Hopefully this is not too confusing to the readers.
Warnings: The story within contains adult themes, including but not limited to: explicit m/m sex, teacher/student relationships involving the high school level, cursing, and descriptions of violence, including sexual violence. This has been written for fun, but we understand that not everyone may enjoy it.
Authors' Notes: Feedback is so appreciated.

View All Chapters

Jack watched, heavy with the end of something, as the old man drove the horses and trailer away. He'd never see them again, that was certain. One blissful week they'd shared in the mountains with those beasts, but the horses had just been doing their job, and now their job led them elsewhere.

Jack sighed and peered into the cab. He hung from the open passenger door with unease, not wanting to get in. Home only led towards more time apart, until they made it to Ennis's graduation, anyway. But then, wouldn't Ennis's graduation just bring even more time apart, if he went on to college? Maybe Jack could move, find a job where Ennis went to school. He had to go to college, though Jack knew Ennis didn't believe in himself enough to put stock in that future.

Jack squinted up to where Ennis was idly stalling, running a thumb back and forth over the trim of the truck. "You want me to help you find some scholarships for college? I'd be happy to. You could go to the place of your choice, maybe even without any loans, since your folks are gone."

"You think?" Ennis looked up. The monotony of playing with the truck's trim had been oddly soothing. The last thing Ennis felt like doing was discussing college plans. More of a concern was just when the next meet-up could occur. It was getting harder and harder to walk away from Jack every time, and that made him mighty uneasy He'd just never seen himself as a college graduate. Ennis knew what happened when you tried to aim for the skies. Just graduating from high school had seemed a thing out of his reach, barely a year earlier.

Jack seemed pretty concerned about it, though, so Ennis tried to think about college. "Well--" Ennis stalled, thinking on options. "No harm in applying I guess. Except...any studying I'll do would have to be nights. Can't make a living with just Alma's money."

Jack laughed. He thought it was a joke. Or maybe Ennis was just fishing for whether Jack would be willing to support him? "I mean, you... Well... I mean, hell, I don't make much, so you'd need a job, sure, but not anything full time, I don't think. Depending where you want to go, we could find someplace pretty cheap to live, I bet. We wouldn't need more'n one bedroom."

Ennis shoved Jack on the shoulder, not sure what he was trying to say. "One bedroom? What in hell are you talking about?" There was a cold suddenly in the pit of Ennis's stomach, like winter had decided to sweep over the day, without his knowledge or consent. "I can't move away from Riverton, Jack."

"Well there..." Jack swallowed hard around the lump forming in his throat. "There just isn't any colleges here, and besides, I'm gonna quit my job at the end of the year. I thought we decided about this." Jack racked his head, wanting to give Ennis words to prove they'd decided, but unable to recall any. "I mean, you... you got to have some plans after graduation, don't you?"

Ennis kicked at the ground, odd thoughts occurring. Seemed like he’d spent most of his life, staring at the earth. Dry, dust-kicked whorls, patterns coiling, scuffed with the toe of his worn boot.

And if Jack quit his job, where the hell would he work? That would mean he would have to move and...and then what? Ennis would see him even less. Ennis felt a surge of anger now, torn and confused at just what Jack was trying to pull out of him.

"Hell, yes, I got some plans after graduation! I got to move out of the ranch sometime, get myself a job." Ennis had been worrying for a while now about how K.E. would cope without him, but the wheel was in motion, and it couldn't be helped. At least K.E. was expecting it, and could look after himself. "And why are you going to quit your job?" Ennis suddenly asked, still unsure of what Jack was trying to do.

Jack sensed that Ennis playing stupid, that something was off here. A curse word snaked out of his mouth. The answer to Ennis's question was as plain as the sun in the sky. His anger moved him of its own accord and he slammed the open truck door, stalking away a few steps. He turned to pin Ennis, standing there all innocent-like, in an accusatory gaze.

"The fuck. You want to know why the fuck I am quitting my job? How about I want to quit my job so I can fuck you into next week every fucking night if I want to, Ennis. We can get a little place somewhere, buy fucking groceries and pizza and beer and ride horses and drive around together in our fucking cars without having to be fucking terrified of every shit little doorknob and footstep!"

Ennis's mouth dropped open. He quickly looked around, relieved to see nothing but the sharp rise of the mountains behind them, the soothing outlines of pines. And there was Jack, who Ennis had never seen quite so agitated, pacing up and down, glaring at Ennis in between shaking his head.

Ennis moved closer, trying to be conciliatory, putting a hand on Jack's arm. "C'mon, Jack. You know it can't be like that. Sooner or later people will know what the hell's going on. It ain't worth the risk. I told you--" Ennis broke off as Jack jerked his arm away. "I don't want to end up-- c'mon Jack. We can still see each other a heap. And you know you don't want a quit; you're a good teacher."

Jack had broken free of Ennis's grip with a violent twist. He spoke the words that came to his mind, not loud, but soft and final. "Fuck you."

When Ennis turned away, Jack found his words bubbling up, his need to be heard coming on strong. All this time, he'd been listening to Ennis's fears, caring for Ennis's needs. Maybe it was because he was older, though he didn't think so, but Ennis had been expecting him to just be ok, to just hold himself up by some miracle. He couldn't take it any more.

"Ennis," Jack's voice was quiet, the fight gone. "I'm not you. I can't... I can't make it on a couple of high altitude fucks once or twice a year. I can't live my life like that. I won't. You can tell me that living together's gonna get me killed, but living apart's just killing me a different way... Ennis, I cannot accept what it is you're offering me."

"Well, fuck you!" Ennis was stung by Jack's words. "I never said...I never lied--" Ennis broke off, trying to remember what the hell he'd done or said. "You knew I'm going to marry Alma, Jack. That way of life-- I won't do it. You know that I...I do love what we--" Ennis blinked, trying not to show emotion. "Goddammit to hell, why you got to do this, Jack?"

Jack turned to face the Tetons where they climbed towards the sky, hinting at so many possibilities, but delivering none without a tough climb through glacial heights. He placed his hands on his hips and breathed in a deep lungful of the mountain air. The world was turning from white to black, on to off, alive to dead, before his eyes on this patch of gravel and weedy grass where they stood. The plants and animals were none the wiser and life would continue on for them, but for him...

Jack croaked, throat tight, "Ennis, we could have a good life, a fuckin' real good life. Why don't you want it?" He pulled the compass out of his pocket, where he'd kept it all this trip. It pointed north as ever, but that was just a compass direction. It had never been anything more than a compass. He stood in silence, watching the needle steady while his hand shook.

Ennis stared blindly at Jack's back, trying to work out what to say. How could Jack not understand.

"I do want it," Ennis yelled, surprised by the break in his voice. "Can't you fucking see it's the rest of the world that doesn't? And we live in that goddamned world, Jack." Ennis's hands clenched into fists as he backed away a pace, unable to make his point any clearer. "You're the one letting it go, not me. I've never had anything, done anything like this. If I hadn't met you, well--" Ennis couldn't prevent it all blurting out, "There's no way I'd ever be with a man. Never." Ennis turned then, starting to walk back to the truck, muttering under his breath. "Crazy dumb-ass fucker."

Jack turned back to the mountains, feeling that the open space, the sheer rock and emptiness, understood him better than anyone ever would. He'd heard Ennis's words, all of them.

"Some days, I wish I'd never met you."

Ennis paused, turning slow like a snake ready to strike, glaring at Jack out of narrowed eyes.

"You wish you'd never met me, huh? Well, just how do you think I feel? You're queer, Jack." Ennis snorted, thoughts of jealousy from months ago churning up now, unasked for. "Been with God knows how many men before me. And you're my goddamned teacher! Because a you, my whole life is fucked up! Jesus." Ennis shook his head, swinging around and trying to open the pick-up's door, almost hanging off it as a wave of sickness washed over him. He could hear Jack's footsteps crunching on the gravel behind him, but he couldn't look around, not now.

"I wish to God I could quit you," Ennis muttered, fighting the waves of nausea, the whole world tumbling about him. "I wish to God you'd just let me be."

Jack had been there the hour his grandmother had died. She'd passed in his own bed. He'd been moved to the couch while she needed her son and daughter-in-law's care, her husband passed two years before her. She'd been speaking to ghosts for days. Jack had stood and watched the moment she silently slipped from life to death, the room unchanged. He'd waved a fly away from his face as his mom had told him to go be a good boy and call the undertaker. He'd left the room and done as she said. That had been an expected death, but he guessed all deaths have got to be treated the same: you just have to put one foot in front of the other and keep going on with your day, or else what other choice is there?

He'd never expected, though, to witness his own death. Jack passed all thresholds of anger and heartache so quickly he felt nearly no pain, arriving at a place of painless, numb whiteness in which he was simply alone, had always been alone, and would always be alone. It was a place he'd known often in his youth, when his dad had whipped him with a switch or rod. Never felt so much pain again until now, but his painless, white place was waiting for him still. Jack turned and opened the car door with even movements. He sat in the passenger seat and waited for Ennis to start the car. He had laundry to do, and a lot of paperwork, applications, a rental, had to probably sublet until his lease was up. Jack busied himself on the long, deathly-silent drive home by making a to-do list in his head.

Ennis drove in silence, determinedly not looking at Jack. He resolutely ignored the pangs of guilt at Jack's unnatural silence. What the hell was Jack trying to prove? Jack knew from the start that Ennis wasn't willing to end up that way. Jack may have been 'out,' but Ennis knew as sure as hell he wasn't going to be marching in no gay parade, having people make comments about him in the shops. Only a matter of time before talk would spread and...Ennis swallowed thickly, biting down on his inner lip.

Goddamn Jack, the fucker. He was the one who was quitting Ennis, for all that. At least Ennis was offering some kind of alternative. God knew, he'd tried to stop what they had, with no luck. But obviously Jack didn't have that problem. Ennis's hands clenched on the wheel. Maybe it was because Jack was gay. The thought of having it off with another man left Ennis cold, and a part of his mind still believed it was because he wasn't gay. If you were gay, you liked men, right? And he certainly didn't like men. So--maybe Jack would have no problem moving on. Certainly looked like that.

Ennis fought a growl at the image of Jack with another man. Spying a gas station, he pulled over, filling up the truck and going in without a word. Jack just sat, unspeaking. Buying a packet of cigarettes, Ennis returned. But the first drag left a foul taste on his tongue, a burn tinging the pits of his lungs, so he couldn't continue. Ennis swore, throwing the lit cigarette and nearly full packet out of the window as he drove off.

Part of him wanted to turn and yell at Jack, provoke some little kind of reaction, so the man could see what a damn fool he was being. But the words wouldn't come, and Ennis knew without doubt they'd never see eye to eye on this one. Jack just wouldn't understand it.

* * * *

Another hour later and Ennis was pulling up outside the apartment block. Jack opened his door without speaking, and Ennis, starting to get really riled up, walked around to the back of the truck. Starting to pull out Jack's camping gear, he came face to face with the black knapsack, the softness beneath his hands of Jack's clothes reminding Ennis poignantly of just what the fuck he was going to miss from now on. Jack himself was starting to unpack the camping gear without even looking at Ennis, a fact which infuriated him beyond reason. Ennis flung the bag at Jack's feet.

"Guess you'll need some more fancy clothes, to get your next fuck," he said bitterly. Part of Ennis hated himself for saying it, his heart telling him that Jack was hurting just as bad, and wasn't about to go out and get some. The other part was a seething coiled mass, jealousy warring with the fierce desire to throw Jack down on the apartment bed, and make it blatantly obvious that Jack was Ennis's, and nothing on God's earth could change that.

Jack froze, his gloomy eyes rising to the challenge, meeting Ennis's. He knew how Ennis felt about him now. He didn't twitch away but picked up all his gear, as much as he could carry in one trip, whispered, "Go to hell," and walked, head downcast, towards his apartment door.

Gritting his teeth, Ennis paced after Jack, grabbing him roughly by the shoulders, trying to turn him around. The camping gear spilt haphazardly over the ground as Jack broke free of Ennis's hold, steel fingers digging in in return, causing Ennis to let out a gasp of pain. Jack's face was closed in, steel-cold, and Ennis became suddenly very aware that this was nothing like his fights with Alma.

"Don't you fucking walk away from me," Ennis growled out, not even knowing just why he had followed Jack, except that he wasn't going to let it end like that, not here, not now.

"Get the hell off of me." Jack pushed against Ennis, widening the distance between them. Maybe as a kid he'd had to stand his daddy beating on him, but no more. No one was going to stand at his home and beat him down, not with words or fists. Not anyone.

Ennis paused a long while, just hearing the heavy breathing between the both of them. Finally, he nodded, turned, and walked back to the truck.

This Land is Your Land: Chapter Thirty-One

Sun, 17 Feb 2008 09:02:51 GMT

This Land is Your Land - Chapter Thirty-One
Authors: lolitaray (Ennis) and planetgal471(Jack)
Rating: NC17 on/off through the fic
Disclaimer: Brokeback Mountain is the creation of Annie Proulx, and no profit is being made off of the sharing of this work. We do this for enjoyment only.
Summary: Ennis is a high-school drop-out giving it a final go. Jack is an enigmatic history teacher. This is a modern-day AU!AU. In this story, POVs are intermingled. Hopefully this is not too confusing to the readers.
Warnings: The story within contains adult themes, including but not limited to: explicit m/m sex, teacher/student relationships involving the high school level, cursing, and descriptions of violence, including sexual violence. This has been written for fun, but we understand that not everyone may enjoy it.
Authors' Notes: Feedback is so appreciated.
A/N - And we are finally here! The Tetons...:)

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A man with a thick gray mustache met them at the trailhead with two large cremellos and a huge jet black gelding.

"These here is Duke and Duchess," the old man nodded to the cremellos, "and we call this fellow Terror."

Jack felt his jaw drop open. The horses were impressive. They were all quarter horses, but they looked like well-bred champions, not hard-scrabble trail beasts.

"You take care of them, you hear!"

Ennis furrowed his brow, perplexed, then shot an almost wild look at Jack as he finally figured out who must have organized the horses.

"Jack, you--" Only barely catching himself in time, Ennis managed to rein in the barely bridled emotion, turning back to the old cowboy. "Sure thing, sir, we'll take real good care a these animals." Ennis's voice was almost gruff, lowered so as not to show emotion. As the man turned to check the rest of the gear, however, he couldn't help but shoot a glance at Jack, trying to say everything he wanted to convey without words.

Jack smiled at Ennis, squinting against the afternoon sun. He signed a couple papers and exchanged quiet words with the man, then tested the saddle on Duchess while Ennis moved chapped hands over the old, creaky leather on Duke. The Mr. Mustachioed helped them lash their provisions onto Terror, explaining how to tie knots that both already knew. He gave them their weeks' worth of grain and, all three horses heavy-laden, Jack and Ennis finally mounted and headed off to the northwest up Death Canyon Trailhead Road. They'd be staying at the stock camp for the night before moving into the back country proper, since evening was already coming on and they didn't want to be venturing out between bears and moose cows, each with new young in need of protection.

As the road sloped uphill, Jack was silently grateful that the horses were so damn large. There was a lot to carry and a long way to go. The man they'd rented them from must have anticipated that.

The only sounds were mysterious rustling in the bushes, bird calls from every direction, and the crunch of horseshoes on gravel. Neither Jack nor Ennis spoke, the silence somehow too reverent a thing to break. As they climbed higher on the road, the foliage parted and a wide river plain became visible. Past the plain, they got their first view of those towering mountains, the Grand Tetons, back-lit by the setting sun. Jack whistled underneath his breath, drinking in the view with the clean air like they were all one thing he could make a part of himself.

The reached the camp as the sun slipped behind Mount Moran itself. The land they were on was no more than a hill by comparison. The Tetons had no foothills, but rose, unexpected and nearly unwelcome, out of a serene river valley. Behind the mountains, Jack knew, the earth dropped into barren desert-like flatness again. These outcasts were a massive testament to the force of earth that could thrust a solid wall of rock up out of the soil, leaving nearby grounds undisturbed. Jack stalled and stared out westward as Ennis, ever practical, began to set up camp. Jack finally shook himself from his reverie and helped when he herd the clang of aluminum pots, signaling the beginning of the evening meal.

Jack had packed all the gear and planned the meals, so he went to the proper bag and pulled out tonight's. This camp was a jump-off; it had a hand pump from a well and a toilet-- luxuries they would be without down the trail. He fired up the camp stove and made the two of them spaghetti with sauce and bread, even. Jack sucked at cooking, but there were these little kits that came in bags for camping, and that much he could handle. He thought.

The noodles came out overcooked, and the sauce burnt. The white bread, which he had tried to toast over the stove, was also burnt around the edges. Jack served it up with well water. They should take advantage of the failing light to finish setting up camp, once they'd eaten.

Jack couldn't believe they hadn't hardly touched each other since they'd left Riverton on this trip, but with so much to do before nightfall, there hadn't been time. Finishing his meal, though, Jack sat back with a hefty sigh and peered expectantly over towards Ennis.

Ennis looked around at the desolate setting darkness. It felt like they were the only people on Earth, the background of the Tetons seeming to hold some majestic, still power. There was only the occasional stomp of a horse's hoof, snort, and the odd high-pitched yelp of a coyote.

And five more nights to follow, camping in the heart of the range with Jack and Jack alone. Ennis stood, almost shakily, brushing the last crumbs of bread off of his jeans. Feeling slightly dazed, he walked over to his bag, pulling out a bottle of whiskey, and returning, sitting real close butted up next to Jack's side.

"Found this when I was looking through my bag before. K.E. must a...well," Ennis half-smiled. "I know he thinks I've clear to lost my mind but he's my brother an' all so--" Unscrewing the lid, Ennis took a sip, then passed it to Jack, his fingers lingering as he did so. "It's his favorite."

Jack paused, mouth agape, as he held the whiskey in front of him. "No shit. Is he... you think he's comin' around? I mean, he fixed your truck, and now this?" Jack took a long pull of they whiskey he thought of as K.E.'s good will while he kept his eyes fixed on Ennis, awaiting a response.

"Nah. Just--" Ennis broke off, unsure how to explain. "He's looking out for me, I guess." There was no way to explain to Jack that despite the fact that K.E. definitely thought Ennis had gone round the bend with his actions, camping in desolate wilderness with Jack was infinitely preferable to the alternative - Ennis doing anything public and out in the open.

Ennis found it impossible to speak of, not with Jack staring wide at Ennis, his dark blue eyes reminding Ennis of liquid pools, his silhouette merging into the fading light, whiskey shining wet on his lips. Ennis took the bottle away, capping it and, standing, pulled Jack to his feet. Slipping his arms around Jack, Ennis moved a step closer, inhaling the scent of leather and sagebrush in Jack's thick, dark hair. It felt like coming home.

"Couldn't catch my breath when I saw them horses," he whispered huskily in Jack's ear, unsure of how to say the right words. God knew he wasn't good at talking sweet. Alma could surely testify to that. But Alma had never done a thing like this, nor would ever care to, and Ennis knew without it being spoken that it was for him that Jack had rented the horses, planned the path where they would travel. For Ennis.

Jack's strong arms were around him, returning the caress easily, his breath sighing into Ennis's neck, and Ennis felt himself relax. Whatever he said, Jack would think it was enough. "Can't think a things like whiskey right now. Getting cold out here. And--" Ennis pulled back to look Jack in the eyes straight, his hands reaching up, fingers curling round the softness of Jack's neck.

"Jack," Ennis whispered, stilled and rocked by the night's chilled calm. Looking up, Ennis saw the deep yellow glow of the moon, and before he knew it, he was sending up a silent prayer of thanks. He had everything he wanted, right now, here in his arms: Jack, solid and real, warm against his body. More words wouldn't come, so Ennis merely took Jack's hand and led him in silence to the tent. He had a few thoughts about how to make it up to his man, and he knew Jack would be surely approve.

* * * *

Jack stumbled out from under the dew-soaked tent door. Ennis was already packing up the camp. Jack stretched and filled his lungs with the sharp, cool air, shivering. He ducked back into the tent and came out with his lightweight flannel pulled tightly around him, settling side-by-side into a rhythm next to Ennis as together they made ready to move.

Breakfast was hash browns Ennis made on the camp stove. Before seven in the morning, they were headed back down their slope to the riverbed floor, where they would spend most of their week together under the shadow of the lonely peaks.

Jack looked up to see the sun hit the stone, changing its grays to a rainbow of pale purples, yellows, and pinks, framed with green trees below and white snow above. The sky was blue like wild lupine, a sky so blue you could drown looking up. Duchess stumbled on the gravel as Jack shifted his body weight to stare into the limitless sky.

His eyes finally came to rest on the moon. It was in the west, just above the peak of Middle Teton, adding its pale, unearthly glow to the sight rising above them. Jack felt tiny and insignificant, nothing but an animal witnessing the color show of three magnificent celestial bodies lining up just so.

His reverie was broken by the shrill call of a whistle-pig as they descended into an alpine meadow. Off to the north, Jack could see the edge of a moraine. In front was a far more impressive sight: a small herd of bison grazing by the edge of a stream that ran into the Snake, swollen with snow melt at this early season.

Jack pulled Duchess up short, and Ennis stopped beside him. Neither exchanged a word: two cowboys on the Western plain at last, their childhood dreams fulfilled under wide, clear sky.

Jack spurred Duchess on when he was sure the bison were ignoring them. Ennis followed. They both trotted, though they were in no hurry. It just seemed the thing to do.

The reached their designated camp around one in the afternoon and started setting up. Jack put up the tent first. The mountain air was having that effect on him.

The campsite itself was not entirely fortunate as there wasn't a flat piece of ground to be found, but they'd do with the slope. It was alpine meadow, every square inch covered with Silvery Lupine and Heartleaf Arnica. It was a paradise paved in purple and gold, with the odd Queen Anne's Lace peeking through. Rocks and boulders popped out of the soil, and a stand of quaking aspen was advancing on the meadow from the southwest. A hitch for the horses was the only real marker that it was their campsite. The sun struck down with force, and, tent up, Jack flung himself back in the wildflowers to watch its steady track across the sky.

Ennis threw him a canvas bucket after a few minutes, and they walked a little ways to a stream beyond the aspen stand to fill their containers. Small fish jumped, adding weight-slapping-water to the music of the birds and wind in the aspens. They watered the horses first, then drank deeply themselves, rummaging for food in their packs to go with the still, clean water.

"How'd you like to live out here?," Jack broke the silence.

Ennis looked at Jack, taking the question seriously. "Too good to be true, I reckon," he replied after a minute. "Seems some sort of paradise, up here. Life's not like that, though, so perfect. And I guess," he continued, "You'd get bored, with no one to teach."

It occurred to Ennis as he wandered back to the tent, sweet smelling flowers brushing at his jeans, that this was better than anywhere he'd ever dreamed of before. Too good to be true, for real. Felt like some kind of a honeymoon, like you'd see in a movie or something. He dropped the canvas bucket near the tent, watching appreciatively as Jack bent over, doing the same. The sun was high overhead, warming Ennis's hair gently. Ennis squinted slightly, covering his eyes with a hand as he continued to watch Jack. "You wouldn't be able to live up here forever," he remarked softly. "You'd get sick of it, sometime."

Jack squinted up and smiled a devious smile at Ennis. "You think?"

"Yeah, unless that there stream was full of whiskey, or something." Ennis marveled at how he felt, free to smile in the open air at Jack, in perfect safety, the horses and the soft winds waving through the aspens their only witnesses.

"Course," Ennis added, "You'd get by if I was here, to cook for you. Not starve to death, at least. Which you would do, on your own," he finished, full aware of Jack's ineptitude in the kitchen.

"Ha!" Jack laughed, but he didn't waste any more time on the conversation, instead shoving Ennis hard enough to send him sprawling onto the ground. Well, truthfully, Jack didn't think he'd pushed Ennis all that hard. Ennis hadn't tried hard not to fall.

Ennis reached up, pulling Jack down with a laugh and exclamation of "Git down here, cowboy," before Jack lost his balance and was walking on the sky.

It was neither play-wrestling nor lovemaking alone, but fully both, as their play was mingled with shameless thrusts and grappling for less innocence handfuls. It was rough and full of snorts and laughs as they mingled their seed with those of the wild grasses. Afterwards they slept, the cool wind masking the sunburn on their skins, each others' bodies hiding the chill of the air.

It was much later that Ennis awoke and he lay for a time, trying to adjust his bearings. As he lay there he reflected that he could be excused for thinking he'd fallen asleep in paradise. The air was sweet with the aroma of crushed lupin, grasses and damp sweat. Jack lay in a warm heap half over him, breathing deeply in a heavy sleep, his hair tickling Ennis's arm as the breeze picked up slightly with the evening's advancing

Extricating himself gently, Ennis wandered to the edge of the campsite to relieve himself. Making as little noise as possible, he pulled his jeans back on, then set to making a stew, using a few of the root vegetables of carrot and potatoes he'd brought along with some canned meat. It was bubbling away merrily on the small stove by the time Ennis had boiled some water, and opened some canned peaches. Pouring a good slug of K.E.'s whiskey into a tin cup, Ennis did the same in a spare and sat comfortably, waiting for the smell of the food to awaken Jack.

He tried to push down the sense of disquiet about Jack's earlier comments -- two men living together? Jack had been joking, surely. Live together on the Tetons? Or had he just meant living together, with Ennis... Ennis was aware that what may have been a joke masked another topic, one that he was hoping against hell Jack wouldn't bring up.

Jack stirred and noticed his own nakedness first. He sat up and peered across the camp towards Ennis, noticing that the sun was headed towards the mountains westward.

He stood and stretched, wandering to where Ennis was sipping from a cup. Ennis seem to be trying not to look at Jack's used dick hanging right in front of him. Instead, Ennis offered a mug up towards Jack. Jack nodded and took a sip of whiskey, then sat up behind Ennis, wrapping bare arms around Ennis's unclothed mid-section, resting his chin on a smooth shoulder. Jack noticed the freckling on that shoulder, not for the first time, and murmured into Ennis's ear, "Mmm, I'm hungry."

Ennis leaned back against Jack's warm body, a sigh escaping him. He technically knew that there was no way they could be seen by anyone, but that didn't change the vulnerability he felt unless he was clothed. Still, Jack's warm, hard arms enfolding him were hard to ignore.

Ennis resisted temptation, in favor of not having his dinner burn. Knowing how hungry he was, and therefore how hungry Jack was likely to be, he bent forward to grab the salt, studiously grinding the salty beads into the stew.

"Nearly ready." Ennis tried to push down that protective urge he felt. Jack was a grown man and could surely look after himself. He gestured to the hot saucepan. "Some hot water there, if you want to wash and not jump into the stream."

"Aww, come on, diving into freezing cold water is half the fun of camping. Besides, we had fun swimming that one time. Mostly, anyway."

Ennis twisted his neck, startled at the mention of that day. Jack had never mentioned it before. Turning off the stove and scooping the contents neatly into two bowls, Ennis set them to the side to cool and turned to face Jack. He was nearly in Jack's lap, he realized.

"That day..." Ennis mused. He felt relaxed from the whiskey and wrestling from earlier on. Hooking his legs over Jack's he angled himself forward until he was sitting right over Jack, hands laced loosely around Jack's neck. "Funny thing to think on, seeing how we ended up, out here now."

"Yeah...," Jack held Ennis's eyes for a moment, reading Ennis's thoughts in them, before closing the distance and dropping a gentle kiss on Ennis's lips.

Ennis closed his eyes, accepting and open for the kiss before he realized what a goddamned picture he was making of himself. If anyone could see him, sitting out in the open on Jack's lap, making out--damn. Embarrassed, Ennis shifted back, moving to the side of Jack, making a point of passing the bowl Jack's way. He just wasn't sure who he was anymore, sometimes.

Despite his hunger, Jack dropped the bowl into the grass on the hillside and wrapped a hand around each of Ennis's bare biceps. The insects were coming out now in the dusk, but they could have his stew as far as he was concerned. He took Ennis's stew and set it next to his own, pushing Ennis back in the grass and straddling him.

Ennis struggled, instinctively knowing what Jack was doing. It was a simple matter to push a naked Jack to the side and roll over him. Ennis, felt his body, loose and open from the camping, react to Jack's bare skin. Standing, Ennis took two steps to his bag at the tent's edge, then returning to push down his jeans and straddle back over Jack, trying not to quirk a smile at Jack's incredulous stare.

Jack's mouth was hanging half-open, cock already standing to attention in anticipation of what was coming, although Ennis wasn't sure Jack guessed entirely what Ennis was planning. Smoothing lube all over Jack, Ennis tightened his grip as Jack jolted, then hovered over that hard length, trying to lower himself on it. It hurt.

"Jesus, Jack, how the hell did you do it," Ennis grunted in frustration, grimacing as he tried to push down on Jack without any preparation at all.

Jack wanted to speak, to give Ennis advice, but his breath was stolen from him. The best he could do was guide Ennis's hips, pushing against Ennis's weight, as if to let him know that there was no need to rush. They had nowhere to be.

Ennis shut his eyes, taking a deep breath, and pushed down again slowly, feeling himself give over to the burn. Sweat broke out over his body as he slowly sank down further, but the gasp that Jack emitted was worth it. Encouraged, Ennis pulled up a little, legs shaking, and let himself move down again, his upper body falling over Jack.

Jack closed his eyes to try and get a hold of himself, to keep from hurting Ennis. His muscles shivered with Ennis's movements on his dick, though, so it was no use. He opened his eyes again and grasped for parts of Ennis-- all sweaty-- shoulder, elbow, hair, hip trying to find a good anchor but failing. Ennis seemed to be getting used to it, no longer grimacing in utter pain, and that realization alone made Jack throw his head back and pant for want of sanity. He finally caught his breath and looked once more at Ennis sitting on his cock. Jack reached out for Ennis's own slightly-softened penis and worked it towards arousal. "If you, if you angle forward more..." Jack pulled on Ennis's back, "yeah, all the way this way, you can..."

Ennis gasped and grunted with the jolt.

"That," Jack breathed, his head rolling back to know that he'd done that to Ennis.

Ennis looked in disbelief at his cock as it stiffened at the sensation. Supporting himself on his arms, he pulled up and dropped back down again, his eyes rolling back at the electrical stimulation going through his body.

"What the fuck, Jack," Ennis gasped, hesitant to do it again, but one of Jack's hands was strong on his hip, guiding him and pushing him down again. "Guh," Ennis moaned, unable to do much more, not with that other large hand stroking at his cock.

They came together under the sky for the second time that day and rolled into the grass. They couldn't forget the stew forever or it'd attract bears, and Jack truly was hungry. He lay there feeling the itch of insects and watching the white moon rise from the east. It let him see all of Ennis's spent body in its natural glow. Jack closed his eyes and wondered what he'd done to get this, to fall in love, to find someone so perfect. The situation had been complicated as fuck, but the school year was swiftly drawing to a close, and then he'd lasso the moon and he and Ennis could live on Mars, didn't matter. It'd all work out.

They ate and slept and moved camp the next day to another flower-filled location, flatter this time and nearer the Snake. They caught site of a bull moose wandering the banks and watched him in utter silence for a long time. When he was a safe distance away, they fucked with the full sun beating down, though Jack had received a sunburn from the day before and had to be careful of his back. Sometimes after dinner they'd focus on talking, sometimes on drinking, sometimes on sex, sometimes on nothing at all but the sky and the stars. The moon rose later and later each night, was higher and higher in the sky each morning, an unwelcome reminder of the passage of time in this place without calendars. And so they moved camps yet again on their route, climbing towards the mountains and receding from them again as the end of the week drew near.

It was the night before they made their way back to the trail-head. Ennis had actually shot a hare, totally against park rules, but they were out of meat, having had their fill early in the week. He'd cooked the hare up for Jack with mashed potatoes and gravy, and was boiling water for after-dinner coffee.

Jack took the dirty pans down to the creek to wash. Ennis followed with the rest.

The thought of their parting the next day had Ennis tense, although he had tried to hide it all that day, and for the first time that week, he felt himself longing for a smoke. No chance of that, though, so he swished the plates through the water, watching Jack out of the corner of his eyes all the while, secretly wondering when their next meeting would be.

It was only a minute or two before Ennis realized Jack was watching him back, a question in his eyes at Ennis's daze.

Ennis discovered he was standing in the stream up to his ankles, pans forgotten in his hand. Bending, he started to clean the pans half-heartedly, then straightened, feeling the need to talk.

"Just wishing this," Ennis gestured, the metal pan flashing as he waved an arm, water sparkling, "could go on a bit longer. Think we could manage it again some time though, right?"

Ennis noticed Jack's eyes seemed shadowed, and wondered if he was worried about money. "Without the horses, a course," he added hastily, not wanting Jack to feel the price of the horses should be a regular thing.

"Yeah, sure," Jack answered, confused. "Why couldn't we? I mean, you'll probably want to go to college, but when you're on breaks, or depending where you go... Well, guess we have some details to work out, but camping isn't expensive."

Ennis stared. College. Yeah, right. Jack actually thought he was going to be going to college? Ennis squinted down at the water in disbelief, the stream's fluid murmur tugging around his ankles, blithely rushing on its route to wherever the hell it would end up.

Looking back across at Jack, Ennis frowned perplexedly. "What makes you think I'll be going to college? I'd never even...well." Ennis gave a bitter laugh at the thought of himself, a college student. "That's the whole reason I'm trying a finish high school, Jack. To try and get a decent job, not end up with a loan the size of a mortgage payment. College is for the lucky ones. Not for me."

"Well, the point is, you get a real good job after college and then paying back those loans should be a piece of cake."

Ennis shrugged. "You want to live in a dreamland, Jack, go right ahead. I bet you're still paying them off. Fact is, well --" Ennis stopped, unsure if it was worth it to continue. The truth was though, he hadn't told anyone of his dream to go to college.

Ennis almost opened his mouth to speak, but something held him back. Because he just knew, when Jack was looking at him like that, all encouragement and simple hope in his eyes, that he'd try and push Ennis to do it, to follow his heart. And Ennis knew equally well, that what Jack thought, and what the real world provided, were two entirely different things.

Snorting derisively, Ennis pushed against the pangs in his heart. Just the fact that Jack had made it sound so easy hurt, with a wrenching, angry kind of pain. "Well, maybe I'll just win the lottery tomorrow as well, that sound possible, Jack? I guess I can have my pick of colleges then. Oh, wait. You wanted to live up here, didn't you. And we can live on wildflowers and hares, that sound about right?

Jack got up and stomped back towards the camp fire, trying not to think of the fact he was still making student loan payments. "Fuck you, Ennis! You want to live and die a dumb-fuck in a blue-collar job, you go right ahead. I was just thinking out loud."

"Yeah, well fuck you too." Ennis kicked the water angrily with one foot, slipping on the smooth pebbles beneath the water, nearly falling. He managed to regain his balance but his jeans were already drenched to above the knees and -- fuck! The saucepan had slipped out of his hand and was already steadily bobbing down current. Ennis stumbled after it, cursing, managing to splash himself throughly in the process. Why the hell did Jack always have to do that? Interfering in Ennis's life, like it was his business? Retrieving the pan, Ennis stomped angrily up to the tent site, slamming the pan down in front of Jack in a silent, angry point, shucking off his jeans. "Goddamn soaked my only pair of jeans," Ennis said coldly, stating an obvious fact. "Didn't bring nothing else. You got something I can borrow?"

"Sure. Just go in my bag," Jack sighed, resigned.

Ennis ducked into the tent and pulled Jack's bag closer. Jack had brought some comfy clothes, and Ennis chose a light yellow t-shirt and some sweats. Balling his wet shirt, Ennis threw it in the corner of the tent, and changed, making a mental note to hang the shirt outside with his jeans later. Lying back on the sleeping bag, he cushioned his head with his hands, looking out through the open flap at Jack.

Remembering his whiskey, Ennis went outside, making a point of getting the bottle in front of Jack, then returned to the tent. He was surprised to see that during the week, they'd really hardly drank any at all, and it was well over half full. Good. Ennis couldn't explain what he was feeling right now, except that his heart felt dark. And he really, really felt like a cigarette. Jack's original innocent comment about college was like a hole in his tooth, one that Ennis couldn't prevent from throbbing. Well, if he couldn't have a smoke, at least he could get good and drunk. Pulling off the lid, Ennis drank deep from the bottle.

Jack didn't know how everything had gone from picture-perfect to sour so damned fast, but he was feeling it too, truth be told. As the sun set and the moon did not rise to greet them, it being nearly a full week after full, the camp was bathed in a lonely dark. Ennis stayed in the tent with his hastily-retrieved whiskey. Jack was left mulling over what he had said and debating the wisdom of going into a small, enclosed place with a cranky Ennis. He only relented to the idea when the frigid air and weight of fatigue finally drove him inside. He pulled back a tent flap, unsure of what might meet him: anger, lust, sweetness, unconsciousness?

Ennis had been listening to the sounds of the night outside, warring with a combination of anger and guilt. Hearing the sounds of Jack moving in the darkness brought a wave of relief. Ennis had the flashlight on, and the resulting shadow casts ghostly fingers over the walls of the tent as Jack entered.

Reaching out his hand, Ennis clutched hard onto Jack's fingers, bringing them to his mouth in silent apology. He had only made it about a third of a way down the bottle, but it was enough.

When Jack met the best of possible imaginings in the canvas tabernacle, his body and soul reacted instantaneously and in unison. "Come 'ere," he whispered, bringing Ennis quickly to his shoulder in a hug that also gave him the advantage of smelling Ennis's unwashed musk. The flashlight dropping, spinning, onto the tent floor, shining aimlessly at a distant corner and bathing the scene in a ethereal glow as Jack leaned back from Ennis to pull off his shirt and then loosen his own pants.

The torch's weak glow dappled pale light over Jack, dragging Ennis's eyes from Jack's face to the scattered hair between his nipples. It was sparse and dark, so much darker than Ennis's. Ennis noted in exact detail where it started again below Jack's flat navel, leading down to...well, Jack was pulling down his pants now and Ennis could see exactly where that trail led too.

His brief glimpse was abruptly curtailed as Jack moved back up beside him, quietly. Ennis suddenly realized, all at once and in a rush, that he had to look at Jack. Perhaps because it was their last night and all, he reasoned, but in any case, it had to be done, and it was all that he wanted.

"Lie back, now." The words were unnecessary even as Ennis heard his voice, sounding deep and unnaturally arousal-thick. His hands were already pushing Jack back against the sleeping bag, his eyes sweeping up and down Jack's relaxed body. The view was breathtaking. Ennis sat a minute, taking it in. Finally raising his eyes to meet Jack's, he flushed, almost feeling like he'd been caught in some vogyeuristic pursuit. Jack's gaze was open and direct, and Ennis felt it burning into him.

Ennis's fingers trembled as he pulled off his...no, they were Jack's clothes, and then he was lying half on his side, a leg entwined over Jack. Ennis felt his cock hardening to an almost painful need just breathing Jack's air, feeling that warm, hard skin. Moving his arm down between them, he lightly stroked, then circled Jack's cock, gasping as he held it against his own.

"I want it like that time at the hotel." Ennis ghosted a breath over Jack's ear, then rubbed his mouth over Jack's cheek. It was rasping-sharp, rough with stubble. "To do it with you. Do it together."

Ennis's skin was cold in the strange light, cold and slightly wet like river stone, and soft with youth as well. He leaned back to look into Ennis's eyes, but Ennis didn't meet his. Then Jack just touched, just wanted to touch, to feel and warm and stroke. What Ennis wanted was a beautiful thing to want and to want to give, but there was no need to rush there.

Ennis felt Jack's hands close around his, wrapped around their hardness, and, sighing with relief, just let himself go. It was just himself and Jack, Jack's breath hard and rasping in Ennis's ear, Jack's large hand linked around Ennis's, squeezing and pulsing and pulling their cocks until Ennis gasped, couldn't stand it anymore, called out "Enough," and he and Jack were shuddering together, heated fluid spurting between them both.

Ennis let his head sink onto Jack's shoulder with a thud. Couldn't be bothered cleaning up, it was too much. And besides, he honestly didn't care. It was the last night, and Ennis knew, with a sinking feeling after the joyous freedom of release, that it wasn't going to be like this again, not for a long while. The abandonment of last weekend at the unit seemed to pale now, with an irrevocable knowledge of finality, and Ennis pulled back slightly, turning and hunching his back away from Jack.

It only lasted a brief second, before he felt Jack turning, warm arms enclosing, wrapping a wall of comfort around him. Ennis wanted to fight it, but some inner demon let it go, needing to take what he could get. He relaxed back, Jack's slick, wet skin seeming to hold him closer, a sticky web of their essence combined: himself and Jack, joined. He'd just have to put tomorrow out of his mind, he thought to himself, falling forward into the darkness of rest.

This Land is Your Land: Chapter Thirty

Fri, 08 Feb 2008 05:55:29 GMT

This Land Is Your Land - Chapter Twenty-Nine
This Land is Your Land - Chapter Thirty
Authors: lolitaray (Ennis) and planetgal471(Jack)
Rating: NC17 on/off through the fic
Disclaimer: Brokeback Mountain is the creation of Annie Proulx, and no profit is being made off of the sharing of this work. We do this for enjoyment only.
Summary: Ennis is a high-school drop-out giving it a final go. Jack is an enigmatic history teacher. This is a modern-day AU!AU. In this story, POVs are intermingled. Hopefully this is not too confusing to the readers.
Warnings: The story within contains adult themes, including but not limited to: explicit m/m sex, teacher/student relationships involving the high school level, cursing, and descriptions of violence, including sexual violence. This has been written for fun, but we understand that not everyone may enjoy it. This chapter has rimming in explicit detail so if it's a squick...scroll past
Authors' Notes: Feedback is so appreciated.

View All Chapters

Lureen drove. She wasn't a distance driver and she hated it, but it was cheaper than hopping around from little airports to big airports and back, so she'd drove to Salt Lake City in a rented Chevy Tahoe that could take the ice and snow. A stack of CDs went with her as her only company.

She pulled back into the apartment complex's parking lot on Sunday evening, smiling and with a bounce in her step. She unlocked the door and swung it open. No one was in the living room.

"Jack!"

"Yeah?" he called from his bedroom. He emerged, clutching a thick black leather notebook and wearing a T-shirt and athletic shorts. His hair was rumpled and she only now noticed that he was needing a haircut.

"I got it! I got the job." She nearly bounced on her toes with the news.

"Yeah? That's great." He closed the distance between them and slung his free arm around her. "We need some champagne or something."

She shrugged. "I'm starting soon, so I've got to move out of here."

He nodded, smiling for her sake.

She moved to drop her bag on the couch but stopped mid-action. The couch was rumpled mess. The coffee table was askew. And there was something dried and clumped on the carpet. "Jack..."

"Huh?"

"What is that in the--"

"Shit."

Lureen sighed. "Looks like I'm not moving out too soon."

"I've been grading--"

"Yeah." Lureen slid coldly past him into the kitchen.

"It's not like you've never seen it before!" Jack protested behind her.

She stopped in the kitchen. It smelled of rotten banana, a distinctive smell that could never be mistaken. There! She found the culprit, a half-eaten banana still out, and held it up as Jack entered behind her. "Jack--"

"Jesus, sorry."

"Jack, you--"

"Sorry."

Lureen sighed. "I'm going to go get some coffee or something and then we can try this whole coming home thing again."

Jack chuckled. "That sounds about right."

"Great." Lureen grabbed her coat and closed the door behind her.

One thing she knew: Jack must have it bad. He'd always been somewhat tidy. Not fastidious, not at all, but at least not gross. Things, it seemed, were really changing.

* * * *

Jack spent most of the rest of the weekend on work crap and bills. His friends had initially wondered what happened to him, back in the fall, but by now they'd given up on doing shit with him. Somehow, Jack told himself, everything was going to be alright. He had to have more faith in Ennis. Ennis had returned to him after that crap in December. A man just beginning to wrestle with his sexual identity and already finding himself in a relationship had plenty on his plate, so Jack decided not to stress it too much. He could deal with clandestine looks and burning lust. It couldn't get any worse than it already had been, and he only had to get to early April and the Easter week trip they'd planned for the Tetons. If Ennis's brother was going to miss him at Easter, Ennis hadn't said.

* * * *

March came in like a lion: feet upon feet of snow, not to mention the ice, wind, and worst of all the biting cold that never went away but crept into every crack in every wall, under the blankets of the bed, and into the warm stream of the shower. You couldn't ever get warm in Wyoming's early March, not without a warm body next to yours.

Since Lureen wasn't long for Wyoming, much of the latter half of the month became consumed in plans for her moving, and, by the time Jack, Lureen, and some other friends of theirs were seeing her off, stuffing her meager belongings into her car, they only needed sweatshirts in the cool spring sun. She left the day before St. Patrick's Day, and Jack knew he'd have to find a new roommate and soon if he wanted to continue to pay rent. If he thought he'd been lonely without Ennis, life without either Ennis or Lureen was sheer hell: plenty of silence and empty space for his thoughts to bounce around unfettered.

Eventually, though, as April neared, his mind become more clearly trained on Ennis and the trip he and Ennis had planned to the Tetons. Jack started packing a full week early, leaving him with nearly no clean clothes to wear to work.

And then, the day itself was here. Friday Ennis had off school, but Jack had to work. They hadn't made any real plans about transportation, because Jack didn't want to broach an issue that Ennis wouldn't want to discuss. But, after class on Thursday, Jack asked Ennis if he could stop by later to discuss something (not even feeling the energy to lie and imply it was grade-related). Jack was eager and ready to go.

* * * *

Ennis walked down the corridor to see Jack that afternoon, a thrill of anticipation in his heart. Glancing out of a window, he saw the sky was high and clear, cumulus clouds blotting the sky like cotton balls. It boded well for their week in the Tetons.

Sorting through his meager wardrobe, Ennis had already shoved most of his clothes in a simple cotton bag, that had sat on the end of his bed all week. K.E. had been largely tolerable, Ennis catching his brother watching him out of the corner of his eye with a half-puzzled smile on his face. Maybe he could sense Ennis's anticipation. K.E had even taken to watching the weather station closely, throwing comments Ennis's way about the unlikely possibility of another freeze on his vacation time. As far as Ennis was concerned though, rail or hail wouldn't make a difference to the trip.

Wednesday morning, Ennis woke before dawn, puzzled by the yellow light streaming out of the barn, the doors thrown wide open. He wandered out in the dark to find K.E. sprawled full length underneath the pick-up, tools scattered haphazardly around him. Turned out K.E. had been working on the truck all week in the chance Ennis planned to drive it to the Tetons. Ennis had stammered out thanks, love and gratitude in his heart, even as K.E. had bluffed it away with the argument that it was high time the old truck had a good service. Ennis knew better, that in his own way his brother was still looking out for him.

Alma didn't turn a hair when Ennis hesitantly informed her of the upcoming vacation with a 'friend.' Her whole attitude was one of passive disinterest, and she immediately changed the subject to the state of K.E.'s cows and Ennis's forthcoming graduation. It was a welcome change from her scrutiny of the last couple of months, and Ennis had been too relieved to wonder at her dispassion.

* * * *

Thursday afternoon Ennis reached the classroom door, knocked perfunctorily and entered. The way he was feeling, he figured it was probably best to stay a safe distance from Jack. Ennis leaned against the wall, giving Jack a half-smile.

"Afternoon, sir." Ennis was unable to resist the formal greeting, mentally comparing the conservative word with the actual reality of Jack in a tent, butted up hard against Ennis, warm and naked. Ennis keeping Jack warm. Real warm. Half-coughing, Ennis shifted, his dick pressing uncomfortably against his jeans as it hardened at Ennis's thoughts. "Weather's looking good for the vacation time."

Jack answered with a rakish smile, but lowered his voice when he said, "I just wanted to know what our transportation plans were. I got all my gear packed up." He turned to erase the board. He'd been worrying all week over whether maybe Ennis would cancel the trip. Ennis hadn't done anything to imply such a thing, but it seemed too good to be true.

Ennis felt a hard knot in his gut, that he hadn't even know was there, loosen. Somehow, without even thinking about it, he'd been expecting something to go wrong, that their trip would be canceled for whatever reason.

"I've had my stuff packed for a while now, too," Ennis volunteered. "And the pick-up's like new; K.E.'s been working on it all week." Ennis couldn't prevent the smiling at the thought of his brother's generosity. "If your tent's big enough for the both of us, I'd say we're set." Ennis lowered his voice. "I'll come past Saturday morning, then?"

Jack nodded, unable to hide a grin. It was all set, then. He just had to get to Saturday morning.

* * * *

Saturday was one of those perfect, spring-like days, where the sun was hot and the wind was cold. The grass was greening up, and the forsythia would be blooming in town by the time they got back. Purple crocuses lined the flower bed around the sign to Jack's apartment complex, but he barely spared them a glance, their beauty paling in comparison to Ennis's joyous face when he pulled up in his truck. It was not only running quieter, but it looked cleaner, too, inside and out. He began to pile the necessary equipment into the bed.

Ennis felt the smile spread across his face, responding at once to Jack's boyish eagerness. He wanted to jump out of the pick-up immediately upn seeing Jack waiting in front of the complex, but resisted, slumping lower as Jack packed away the camping equipment neatly.

But now… as they both jumped up into the pick-up, it seemed like the moment was finally upon them.

The cab, once Jack was in, radiated with warm sunlight streaming through the windshield. The sky was a peerless blue overhead. "Damn," Jack exclaimed, not able to say anything more. The Tetons were probably one of the most amazing places he'd been, but to go there with Ennis was beyond...

They'd be back-country camping, safest for him, and also most comfortable for Ennis, Jack was sure. Not really safest from the wildlife, though. Both Jack and Ennis had some experience with Wyoming's fauna, at least. They'd pick up some groceries 'round Jackson. Jack had already arranged a couple horses for them to rent for the week, assuring the stable that they knew what they were doing. The price was nothing short of an arm and leg, but worth it. After they got the food and mounts, they could go up to the trail-head and from there to their back-country area. Jack tapped his foot eagerly and smiled over at Ennis.

"Been looking forward to this since forever, it seems," Ennis murmured, giving Jack a sideways glance. He reached out, unable to resist placing a tanned hand across Jack's denim-clad thigh. "Seems like we've got everything sorted. So, I guess it's time to be off then." Only bothering to take his hand off Jack just long enough to start the truck and pull it into gear, Ennis started driving, replacing his hand as soon as he pulled out onto the straight road. He heard himself whistling as he drove, but couldn't give a damn. Jack would understand. The pick-up was purring along beautifully and Ennis wondered just what the hell K.E. had done to it. And for no obvious reason, Ennis suddenly realized that he hadn't had a smoke since speaking to Jack yesterday. Hadn't even occurred to him-- he'd been just that worked up about the trip. He guessed he could pick some up on the way through, but-- well something gave him pause. Jack had never commented but once, saying it would give him cancer, so Ennis supposed he'd see how he went without them. For now, though, it was just them and the open road.

This Land is Your Land: Chapter Twenty-Nine

Mon, 28 Jan 2008 09:56:26 GMT

This Land Is Your Land - Chapter Twenty-Nine

Authors: lolitaray (Ennis) and planetgal471(Jack)
Rating: NC17 on/off through the fic
Disclaimer: Brokeback Mountain is the creation of Annie Proulx, and no profit is being made off of the sharing of this work. We do this for enjoyment only.
Summary: Ennis is a high-school drop-out giving it a final go. Jack is an enigmatic history teacher. This is a modern-day AU!AU. In this story, POVs are intermingled. Hopefully this is not too confusing to the readers.
Warnings: The story within contains adult themes, including but not limited to: explicit m/m sex, teacher/student relationships involving the high school level, cursing, and descriptions of violence, including sexual violence. This has been written for fun, but we understand that not everyone may enjoy it. This chapter has rimming in explicit detail so if it's a squick...scroll past
Authors' Notes: Feedback is so appreciated.

View All Chapters

"What do you want to watch?" Jack was squatting by the movie cabinet in a clean pair of sweats and a T-shirt. He'd loaned a similar outfit to Ennis, who was watching him from the couch.

Ennis smiled, stretching out his legs, warm and comfortable. This was a world away from the hardness of Alma's couch. Jack was more relaxed than Ennis could remember him ever being, a soft smile curving the corner of his mouth. Ennis couldn't have given a damn about the movie. "Whatever," he said, hearing the smile in his voice.

"Well, whattaya want? Comedy? Action? Drama? Romance?," Jack wiggled his eyebrows at the last. "I've even got porn," he added with a laugh.

"Shit, Jack," Ennis returned, frowning at the memory of Jack's damn recklessness. "I don't really care. Just...just get over here," he added, suddenly needing Jack's body next to his.

Jack chucked. "Blazing Saddles it is. You'll like this, Ennis, it's a Western." Jack grinned like a fool, full of mischief, and lowered the lights. He batted Ennis's legs out of the way to settle back into the couch cushions. He sighed and leaned back, sated and serene.

"Hey," Jack said while some preview rolled. "I never thanked you for that gift." He peered over to watch the flickered red and blue light dance on Ennis's face.

Ennis felt himself flush, uncomfortable at the mention of what he'd given Jack. He still didn't know what had driven him to do it. It wasn't like he'd been forced to, or that Jack had given him something and expected a gift in return. No, this one was all Ennis. That was what was worrying him. He'd known Alma had been expecting something, probably flowers. He'd never gotten her jewelry before. And then, Ennis had to go and spend nearly three months' worth of his savings on a gift for his teacher. Who, had somehow incredibly turned out along the lines to be his lover, also. Jack fucking Twist. Jesus.

"I don't want thanks," Ennis said, averting his eyes from Jack's gaze.

"Too bad, because you're going to get it. Thank you. It was really something, Ennis. I didn't expect anything like that."

"Well." Ennis, feeling embarrassed and unsure of what to say, pulled Jack closer, shutting him up with a kiss, an arm sliding around Jack's shoulders. The kiss was slow, wet and welcoming. Like coming home.

Jack slipped away from the kiss as the feature presentation rolled, but was still leaning heavily on Ennis. They watched the movie through, laughing, talking, Jack poking Ennis in the ribs during the funny parts, Ennis pretending to mind. At one point Jack reached out and grasped Ennis's hand in his own, lazily, rhythmically rubbing a thumb over the rough skin of the hand that clearly had seen its share of cold weather.

At the end of the movie Ennis yawned, stretching his long legs out in front of him. "Better be getting off home, now," he teased, wanting to see what Jack's reaction would be.

A jolt of alarm sailed through Jack as the credits rolled, but when he saw the smile around Ennis's eyes, he threw himself against Ennis. "You asshole."

Ennis hooked an arm around Jack's neck, their resulting wrestle nearly pulling them both off the sofa. It was a damn good thing he managed to avoid hitting the sharp edge of the coffee table at the last minute, yanking them back, Jack laying half on top of him.. "I don't know what you're talking about," Ennis protested mock-innocently, half-panting, enjoying the feeling of Jack up against him.

The night was sliding along all too quickly for his liking. It was good to be around Jack, as he was now, relaxed and playful, compared to how it was going to be, once morning came. Ennis laughed. "You saying you want me to share your bed?"

Jack took advantage of his position, the elastic waistband of the sweats he'd lent Ennis, and Ennis's lack of underwear ownership to bring out into the naked air that one object that had long ago become Jack's favorite play thing. "I'm saying," he leaned down and licked around the still-partially-hooded tip of Ennis's growing erection, "that I want you. My bed's bigger, but anywhere's good enough." After all, hadn't they taken advantage of sharp grass and barn floors?

"Anywhere- wha?" As always, Ennis had no defenses when Jack used tactics such as these. Ennis reached his hand down, tugging at Jack's thick, dark hair.

Jack didn't let himself be moved. He licked up and down Ennis's growing length, kissing the tender, loose spot between his balls even as he struggled still to pull the sweats down lower, and moving up again to taste the perfect tangy salt of Ennis. Jack sat up to look down at Ennis. Truth was, the taste put Jack in mind of another he was wanting, but Ennis, Ennis so innocent in sex... Jack's heart hammered in his chest at what he wanted, nearly needed now, but no idea if it was the right thing to be doing. He froze, raw desire raging a war against the fear of scaring Ennis.

"C'mere." Ennis lay relaxed, thrusting his hips up lazily.

Jack didn't follow Ennis's request. Instead, he licked his lips. "Did you, uh... Could I..." He thought he might choke, trying to put this into words. He'd talked to men before about wanting stuff, but that was when it was about sex, not when it was about... whatever this was about. "I was thinking of something we haven't done before. Could I try it?" Jack locked eyes with Ennis, hoping Ennis would trust him.

"Try what?" Ennis's half-smiled, his mind still anticipating the next moment of pleasure.

"Here." Jack slipped a hand under Ennis's leg. "Turn over."

Ennis blinked, puzzled, then turned onto his stomach, chin on his hands, waiting.

He half-turned his head around, giving a short laugh. "So what did you want to do?"

Jack didn't answer, didn't pause, didn't want to take for granted for one moment the gift Ennis was giving him. Ennis might change his mind and turn away at any moment. In answer to Ennis's question, Jack spread Ennis's cheeks wide and licked with a saliva-slick tongue at the tender area behind Ennis's balls. The taste was all Ennis, unshowered, and Jack felt his heart thunder like a summer storm even in the middle of winter as he slowly, gently explored higher and higher with his tongue and lips.

Ennis hissed deep in the back of his throat, his hands convulsively to grab at something, anything. "What the fuck are you doing?" he managed to choke out before a groan emerged.

Jack answered Ennis again through actions, having reached his destination now. He played around the edge of Ennis's hole, his intention to tease until Ennis practically begged to be entered.

"Jack--fuck--" Ennis was cursing, not even realizing his face was pressed into the cushions. Raising his head to gasp for air, he finally managed to speak actual words. "You can't do--that!"

"Mmm," Jack hummed into the crevice. He raised his head up. "I don't seem to be having a problem." He dove back down slow and lazy, taking his time on the side walls of Ennis's ass crack, dribbling a little spit down to his target in preparation.

Ennis dropped his head back down, reduced to do not much more than groaning in frustration at the feelings Jack was producing in his ass. "Damn you," he grunted, finally realizing what Jack was doing. The teasing was unbearable, and Ennis found himself, to his own disbelief, pushing back, wanting more.

Jack chuckled and decided that he'd better get on with it or Ennis was likely to lose his patience. Not that Jack minded what happened when Ennis did, but Jack had other things in mind just now, so in one steady push he opened Ennis with his tongue, muscle on muscle now. Ennis's muscles were willing and ready, betraying his desire to be penetrated with their lack of fight.

Ennis's eyes were almost rolling back in his head, mind blown with just what the hell he was feeling. Jack's tongue was actually in his ass, which was beyond the concept of anything he could have imagined, and what was even weirder, Ennis had the feeling that if Jack stopped, he would be begging for it to continue.

Ennis could feel drops of pre-come, sliding slowly down his cock, now begging to be touched. Ennis obliged it quickly, sliding a hand between himself and the sofa, groaning out loud. Jesus Christ, if Jack kept doing that, he'd be shooting in a matter of seconds. Ennis could feel his legs waver, muscles shaking as Jack's tongue continued relentlessly. "Please--" he heard himself beg, not even knowing what it was he wanted.

Jack gripped Ennis's butt hard, parting the muscles further so that he could get as close as possible to the beautiful taste of Ennis. Shit. Nothing had touched Jack's dick but cushion , but there was no way he wouldn't come, and soon. He plunged himself in and out of Ennis rhythmically and lost himself entirely in the frenzy. He shot, his come flying everywhere on the couch, on Ennis, wherever. He groaned deep and hard into Ennis's bowels as the orgasm passed.

Ennis bit his lip thankfully as Jack's tongue moved again, thrusting even deeper inside. He barely got in another stroke before he was coming, convulsively spurting all over his hand and beyond. Ennis collapsed, his legs unable to function any more. Pulling his sticky hand free, Ennis shut his eyes, mind completely wiped.

Jack felt Ennis come, and cradled those thin, beautifully masculine hip bones in a gentle embrace as Ennis fell, lifeless, into the gray-blue cotton. Jack turned, licking the lingering taste from his lips, and laid his weary head against Ennis. He had no will to move, no place to be, everything he needed right here with him.

"Goddamn," Ennis finally whispered, unable to say much more. So much of what he and Jack were was unspoken, no need for the words. Moving his legs free, Ennis swung them over the sofa, pulling up his sweat pants. He lit a cigarette, still unable to look at Jack. What he had done-- just thinking about it made his limp dick twitch a trifle. Ennis had to quirk his lip at its reaction. Did other people do what they just did? He couldn't imagine it. At all. Just why did it feel so good? Like all Ennis wanted was for Jack to be inside of him, and he to be inside of Jack.

Jack rolled over to breath the cool, free air all around him. "Yeah." It was all he could think of to say.

Ennis finished his smoke, feeling better. The apartment was a comfortable temperature and felt good against his bare skin. Grabbing his shirt, Ennis made a feeble dab at the evidence all over the couch. "I hope Lureen doesn't realize what we've done on this," he joked, feeling warm at Jack's returned groan.

The rest of the night passed peaceably, the two talking comfortably. Ennis didn't even pause when Jack yawned, before he rose to his feet and held out a hand to Ennis. It was as natural as breathing, slipping into bed beside Jack, Ennis's body automatically spooning up behind him, Ennis's arm reaching over to hold Jack against him tight.

* * *

Ennis felt just as lazy and comfortable the next night as he sat with his brother in front of the television, long legs stretched out and a beer in his hand. For once, K.E. wasn't out on the Saturday evening and it didn't even strike him as strange until he heard his brother speak and turned to see the speculative gaze K.E. was shooting him. Ennis frowned slightly. "What?"

"I said, something you care to tell me?" K.E. said, twisting his own bottle around in his hands.

Ennis looked back at him, mind half on the television program, half on replaying just what Jack had done to him the night before. "Huh?"

"You still getting married to Alma?"

Ennis turned to K.E., his attention caught. "Sure. What are you talking about?"

"Just who've you been spending the night with? That purty little gal of yours?" K.E. snorted. "Doubt her daddy would appreciate you rooming over, even if you were married by now."

Ennis felt himself flush and frowned, hating the fact it was giving him away but determined to bluff it out, nonetheless. "I told you, the blizzard was that bad I didn't want to chance it. Chuck said he'd let me stay over."

"Bullshit." K.E. gave Ennis a level stare. "I know what's going on Ennis and I ain't stupid. Does Alma know?"

Ennis gave up all pretense of innocence. "I don't know. I thought not but--well," he continued, "I don't know."

"I've been thinking, since you didn't come home that first time," K.E. reflected. "Best if you break it off now with Alma, before it's too late, Ennis."

"What?" Ennis gaped in disbelief.

"Get the hell out of the situation. Girl like that doesn't deserve it. And if you ask me," K.E. grimaced, "women are a lot a trouble to tie the knot with so soon. You're young. I'm sick a looking at you, tied up in knots the last few months."

"I can't do it," Ennis acknowledged miserably. "Can't do that to Alma."

"Huh. That girl's going a get ahead; she's stronger than she looks. But," K.E. continued, "you got a get some kind of a grip. I just can't understand what the hell you keep going back to that man, for. The risks alone--"

Ennis shrugged. No one had asked the question more than himself. "Well, what do you think I should do?"

K.E. smiled. It was obvious to Ennis that he'd spent a considerable amount of time thinking on that same question. "I think you should play the field, like me, Ennis. So Alma's not the one. Plenty of other pretty fish in the sea. Get it all out a your system. You'll find some nice gal that's right for you to set yourself up with."

Ennis, whose hopes had risen for one brief split second, sighed at his brothers words but he figured he'd give it one shot. "Once I graduated, well--Jack--I mean--"

K.E. winced visibly. "You don't want that life, Ennis. I don't want that life for my little brother, hearing that you're in hospital, some one having taken exception to your pretty boyfriend. God," K.E. rolled his eyes, "don't even want to think about something like that."

"I wouldn't do that," Ennis said, emphatically then. "I don't want to end up like Earl. And I wouldn't want Jack to end up that way, either."

"Well," K.E. shrugged, "at least you're thinking sense in some way. If you have to do it, just do it as little as you can. Hopefully it'll all just fade away."

Ennis didn't even bother to reply. It wasn't like that, wasn't about the sex. Okay, that was a lie. It was about the sex, but it was also about the way Jack teased Ennis, and the way he smiled at Ennis, all of Jack's different smiles, smart-ass, caring, tender--Ennis could go on and on. The way Jack's hand found Ennis's face, the way Jack just went out of his way to make Ennis feel good, no matter what.

But, Ennis already knew that K.E. wouldn't get it, not in a million years, so he just traced a circle on the cheap fabric of the sofa, not even looking in K.E's direction. "Don't want to end up alone," Ennis repeated to himself stubbornly. "And I can't do it to Alma. Half of goddamned Riverton's coming to the wedding."

"Well," K.E. finished. "Can't say I didn't warn you."

Ennis threw the remote to the table and stood. Now he felt down and discouraged, his optimistic bubble abruptly broken. "I'm going to bed," he said, scowling. Anything to get away from being told what the hell to do. K.E. may have meant well but Ennis was sick the hell of being bossed around in one way or another.

This Land is Your Land: Chapter Twenty-Eight

Thu, 10 Jan 2008 03:05:20 GMT

This Land Is Your Land - Chapter Twenty-Eight

Authors: lolitaray (Ennis) and planetgal471(Jack)
Rating: NC17 on/off through the fic
Disclaimer: Brokeback Mountain is the creation of Annie Proulx, and no profit is being made off of the sharing of this work. We do this for enjoyment only.
Summary: Ennis is a high-school drop-out giving it a final go. Jack is an enigmatic history teacher. This is a modern-day AU!AU. In this story, POVs are intermingled. Hopefully this is not too confusing to the readers.
Warnings: The story within contains adult themes, including but not limited to: explicit m/m sex, teacher/student relationships involving the high school level, cursing, and descriptions of violence, including sexual violence. This has been written for fun, but we understand that not everyone may enjoy it. Just scroll past!
Authors' Notes: Feedback is so appreciated!

So this chapter is smexy! A bit of reprieve for our boys. The next chapter too!

View All Chapters

Jack flew home on icy roads that Tuesday. He went straight to his bedroom and cleared a space on his cluttered nightstand. He pulled the shining gift from his pocket, warm from a full day's worth of body heat, and set it on the cheap wood. The arrow swung around north. The Tetons were to the west, in the direction of Jack's bed and window, but that was alright because north was the open ranch country, the rolling hills and flattening plains that Ennis and his brother called home. It was just a coincidence that the compass, here by Jack's bed, would always point to Ennis's own bed, wasn't it? Jack wasn't sure he believed in coincidences any more.

Wednesday and Thursday Jack muddled through his classes. Friday early, a storm blew in from the east, an unusual weather pattern for the area: twisted, backwards, wrong. Three feet of snow fell before the first school bus took to the road, but in Wyoming school didn't stop for snow.

By the time Jack was done his first period, the winds had picked up and were raging in gusts near forty miles an hour, bringing a blizzard white-out with them. Everyone had trouble averting their gaze from the windows. It looked like nothing existed outside of the school.

By lunch, the winds had thankfully died, only to be replaced by a torrent of freezing rain-- the worst possible addition to the winter storm. The superintendent called uncle at 12:51, and closed all the schools. Jack gathered his bags in silence and headed into the glassy freezer of death right outside the doors.

He was struggling across the student parking lot on his way to the teacher lot when the sight in front of him brought him up cold. The freezing rain had luckily subsided to flurries, and in the white dust, there was Ennis, grunting with annoyance and chiseling at the thick layer of ice on his windshield. The wall of snow and fog and silence around them in the otherwise crowded lot imbued the scene with a false sense of privacy. Jack took a couple steps closer.

"One hell of a storm, huh?"

Ennis looked up, startled to hear Jack speak. He looked around cautiously, but it seemed safe enough to talk. Ennis allowed his gaze to soften as he took in Jack's expression.

"Don't know how I'll get home. The old truck's on its last legs. Well--" Ennis stopped talking. The silence had been so long between them that Ennis had no idea of what to say. However, that warm feeling was growing stronger and stronger, that part of him that always seemed to react to Jack. No change there.

Jack didn't think it would be safe with Aguirre watching to offer Ennis a ride or... a place to stay. But Jack didn't want him out in this weather, either.

"Could you, uh, maybe one of your friends can take you home or let you spend the night or something? Or, I mean, if you can't find anyone, I guess I could..." Jack hadn't even been planning to offer, but it had happened on its own, somehow.

"Nah." Ennis kicked the tire of the old pick-up, swearing under his breath. "I can manage. Done it before." Pulling at the door, Ennis had to almost forcibly yank it open, hinges sticking in the cold. "Best be off, before it gets worse." Giving himself the luxury of one last look at Jack, standing there shivering in the cold, Ennis jumped up in the driver's seat. All Ennis wanted was to spend a bit of time with Jack, just a little, but he knew it wouldn't be possible. That night with Lureen there, they seemed to have gotten away with it, but Ennis knew it wouldn't be repeated. Too damn risky. Ennis still couldn't believe he had gotten into the shower with Jack while she had been in bed. No control, and that wasn't a good thing, at all.

"Ennis." Jack heard his voice rattle low in his chest. "You, uh...," he cleared his throat and shivered in the cold. "Don't do this. Drive home in this. She's not home, you know."

Ennis's heart skipped a beat as he looked down at Jack, into those blue eyes. He had the sinking feeling of sliding down a slippery slope of disaster, but one thing was certain, it was almost impossible to say no when Jack looked at him like that. And after all, that was what Ennis had been dreaming of for the last four weeks, wasn't it? Wringing it out at least twice a night to thoughts of Jack, and the mornings also.

If Lureen wasn't home, Ennis rationalized, what harm could come of it? If he was careful. It was a big apartment building, and if they went in separately.... And it was still a good eight weeks until the Tetons. They might not get another chance. Ennis sighed, found himself nodding slowly.

Jack nodded and walked off without saying another word, taking big steps to climb up over the snow, arms flailing to try and find his balance. He started chiseling the ice off his small sedan, running the engine to warm it up. Shit, the ice was thick and Ennis had a head start. Nothing to help it, but Ennis was going to beat him home for sure.

Ennis reached the apartment block without any problems, easily finding time to stop off and ring K.E. He felt keyed up and tense, sinking low in the seat while smoking a cigarette as he waited for Jack. Ennis didn't think he'd ever get used to this. It really wasn't about Jack being a teacher for him, at all, save the fear that Jack would be discovered. It was the incredulous emotion that Jack managed to pull out of him like liquid sunshine. Ennis still found it impossible to concede that a man made him feel like this.

He'd looked around, at other classmates, men on the street and...nothing. Just the notion of getting physical caused an inner revulsion. So what the hell did Jack have that made Ennis so damned...ravenous-- that was the only word to describe it-- that he'd take risks like this. It sure couldn't be the sex, as Ennis could get it with others if he wanted to, he guessed. Sex. With Jack. Ennis reached down and adjusted his jeans, as his cock heartily reminded him that it had been over four weeks with nothing but his hand to keep him company. Groaning, he threw out the butt of the cigarette, all senses alert for Jack's car.

Jack pulled up, glad to see that the lot had been plowed. Getting out of his car, he saw Ennis's truck, with Ennis still sitting in it, but he didn't pause by it, instead walking straight to his door across the thick ice, quickly unlocking and moving inside where it was blissfully warm and empty. Lureen was in Salt Lake on a series of job interviews she'd managed to lump into one week, but the apartment had never seemed more homey than now, warm, anticipating him and Ennis.

Ennis shivered in the pick-up, waiting a good ten minutes after Jack had entered the building. Although the whole place seemed deserted, he finally decided to drive the pick-up about five minutes away, so as to be less conspicuous. It made him feel a bit better, at any rate. Ennis jumped out, jamming his hat down low on his head, shuffling through the slippery snow back to the apartment. As he stood outside the door and knocked, he once again cursed himself for ending up in this incredible situation.

Jack got up from where he was sitting nervously on the couch. He was at the door in three seconds, swinging it open. "Where the hell you been?"

Ennis looked nervously behind him, then took a step through the door, swinging it shut behind him.

Next thing, his arms were full of Jack, Ennis pressing his face into Jack's neck. Finally, Ennis felt he could breathe properly, first time in four weeks.

Jack sighed, his annoyance evaporating as he wrapped Ennis up in his arms. Words bubbled to his tongue, but he clamped his lips shut on them, squeezing harder instead, hoping it accomplished the same thing. They didn't even kiss, just held each other there within an embrace that stopped both time and judging eyes before Jack shifted to drop soft, dry kisses on Ennis's ice cold, stubbled cheek.

"Goddamn," Ennis managed to murmur. It was an entirely inadequate word to describe the feeling of Jack's tight arms. Jack moved his head in, and Ennis felt the kiss. Something hard in Ennis's gut, frozen and tight for the last few weeks, melted. Ennis tightened his grip, pushing Jack backwards a couple of paces, a wall providing a perfect counter-point for his weight against Jack.

Ennis slid his hands up Jack's back, over the cotton fabric, tried to angle his knee in between Jack's legs, attempting to get closer. His hands crept higher, fingers curling under Jack's hair, feeling warm skin under Jack's collar.

Finding it hard to breathe, Ennis tried to speak. "Where's Lureen?" He had so much to say, but the contact after so long was just too much.

"Utah," Jack croaked out. "'Til Sunday night. We're not in a rush if you wanna eat first." He raised his head to afford Ennis any access he desired. Their chests heaved together in some sort of messy unison.

"Eat?" Ennis tried to focus on food but he was already nuzzling into Jack's neck. Ennis was suddenly aware of being barely through the door before he had Jack pinned up against the wall, almost mauling him. Shit. Unable to back away, Ennis held Jack by the shoulders, managing to lean back a bit. "You hungry?"

"Yeah?" Jack said it like it was a question, asking permission to have needs that conflicted with Ennis's. "I graded through lunch, but it's alright. We'll get something later."

Ennis felt his hand move, running over Jack's face, down to his hand. Ennis gripped it firmly, then let go. Stepping backwards, he turned, looking over the apartment to clear his head, fighting the impulses his body was sending. He felt confused. Maybe Jack didn't want to...or, maybe Jack was hungry. In any case, he seemed more in control of the situation than Ennis, whose cock was telling him in no uncertain terms to bend Jack right over where he was standing and just--. Ennis spoke without looking at Jack, "You got a whiskey or something?" He was still cold, needing something to warm him up, take his mind off Jack's body.

Jack watched Ennis, puzzled by the request. "Uh, sure. Or we could do that." Ennis peeled off his winter coat, handing it to Jack, who dropped it on the floor and pushed Ennis in the direction of the kitchen.

"I can make something," Ennis volunteered, moving around to the other side of the table, anything to take his mind off Jack. He ducked his head, looking at Jack out of the corner of his eye. Unfortunately his gaze seemed to fall directly on Jack's groin, the denim molding to the join between Jack's thighs and the bulge-- shit. Not a good idea.

Ennis opened the fridge, randomly scanning the food without really seeing it.

"Yeah?," Jack asked. He had been noticing Ennis watching his groin, and had missed the comment completely. "I mean, uh, what'd... what was that?"

Ennis, concentrating on the contents of the fridge a bit more carefully now, called over his shoulder, "You got no food in the fridge! What do you eat? Want to get take-out--?" Turning, he stopped, seeing the look in Jack's eyes. "What?"

"Uh, nothing. Just... you, you wanna?" Jack motioned his head towards the bedroom, feeling the eagerness snapping his body to attention, sapping away his hunger already. It'd all come too quick a moment ago, but now...

"What?" Ennis had turned back to the cupboards as Jack hadn't answered, missing the motion of his head. He spied something in the corner. "You got a banana, here. Least that'll hold you over--"

"Yeah, sure, hand me that," Jack muttered, vaguely aware that he ought to eat.

Ennis passed it back distractedly, still scanning the contents of the pantry. The arousal in his groin, fired up at his initial contact with Jack, had dampened down somewhat, at least, much to Ennis's relief.

Jack unwrapped the banana, swallowing big mouthfuls, wanting it done quickly. "Wat thome?," he offered Ennis with a mouthful, holding out only half a banana in Ennis's direction.

Ennis turned and had to laugh at the sight of Jack, stuffing down the banana. "You really were hungry, weren't you? Nah, I'm fine." Ennis was keyed-up and on edge a bit. Food was the last thing on his mind.

Jack stopped chewing, watching Ennis's eyes roam restlessly around the kitchen. Jack figured he wasn't going to starve to death. He tossed the remaining half of the banana onto the kitchen counter and swallowed what was in his mouth in one gag-less gulp, reflecting that he was, in fact, practicing on a banana after all. But he didn't really want to be. "Come 'ere," Jack ordered, his voice breathless and needy.

Ennis's eyes widened. He paused, reassessing the situation. His heart suddenly seemed to be going a hundred times faster. For some reason, the color of Jack's button-down shirt caught his gaze, a dark-red that seemed to highlight Jack's skin. His sleeves were rolled up to the elbow, strong muscular arms folded across his chest. Ennis swallowed, looking up again to meet Jack's eyes. He took a step closer.

Jack couldn't do it any more. The need that had been so strong in Ennis at first had been rising only slowly in Jack. Ennis was being his shy self now, and that always, always made Jack want to slip inside the protective shell. He reached out and snagged a wrist that stuck out of the end of a too-small and faded blue and black plaid western shirt. "When are you going to get some properly-fitting clothes?," Jack asked, his voice low with feeling, emotion, but his touch was not about shirts. He'd moved so quickly at first, but now he moved slowly, turning Ennis's wrist over and brought it to his lips. He kissed the maze of veins that serviced that strong, beautiful hand. Never done anything as sentimental and girlish as that, but Jack found himself with a crazy need to worship this man.

Ennis felt his breath catch as his cock immediately hardened, his hand automatically opening and catching Jack's. Using Jack's grip as a momentum, Ennis pulled the other man hard against him, his other arm roughly pulling up Jack's shirt in a bunch at the back. "I manage just fine," he huskily breathed in Jack's ear, pressing his groin harder against Jack's thigh.

Jack could only manage a groan, and then he was flipping open his own fly, forgetting that he was even in the kitchen. His pants were over his thighs, his penis tenting out the front of his underwear as if wanting to present itself for inspection. The blood surged hard through Jack's body, made his hands tingle, his face flush hot, his dick pound hard. While Ennis was stalled, bewildered by Jack's sudden movement, Jack lifted himself over his underwear. His shirt hung against his cock, nearly the same color now, and, chest about to explode with excitement, Jack struggled to voice his thoughts. "You like it? 'S all yours, Ennis. Comes attached to my loud mouth, unfortunately, but it..." Jack followed Ennis's gaze down to his dick. He stroked himself a few times while Ennis watched. "I think it likes you, anyway," he rasped out between fights to draw in breath.

Ennis stared, hypnotized by the sight of Jack's cock and that masculine hand over it, giving long, firm strokes. He felt lightheaded, as if all of the oxygen in the room had suddenly dissipated. Ennis heard a sound emerge from his mouth, almost a growl at the sight of Jack, wringing it out. Just like Ennis had been doing, night after night, nothing but Jack in his thoughts, hissing Jack's name under his breath as he came. It was too much.

"Goddamn," Ennis heard himself start to say but then he was up hard against Jack, one hand covering Jack's, squeezing that rigid thickness, the other hand tightening on the back of Jack's neck. Ennis opened his mouth over Jack's, tasting sweet banana, and Jack's tongue was moving against his, oh god. Ennis's cock was grinding against Jack's thigh, and he was suddenly certain he was just about to come in his jeans.

Jack wanted to do something more, or else, but there was no rush, no need to do everything at once, and Ennis's hand was on his. Together, they were working him higher. Jack moved Ennis's hand towards the wet tip, and took hold of the base himself. Their hands brushed on every painfully needful stroke as Jack literally grunted into Ennis's kiss.

Ennis's cock was pounding a hole in his jeans with the need to get free. He broke the kiss, working frantically at his belt. Ennis had thought of nothing else for weeks, of being up behind Jack, taking what he wanted most. Looking distractedly round the kitchen, Ennis tried to think of what would come to mind that would work. "What can I use?"

Jack's mouth hung open. He was watching Ennis's red, bruised lips, trying to get his frazzled brain to catch up with Ennis's meaning. "Uh. Oh, uh. Butter. Margarine. There's a, uh, tub in the fridge."

Margarine? Ennis hadn't ever thought of such a thing, but who the hell cared at a time like this? He kicked off his jeans, wrenching the door open and coating the slippery substance all over his fingers. Jack had turned, jeans around his ankles and was leaning his upper body forward, forehead resting against the wall. Ennis felt his breath catch as he moved up behind Jack, let his fingers slip between Jack's ass. He could feel the jolt go through Jack's body when his fingers touched their goal.

Jack closed his eyes and braced against the familiar, wonderful, perfect sensation of Ennis entering him. They found a rhythm quickly despite the long absence of this from both of their lives. They had not forgotten how to move together. They also had not forgotten how to fly together, as both men orgasmed in sync, dropping spilling and spent to the cold linoleum.

</lj>

This Land is Your Land: Chapter Twenty-Seven

Wed, 02 Jan 2008 00:32:53 GMT

This Land Is Your Land - Chapter Twenty-Seven

Authors: lolitaray (Ennis) and planetgal471(Jack)
Rating: NC17 on/off through the fic
Disclaimer: Brokeback Mountain is the creation of Annie Proulx, and no profit is being made off of the sharing of this work. We do this for enjoyment only.
Summary: Ennis is a high-school drop-out giving it a final go. Jack is an enigmatic history teacher. This is a modern-day AU!AU. In this story, POVs are intermingled. Hopefully this is not too confusing to the readers.
Warnings: The story within contains adult themes, including but not limited to: explicit m/m sex, teacher/student relationships involving the high school level, cursing, and descriptions of violence, including sexual violence. This has been written for fun, but we understand that not everyone may enjoy it. Just scroll past!
Authors' Notes: Feedback is so appreciated! This chapter is shorter than usual, just seemed to fit that way.

View All Chapters

The days that followed were harrowing as Jack was extra careful to avoid any contact with Ennis. He hoped Ennis didn't notice, or that if Ennis did notice, he didn't take it personally. Hell, Ennis probably approved. Either way, Jack pulled his weight and kept his head down.

* * * *

Ennis stood at the jewelry counter, in the same position he'd been in for the last half hour, brow furrowed in concentration. The bent octogenarian sales clerk had long since shuffled back to his stool, secure in the knowledge that he wouldn't have to leave it any time soon.

There was only a small selection of trinkets at the counter but Ennis was already bewildered by the range. He was trying to make an effort for Valentine's Day. Alma, for some reason, had been impossible to contact in the last couple weeks. Ennis had been happy to let it slip by the wayside, but in the past few days, he had started to wonder what was going on. This should do the trick, for sure.

There was a small gold heart on a thin chain that Ennis liked the look of, on sale. It reminded him of Alma somehow, fragile and delicate.

Ennis glanced up at the window. There were only two jewelry shops in Riverton and although this was the smallest, they were going all out. Gaudy pink balloons and love hearts adorned the frame. A big sign declared the need to 'Give your sweetheart something special.'

Ennis stood, pondering the need for something as silly as Valentine's Day. Just made for the ladies, it seemed. Something occurred to him and he bit at a hang nail uncertainly. Surely... surely Jack wouldn't expect some silly thing like this. That was ridiculous. Jack was a man.

Ennis returned to inspecting the display but for some stupid reason, he just couldn't get Jack out of his head. Thoughts kept returning over and over, those stupid words that had come out of Jack's mouth...the way he would push himself up on his elbow, stroking through Ennis's hair with that tender expression...

"How're you going there, son?"

Ennis jumped. "Um--" he pointed at the necklace, "I'll guess I'll take that and--er--do you have something for men? Got a friend's birthday coming up."

"Certainly!" The salesman pushed himself off the stool, shuffling over to another open cabinet. Ennis, drawn against his will, followed.

He saw it at once: a shining silver compass, at least three times the price of Alma's necklace. It reminded Ennis irrevocably of their time at Wind River Range, the camping plans for the future, the Tetons. Ennis pointed it out at once. "I'll take that. Uh--do you have engraving?"

"Of course." The clerk smiled, removing the shining compass, polishing it off on his shirt, then holding it up to the light. It sparkled silver, catching Ennis's eyes as it turned.

* * * *

Tuesday morning was Valentine's Day and Ennis, lingering outside of the history classroom, was startled when he tried the door and the handle turned. He didn't think twice to enter the empty classroom, putting his faith into the arms of Fate. Ennis had wrapped the compass in a piece of leather cloth, impossible to miss. He just hoped Jack wouldn't think he was too much of stupid fool. No more than Ennis thought it of himself, though. He already knew he was beyond redemption.

Ennis bit his lips, imagining Jack's reaction at the words engraved on the silver.

Jack

So you'll never be lost

Ennis

* * * *

"I'm so sorry I got a leave early, Bill. Ennis said he wanted to spend a bit of time with me."

Monroe's face split into a broad smile. "Alma, it's no problem at all. I haven't seen Ennis as much, lately. Wondered if all was well."

"Fine." Alma made a weak attempt to give the sink a better wipe over. It was way too early for her general finishing hours, but Ennis had rang up the night before, and it was Valentine's Day. He had sounded both secretive and proud on the phone, talking about her gift. Alma tried and failed to suppress a girlish thrill of what he might have gotten her.

"I feel like it's my fault." Monroe's face was so open, Alma could read every nuance he was feeling. So different from Ennis, she mused. "I know I've been asking you to work more hours, Alma, and it's not fair, what with your wedding coming up and all--"

"Please, Bill. You know I'm always here to help you out." Alma looked hesitant. "Can I ask you something though?"

"Of course."

Bill looked pleasantly surprised to be taken into Alma's confidence, and Alma felt her heart sink. Just what could she really say to Bill when all was said and done?

Particularly since he hadn't exactly had much experience with love. Her father, when he'd had too much to drink, felt free to berate Alma for choosing Ennis when he said it was plain as the nose on her face that Bill was chasing her, but Alma had never really seen it. Or felt it all that much, either.

Alma hesitated, torn between the need to confide her fears, and the desire to protect her man. She paused, stuttering a bit over the words. "Bill...how do you know if a man really loves you?"

Bill looked completely taken aback at her words and Alma's heart sank. "That's not something you got to worry about with Ennis, Alma. I guess he wouldn't be marrying you, if it wasn't so."

Bill moved to the back of the kitchen, bringing out a small pot of cheap flowers, Alma guessed from Wal-mart.

"I didn't know if Ennis would get caught up today or not, Alma, so I got you something small. Just as friends, of course."

Alma took the wilting plant, smiling half-heartedly. "Thanks, Bill," she said slowly. Looked like she needed to give her father more credit. Alma couldn't help but sneak one more glance out of the window. The weather was finally starting to clear, and high time too, it being half-way through February. She needed to talk to Ennis, when he arrived. Find out just what was going to be happening after the wedding.

* * * *

When Jack got into school Tuesday, the classroom was sweltering. He pulled at his long-sleeve shirt, popping open buttons, rolling the cuffs up to his elbows. This was ridiculous. He slipped his grade book into a drawer and locked it, leaving the door open for just a moment, and slipped across the hall to ask Diana, the Civics teacher, if she was having a similar problem. She was. They played with the vents for a few minutes, but didn't have any luck. When students started arriving for her class, they decided that Diana, being on somewhat better terms with the principal, would see what she could do to get it fixed when she had her planning period. Jack thanked her and headed back to his room, already accumulating its round of students for the morning.

He hadn't even realized, until he looked around the classroom as students arrived and saw the girls with flowers in their hands or hair and the boys carrying presents, that it was Valentine's Day. Jack watched them with bemusement. Ennis came in, head down. Jack averted his gaze and they went back to the avoidance they'd been practicing day in and day out now.

The late bell rang, and Jack turned to his desk to grab the single page of notes he needed for today's discussion. They were supposed to be well past the Civil War now, but Jack found he'd dragged over it a bit, it being a favorite topic of his, and now he was behind.

On top of his notes, though, Jack faltered when he saw a small leather-clad package. He was mid-sentence talking about Reconstruction after the Civil War, about Carpet-baggers and Redeemers, when he reached out and felt the soft leather, like the hide of a horse in high summer. The leather fell away along with the end of Jack's sentence, forgotten in a blaze of silver, as the item inside emerged.

Jack totally forgot the classroom, the restless muttering of students wondering what was going on with their teacher, as he gazed down on the silver compass. He held it flat in his palm. The larger, red end pointed due North, sending a silver sparkle of light as it moved. Jack's mouth dropped open and he turned it over.

Jack

So you'll never be lost

Ennis

Jack felt his eyes burn and he licked his lips. The class had been steadily ignoring him, their volume rising as they chatted amongst themselves. No one was watching him. No, that wasn't true. One person was watching him. But Jack couldn't meet his eyes. If he did, there was no way he could finish this lecture. Instead, he slipped the compass into his pocket, cleared his tight throat, and fished in his thoughts for the direction he'd been heading. He was lost alright. Long, long lost beyond the help of any earthly tool.

* * *

"If you're at the diner this afternoon, want to hang out, Ennis?"

"Don't be stupid, Chuck, it's Valentine's Day! Ennis will be seeing Alma!"

"Huh?" Ennis blinked his eyes away from Jack, trying to focus. It was enough. Jack's reaction as he saw the compass set up a warm glow in his heart. Ennis was deeply grateful for the fact Jack hadn't looked up. He knew only too well what happened in such emotionally charged moments, and didn't think the class would appreciate what would surely follow if Ennis lost control. Ennis's groin pulsed hungrily as he saw Jack swallow, the dip of that smooth line of his throat. He had to turn his head away, for both of their sakes. Goddamn. Ennis felt he had been in the desert for nigh over a month, and he was supposed to ignore the lushest oasis in front of him. For how long? Ennis had no idea.

Jack moved stiffly to his stool with his notes, fighting off an approaching hard-on. He focused on Aguirre, and imagined him as a white supremacist Redeemer. Too bad it wasn't much of a stretch. Still, it killed the warmth welling in his gut.

"Um," Jack cleared his throat loudly. "Hey. Alright. Sorry about that. Let's get back to business." He raised his voice to thunder over those of the students, but still didn't dare raise his eyes. He spoke about Reconstruction quickly, and then Jack had them do a group exercise on Primary Sources versus Secondary Sources, 'cause he had an essay assignment planned. The room was still five thousand degrees, but the events of the morning only served to make the heat more uncomfortable. Jack was gulping for air and grateful by the time the bell rang dismissing class.

Ennis was one of the first to move, galvanized by the sound of the bell. He pushed past Chuck's surprised face, his bag clutched protectively over his groin.

"Bathroom," Ennis managed to gasp before he broke into a run. He could feel the slick beads of sweat on the back on his neck as he jogged down the hallway, his heart beating hard in his chest.

Banging through the door, Ennis looked around somewhat wildly, thankful that the bathroom seemed unoccupied. It only took a second to choose a vacant cubicle and then Ennis was kneeling upon the cool tiles, legs sprawled and hands down his pants.

Jack was already in his head, not in front of the class looking at the compass but naked and lying on the hotel bed, gazing at Ennis sleepily through those eyelashes, smiling that special smile. Ennis clenched his jaw to stifle a moan, his hand working furiously over his slick, wet cock, head banging back against the thin cubicle wall as the orgasm jolted out of him only a brief moment later.

"Jesus." Raggedly taking a breath, Ennis started to clean up the evidence. His exit was considerably more composed than his entry, and, although late for the next class, he found he was more than excused by his classmates' explanation of his bad stomach.

Ennis didn't know when it was all going to end. It scared the absolute piss out of him. Having to jerk off in the middle of the day, just because your queer lover seemed to like the Valentine's Day gift you'd picked? When the hell did this kind of thing happen in Riverton? All he knew was he had no grip on the situation when it came to Jack, no grip at all. God knew where this would finish.

* * * *

To Ennis's surprise, when he walked into the diner, there was no sign of Alma. Ennis was standing at the counter, looking around puzzled, when Mary came out of the kitchen.

"Hey Ennis. You after Alma? Bill took her across the road for a drink."

"Huh?" Ennis frowned, confused. Alma never drank, except for a glass of wine at Christmas.

"She got some bad news about her Auntie Jo. And she finished work an hour ago, but you must have been held back at school. You got detention?" Mary smiled, giving Ennis a cheeky glance. She liked trying to get a rise out of the strong, silent cowboy. Always the quiet types that were the most passionate, she reflected.

"No, but I got held back," Ennis admitted. He had hung around after school, debating whether or not to go after Jack. In the end, he had decided it was by far too dangerous an idea, making his way to the diner instead.

"On Valentine's day? That school a yours..." Mary clucked her tongue, smiling as Ennis nodded, making his way to the door.

* * * *

"I appreciate this Bill, but it wasn't necessary." Alma's slender fingers traced the wine glass uncertainly. Her cheeks had flushed a delicate rose pink, both from the alcohol and the heat of the bar.

"Well, it's a shock, finding out a family member isn't well," Monroe declared, keeping an eye on his half glass of beer. He smiled at Alma,reminding her of a big friendly puppy. "And you've spent more time in that diner than me lately. No need to hang around waiting for Ennis when you're not getting paid for it. Is he taking you out to dinner tonight for Valentines Day?"

"I guess not," Alma remarked, neglecting to add the fact that going out to dinner had only happened once during the time she'd dated Ennis. Not that she minded, of course. She was marrying Ennis for himself, not his money. Still, it was nice of Bill to think of her. "He must have been held up at school." Trying not to think of the reason why, Alma took another swallow of her wine.

Both turned their heads as the door opened and a gust of wind blew in with Ennis. Alma flushed with embarrassment, although she told herself there was nothing at all wrong in enjoying a drink every now and again. Monroe was her boss and it was very kind of him.

"Ennis! How's schooling going?"
·
"Fine." Ennis was about to sit down next to Alma but his gaze caught the bar, and he appeared to change his mind. "Just get a drink and I'll be back, Alma." He took a couple of steps, and returned to give her an awkward peck on the cheek. Monroe and Alma sat in silence, watching him at the bar.

Monroe cleared his throat. "I best be getting back."

"Oh, no, Bill." Alma looked distressed. "You don't have to, really."

Shaking his head, Monroe stood. "Don't want to be in the way, Alma. I'll see you tomorrow, I guess." Patting Alma on the shoulder awkwardly, he left, leaving her waiting for a good further five minutes for Ennis. Ennis finally returned with a beer and Alma frowned. "You shouldn't be getting drinks, Ennis. Monroe bought me one but you're not old enough to buy them, yet."

"Oh for Christ sake--," Ennis began, then made an effort to rein in his temper. "I know the bartender, Alma, he's a good friend a K.E.'s. And it's one goddamned beer." Sitting, Ennis raked his hand through his head. "I had a hell of a day at school."

"You got any Valentine's?" Alma meant to say it as a joke and hated the cold tone in her voice.

Ennis looked up, startled. "Of course not! And here--" he shifted around on his chair, removing a small package, "This is for you. Happy Valentine's Day, I guess."

"Well, thank you!" Alma was startled at the gesture, even more so when she unwrapped the gift and pulled out the necklace, holding it up as the little gold heart sparkled in the light. "It's beautiful, Ennis, you shouldn't have spent so much money."

Ennis for some reason, flushed. "It ain't nothing," he muttered uncomfortably, taking a big drink of beer. "Sorry I was late, I was--"

"Don't bother about it," Alma interrupted him, not wanting to hear the reason. Ennis was here, now, with her, and as she told herself, that was all that mattered.

The two of them sat for companionably for about an hour, talking about Alma's aunt whose health wasn't the best, and the ranch. Alma made no mention of Ennis's teacher, and Ennis wasn't about to mention it, so the time passed peaceably enough.

It was only later, driving home, that Ennis felt he could finally breath. Back on the ranch, where the animals accepted him for who he was, and K.E. joked around. The rest of the time he felt more and more like a rat in a trap, running round and round, unable to find an escape.

Wed, 26 Dec 2007 03:14:19 GMT

This Land Is Your Land - Chapter Twenty-Six

Authors: lolitaray (Ennis) and planetgal471(Jack)
Rating: NC17 on/off through the fic
Disclaimer: Brokeback Mountain is the creation of Annie Proulx, and no profit is being made off of the sharing of this work. We do this for enjoyment only.
Summary: Ennis is a high-school drop-out giving it a final go. Jack is an enigmatic history teacher. This is a modern-day AU!AU. In this story, POVs are intermingled. Hopefully this is not too confusing to the readers.
Warnings: The story within contains adult themes, including but not limited to: explicit m/m sex, teacher/student relationships involving the high school level, cursing, and descriptions of violence, including sexual violence. This has been written for fun, but we understand that not everyone may enjoy it. Just scroll past!
Authors' Notes: Feedback is so appreciated! This chapter is shorter than usual, just seemed to fit that way.

View All Chapters

Ennis ended up sleeping on the couch, but Jack didn't mind, lending Ennis enough blankets to keep all of Washington's men warm up at Valley Forge. As long as he wasn't driving home in this...

* * * *

Jack woke up early on Sunday and started on eggs. He never made breakfast, but he thought he better take advantage of the opportunity while it presented itself. He and Ennis ate in a silence that exceeded comfortable to downright domestic. How they'd gotten to that spot so quickly was anyone's guess, but likely Lureen's continued absence was a big help. Sunday used to be their day, but now they spent it apart. Jack rubbed a warm circle on Ennis's back before sending him out into the cold.

Monday morning at school was a bit of a disaster. Jack hadn't erased the mess on the board where Ennis had pressed him hard against it, and couldn't yet bring himself too. When lecturing he couldn't even look at Ennis. He was still limping around on his ankle. He saw Aguirre in the hallway and basically hopped the other way so fast, probably looking like a moron on one foot.

Tuesday was better. Still hadn't erased the board, but he could look at Ennis again. Jack'd thought about it long and hard, and realized that maybe at the college level this happened to people all the time. His personal problem was that he and Ennis were so damned unacknowledged and secret. So he imagined that there was no secret, and Ennis had a lesson to learn just like everyone else. That made the situation tolerable.

Wednesday, he managed to erase the board. He didn't need shit mementos; he had the real deal.

The weekend eventually came and went without Ennis to spice it up. Jack imagined him sitting stiffly in Alma's well-decorated living room, holding her pale little hand like he'd seen them do. But now, whenever Ennis sat there, he'd be forced to think of the ghost of Jack's presence in the easy chair, and that gave Jack some relief.

Another week passed. Jack and Ennis exchanged glances sometimes, glances full of emotions when no one was looking, but void of words or actions. Sometimes Jack worried that even the emotions were in his own mind, but Ennis had held his hand and called him darlin'. When the days grew dark he held onto those images as tightly as he could.

By the third week, Jack was drowning in need. He was dying to approach Ennis, to ask him to share their lunch period together, but Jack was terrified of arousing Aguirre's suspicion even more than it was, so he took his lunch in the teacher's lounge like always.

That's how the rumor first came to fall on his ears, turning his blood cold.

"So," Cindy blinked over her soda bottle and under her bifocals, "Aguirre has it in his head that there's a teacher having a romantic affair with a student."

"Aguirre's an ass," Mike moaned.

"Said he saw them at the teacher's place...," Cindy led on.

"Did Aguirre say who?," Jack tried to fake general disinterest as he munched on a sandwich.

"Nah," Cindy sighed.

"Then he's probably just lying. There isn't enough drama around here for him, so he makes it up," LaShawn chided.

Jack nodded in agreement, along with a half dozen other teachers, thankful to whatever God his mother prayed to day in and day out that the teachers didn't believe Aguirre, but he knew and felt the weight of the "yet" on that sentence. He and Ennis were walking on eggshells now, if they hadn't been before.

* * *

At first, Ennis thought he was imagining things. It was a strange feeling, the sensation of hair prickling on the back of his neck. Ennis would turn his head around and he'd catch a glimpse of Aguirre fixing him with a silent, cold stare before the man would walk away.

Finally, Ennis cornered Jack after class, anxious to get some reassurance. Standing with the desk between them, Ennis felt a tide of anticipation for their next meet up, although it was in the distant future, their camping trip to the Tetons still eight weeks away. Jack looked surprised to see Ennis remain behind, and Ennis couldn't blame him for that. He'd been real careful, hardly even looking at Jack, giving no one a thing to even wonder about. K.E. was in great form, and things were almost normal between them again. And Alma...well, Ennis didn't want to think about Alma just now.

"I need to ask you something, about Aguirre," Ennis half-whispered in a low monotone. "I've just got the feeling lately that he looks at me strange. Like he knows. What do you think?"

Jack frowned up at Ennis for a long time before he shrugged and began shuffling papers, moving around, anything to not look in Ennis's direction. "Don't see how that could be. Don't worry yourself over nothing."

Ennis nodded, speaking softly. "Okay. Well. How've you been?" Ennis felt he could hardly get the words out right. It had just been too damn long. At night, wringing it out over and again, Ennis could barely get his hand down his pants before Jack's luminous blue eyes were steadfast in his mind, Jack's mouth, Jack's tongue...Jack, Jack, Jack. It would all recede into one delicious fantasy, always ending with Ennis gasping and thrusting frantically into his hand.

At school, he managed to shut it off, not to look at Jack hardly at all. But now, with the full graceful length of Jack in front of him, Ennis found it harder than anything not to just reach out and push Jack onto that desk and-- Ennis gulped, trying to avert his eyes away from Jack and said desk. Jesus. H. It had been a long four weeks. Too long, by half.

Jack paused mid-shuffle, dropping the paper and watching Ennis closely. "I'm alright." He turned his attention back to the papers at hand with a sigh. "I'm hanging in there, anyway. You?"

Ennis shifted back a bit on his heels, his gaze following the sweep of Jack's eyelashes as his teacher lowered his head to look away. Jack shifted his weight and Ennis immediately noted the tightness of his jeans. If Ennis didn't know better, he'd think he was doing it on purpose.

Ennis swallowed, mouth suddenly dry. Four goddamned weeks and not able to so much as touch or hardly look at Jack. Goddamned bitch of a situation.

"I'm doing fine," Ennis said tightly.

"That's good to hear." Jack's vision lingered too long on Ennis's answering shy smile, but they were interrupted once again by the early bell. Students would be arriving shortly. There was never enough time, never enough.

Ennis caught himself smiling at Jack, and grimaced at himself. Suddenly overcome with a mixed feeling of loneliness, need and shame, he set his mouth, walking out the door. Turning right, intent on his next class, anything to get the sight of Jack's graceful frame out of his head, Ennis abruptly halted. Aguirre was standing there, big belly hanging out over his slacks, hands hooked through the loops of his belt. Nothing to worry about? Ennis's stomach rolled over at the look of disgust in Aguirre's eyes. This wasn't just about him being a poor ranch student. There was something else in his stare, a mocking derision that Ennis had seen many a time. On his father's face as he looked down at Earl. On K.E's face that night. On the drunk in the bar, speaking of Jack.

Ennis dropped his head and continued to walk, heart beating faster.

* * * *

Jack was just opening up his Tupperware of fruit salad when his door swung open with a pompous clang. Aguirre stood in the rectangle glowering at him.

"What in hell are you eating, there, Twist? Goddamned piece a fruit for lunch?" Aguirre sniffed scornfully, advancing further into the room.

Jack eyed the medley of out-of-season color from topical regions before scowling up at Aguirre. He had to make nice, though. This was his boss. "Something I can do for you, sir?"

"Yeah. I got a problem, Twist. That I do." Aguirre stretched his arms out long, cracking his knuckles loudly. He sighed, as if even talking to Jack was just one more hardship in his life. "Seem to be getting real friendly with the locals, this year, Twist." Aguirre narrowed his eyes as he stood over Jack. "Real friendly. With the school boys. One in particular, it seems."

Jack held himself still. He'd played a mean hand of poker in college, and it was going to serve him well now. He knew Aguirre had nothing on him. The only people who knew shit were K.E. and Lureen. No way K.E. was going to spread such news about his little brother around town, and Lureen hadn't told anyone, so that meant Aguirre's accusations were based on what he'd seen around school and what he'd seen at Jack's apartment, and all of that had innocent explanations and witnesses.

Jack wasn't sure if Aguirre had closed the classroom door behind him, but he fought the urge to look, knowing that would give away his guilt.

"Are you talking about my tutoring the del Mar boy?" Jack cut to the chase, waylaying Aguirre's rabbit-chase by not playing the rabbit.

Aguirre's eyes flashed for just a second as he found himself caught off-guard, but he recovered gamely.

"Tutoring that little piss-ant?" Turning his head to spit, Aguirre realized only just in time he was in that faggot Twist's classroom. "They ain't got no money for lessons."

"I didn't think it would be right to charge money to help a student pass my class. Not that you can take exception, since I'm no longer tutoring him anyway. His grade improved and he doesn't need it."

Aguirre looked at Jack in disbelief but had to content himself with a disdainful snort of contempt.

"Well, you ain't being paid out a work hours, maybe, but that ain't a reason to be seen with your hands all over a student." Lowering his face next to Jack's, Aguirre spoke with ominous intent. "I had no idea what you were when I hired you last year, Twist, but I'll tell you one thing straight. I got my eye on you, and I'll be waiting."

Jack's eyebrows knit together, and a little devil rose up in him. "Well, if you didn't know what I was, it's lucky for you that you ended up with a history teacher for your history class, since that's what I am. Now if you're done, sir, I have some history teaching to prepare for." Jack turned his attention back to the notes he had at hand.

Aguirre gritted his teeth, fists clenching. He was dying to spit, but had to content himself with hawking in disgust low in his throat.

Before he turned heavily to leave however, he managed to come up with one more parting shot. "You can look at me all innocent, Twist, but I know, more than most. And I'm onto that no good little faggot drop out, as well. Oh yes, I'm going to take care of him. Don't you worry none about that." Aguirre saw something flash into Jack's eyes at the mention of Ennis, and deeply satisfied, he then left the classroom.

Jack exhaled for what seemed like the first time since Aguirre'd shown up in his doorway. He tried to convince himself that the old man was posturing. Going after Ennis was a dirty trick, and one Jack wouldn't allow, but probably not was Aguirre would do any case. It was hard to come down on a student for a teacher's indiscretion. Jack was only holding a pair of deuces, but he had bluffed his way to a jackpot with a lesser hand before.

Aguirre, Jack figured, had a flush. Hearts. Bright red. He better get himself to a doctor pretty soon from the color his cheeks had turned for a moment there. Jack shook his head, ridding himself of the encounter-- for the time being.

This Land is Your Land: Chapter Twenty-Five

Thu, 13 Dec 2007 04:32:42 GMT

This Land Is Your Land - Chapter Twenty-Five

Authors: lolitaray (Ennis) and planetgal471(Jack)
Rating: NC17
Disclaimer: Brokeback Mountain is the creation of Annie Proulx, and no profit is being made off of the sharing of this work. We do this for enjoyment only.
Summary: Ennis is a high-school drop-out giving it a final go. Jack is an enigmatic history teacher. This is a modern-day AU!AU. In this story, POVs are intermingled. Hopefully this is not too confusing to the readers.
Warnings: The story within contains adult themes, including but not limited to: explicit m/m sex, teacher/student relationships involving the high school level, cursing, and descriptions of violence, including sexual violence. This has been written for fun, but we understand that not everyone may enjoy it. Just scroll past!
Authors' Notes: Feedback is so appreciated!

View All Chapters

This Land is Your Land: Chapter Twenty-Five

"Well." Mrs. Beers stood, hands on hips, looking down at Jack's barely touched cocoa. "I don't think Ennis had to rush off quite so fast. Is his teacher single, Alma? Looked like he needed a bit of looking after, if you ask me."

Mr. Beers grunted from within the confines of his armchair at that comment but Alma continued to stare at the closed door, hands clenched protectively over Ennis's empty mug.

"Alma? Are you listening? Is Ennis's teacher single, I asked?"

Alma didn't turn her head, but some quiet awareness returned to her eyes and she was able to answer quite composedly. "No, Mom. He's not."

"Hmmph." Judgment confirmed, Mrs. Beers was happy to drop the subject of Mr. Twist for the time being, for which Alma was devoutly thankful. Looking resignedly at her husband, Mrs. Beers continued. "Should have offered Ennis to stay the night, Frank. Don't see how he can get home safe in this kind a weather." Mrs. Beers gestured out the window to illustrate her point. "Practically a blizzard, now."

Mr. Beers snorted, brushing aside the suggestion. "He's grown up in this kind a weather! What do you want me to do?"

Alma had heard enough. With a muttered excuse, she went up the stairs and into her small room, the walls pasted with pictures of her favorite stars and photos of Ennis. It was quiet and cold, the boards creaking beneath beneath her feet, but Alma had no wish to turn on the radio or get into bed. She sat on the window seat, looking out onto the bare road, her hot cheek pressed against the chilly glass.

"Who was that, leaving with Ennis?"

Alma shut her eyes, not turning her head. "I don't feel like talking now, Mellie."

Alma's younger sister sighed irritably. "I missed out. I couldn't help it if Sandra called! I tried to get off the phone..." She came over and sat beside Alma, also looking down onto the road. Alma didn't rebuff her again, and encouraged by this, Mellie continued. "Who was it, Alma?"

"Ennis's teacher."

"He's cute." Mellie giggled, and Alma, without turning, frowned in frustration.

"For gods sake, you're ten years old, Mellie."

"So? Where was Ennis taking him? Why did Ennis have his arms around his teacher? Alma? What's a matter?"

"He hurt his ankle." Alma took a deep breath. "Please go away, Mellie. I just want to be alone for a bit."

Alma felt she was frozen inside, the thaw not melting in the slightest, although her thoughts were scattering around her head like a scared flight of birds. She could hear Mellie leave, and was silently grateful, trying to make sense of it all.

It was like the time Ennis had taken her bowling, showing Alma so patiently over and over how to hold the ball right, how to line it up to hit the pins. Alma had been nervous, turning her head again and again to see Ennis, his deep brown eyes giving her that much needed reassurance as he smiled at her. Naturally athletic, with an eye for shooting any kind of wildlife, Ennis had no problems bringing them all down, almost every time.

"You just have to line it up, and watch them closely," he had said, as Alma, getting more and more flustered, had almost dropped the ball in the gutter. "Relax and focus, you'll see. It'll all come together." And it was true, she had found. Alma had concentrated on the pins, and let it all flow, and the next thing she knew she had knocked down almost half. She had turned quickly back to Ennis, her heart almost beating out of her chest at his returning grin.

It was the same, tonight. Like her eyes were finally opened, the comments from that Lureen woman, combined with Ennis, refusing to not hear one word against his teacher, plus the fact he hardly even liked to speak of Mr. Twist. Alma had sat, looking at Ennis's teacher, and it was like a locked book had opened and Alma suddenly had the answers, whether she wanted them or not.

That man, Mr. Twist had looked up, staring at Ennis's hand holding hers, and his whole face had changed as Alma watched. Not only that, he could barely reply to her Daddy. He couldn't hide a thing. Alma saw the shock and, she could hardly understand it, but she would have sworn she saw betrayal in those luminous blue eyes. Alma, bewildered, had been trying to make sense of it all, reconcile herself to the fact that maybe Lureen was right, Ennis's gay teacher had a crush, when the unthinkable happened: Ennis, her Ennis, had looked up, obviously catching his teacher's gaze, and had ripped his hand away from Alma's like a guilty child. Alma had shot him a look, trying to catch his eye, but Ennis wouldn't even glance at her. He just kept on looking away but Alma would catch him shooting glance after glance at Mr. Twist like he just couldn't help himself. And that's when the balls hit the pins and Alma felt her heart speed up, frozen and incredulous, thinking the unthinkable. Ennis couldn't...Ennis wouldn't, ever.

But Alma didn't know anything for sure. All she knew was that she'd never seen the look in Ennis's eyes before that she saw when Mr. Twist groaned trying to get that shoe back on over his foot. Ennis had spoken to him as if Alma wasn't even in the room. Alma pressed her fingers over her temple bones, forced herself to breathe quietly. There was nothing to it. Ennis was being kind. The wedding...the wedding was less than fifteen weeks away, planned down to the last flower for the men's buttonholes. Alma knew that Ennis hadn't been that excited talking about the wedding, but few men were, she guessed.

But this...Alma felt a desperate longing to confide in someone, to get reassurance, but there was nobody she could remotely talk to that wouldn't gossip. Alma felt her face blush crimson with humiliation at the thought of this kind of news getting out, these dirty suspicions. And what proof did she have, after all was said and done? The way Ennis looked at his teacher? She had to get a grip. This was Ennis, of all people, that she was thinking about.

Rising wearily, Alma drew the curtains, listlessly walking around, putting clothes away. Maybe she could talk to Bill about it all. Ennis didn't know Monroe that well, and he was loyal to a fault, would never say a word. Maybe he'd even take Ennis out for a beer, talk about the wedding. Alma felt a sense of security and relief at the idea. Bill would help her out, she just knew it.

* * * *

Ennis gave pause as they reached the apartment, unable to resist brushing flakes of snow out of Jack's hair. "Guess I should be going," he said, wishing he could stay longer. "Just get you in and settled."

Ennis was enjoying Jack's weight, and although he wouldn't have wished the injury on him, their proximity made his mind go elsewhere, thoughts of Jack having to be assisted into the shower by Ennis, for instance. Although it was only Jack's ankle that was sprained, Ennis imagined Jack would have to support himself with both hands. It would be a simple matter to take the soap and...Ennis blinked as his cock, growing hard, reminded him of the dangers of such thoughts.

"Uh, Lureen's home, right?" he asked feebly as Jack pushed the door open, then cursed himself. Of course she was. And if Jack was hungry, sounded like Lureen would be too.

"Yeah, come on in," Jack nodded towards the warm interior and tried to drag Ennis. "She won't bite. Not you anyway. I'm the one who never came home with her food."

Ennis squared his shoulders, then entered, wincing as Jack let out a moan of pain. Lureen, who'd apparently been sitting in front of the television, was already on her feet, mouth open, about to speak. Her words were broken off as she took in the sight of Jack, wet and sodden, hobbling and hanging heavily onto Ennis.

"Uh... I ordered pizza. I mean, are you ok?"

Jack nodded, dismissing Lureen's helpful arm, and letting Ennis guide him to the couch. Lureen cleared some of her paperwork off the coffee table and Jack gladly propped his foot up.

"Ennis, right?" Lureen stood by, looking seriously onto the scene.

"Uh, yes," Ennis mumbled, wishing he could turn tail and flee. "Jack hurt his ankle. At Alma's house." Realizing how that sounded, Ennis felt himself flush. Last he'd heard of Lureen, she'd basically told Alma that Jack was after him. Ennis had no idea what Jack had told her since that. He had no idea how to act around her, still suspicious of her motives. "I guess I, uh, best be going now."

Jack reached up and grabbed Ennis's hand shamelessly. "Don't. Sit. Have some pizza?" He wasn't even thinking about the storm raging outside or the snow piling up higher as the hours wore on.

Lureen nodded. "I have some beer, too. Why don't you stay? I'll get the food, and... Jack, maybe you should change into something dryer."

"Yeah..." Jack sighed, and climbed back to his feet wearily. He was working on not much sleep, and no shower, no food. His wet pants were not really the foremost of his worries. "Come on, Ennis, help me get some different pants on."

Ennis gaped, shooting a panic stricken look at Lureen, at the same time sharply pulling his hand free, backing off a pace. What the fuck was Jack playing at? "I--uh--" Ennis stumbled over the words, tongue tied. "I guess you'd prefer to have Lureen help."

Lureen laughed and waved them off as she walked into the kitchen. Jack laughed as well. "You can give it up, Ennis, she knows. I told you, she's my best friend. She understands, though. She won't tell anyone." Jack added in a whisper, "Mostly she's jealous of you. I think she's still in love with me. But I made it clear to her that that's a lost cause." Hit hitched his arm around Ennis's neck again. "Come on, you gonna help me to the bedroom, or what?"

Ennis threw Jack a look of plain and outright disbelief. Sure. He could have told Jack that Lureen was still in love with him, a fool could see that writing on the wall. He couldn't see how that was going to stop her spreading it all over Riverton, however.

"Shit, Jack." Ennis wasn't sure of which way to act but Jack's muffled groan went straight to his heart. "Stop talking, you fool. Once you're in the bedroom, though, I'm coming straight back out here."

When they got to the bedroom, Jack closed the door hard behind them. His patience had about worn through.

"Ennis," Jack balanced on one foot, facing off a clearly-annoyed Ennis, "Have you thought about what it would be like to be in a place where you could just be yourself? No lies, no tricks, no trying to keep your story straight, no worrying about what anything looks like. Just pizza and beer." Jack waved an arm in frustration. "Now I understand if you don't feel comfortable having sex with Lureen around, but last time I checked, there was nothing illicit about eating damned pizza! You go eat dinners with Alma all the time, I bet. But I don't fucking get that. If you want to leave, go, but you are an asshole to turn down what Lureen and I are offering you here. It's a gift." Jack opened the door behind himself and slammed it again for emphases before he hopped aside on one foot, clearing a path for Ennis to leave the room. He didn't even watch to see what Ennis would do, but leaned over into a drawer to pull out a pair of sweats.

Ennis stared, dumbfounded, as Jack turned his back, busying himself in the drawer. It wasn't really the pizza and beers that had Ennis worried. It was Lureen, who Ennis knew would be watching every move he made like a hawk, eyes judging Ennis, imagining just what Ennis was doing with her ex-fiance. It was what would happen, if she did let that tongue of hers slip, and people heard tell of how Ennis had been hanging out with his teacher at their apartment.

Sighing, Ennis looked out at the thick snow. Wasn't like he'd have a chance in hell of making it back to the ranch now, anyways. Ennis was sick to death of trying to look out for Jack and himself, shaken up by the whole stressful hour at Alma's. Who the fuck was Jack calling an asshole, anyways?

Ennis found himself going up behind Jack, grasping him hard by both shoulders, effectively preventing him moving. At the same time, Ennis made sure he was supporting Jack, mindful of the pain in his ankle. The whole strain of the evening circling in his chest, Ennis let one hand slip, grabbing Jack's hip, his hips thrusting against the man. "It's not the goddamn beer and pizza I was worried about," he gritted out between his teeth, Jack's wet skin, despite being frozen, an instant arousal point for Ennis.

Jack's breath screamed in and out of his mouth. He tried to catch enough of it to ask, "What is it, then?" over his shoulder.

Ennis sighed, steeling himself not to thrust again, although all he wanted to do was push Jack onto the bed and sink into him. If Lureen wasn't in the other room...

He let his head drop on Jack's firm back, feeling the tension in the other man. "I wish Lureen didn't know about us, is all," Ennis said simply. "'Course I'll stay for the food. I doubt I'll be going anywhere, not in this weather." Ennis reached around, pulling the shirt Jack was holding out of his hand, turning him around. Reaching up, Ennis pulled the blue fabric over Jack's head almost unconsciously, concentrating on helping him dress. "I just don't like it," he finished, voice low.

"M sorry," Jack whispered, "but Lureen's good people, Ennis." He leaned into Ennis's warmth and let Ennis help him dress.

The small apartment was warm when they emerged a minute later, Ennis all too aware of how it must look. Although technically Lureen knew and supposedly was alright about it, Ennis couldn't help but wonder what she really thought. And she'd know about the engagement to Alma, still. Shit.

Ennis half-carried Jack to the chair, lifting the foot and placing the ice on Jack's ankle. Jack shut his eyes and Ennis felt a pang of concern, noting Jack's pale, tired face. He raised a hand, caressing it over Jack's jaw, dropping it abruptly as Lureen came in with some beers.

Ennis moved over to another chair, accepting the beer with a muttered thanks.

"Yup. Let's see. I ordered black olive, my favorite, and pepperoni with extra cheese, Jack's favorite. What's your choice, Ennis?" Lureen set down bottles of a dark porter micro brew from Denver next to the plates and pizzas already on the coffee table. Jack grunted and eagerly helped himself to three slices of pepperoni.

Ennis shrugged. "Whatever." He grabbed a couple of the closest ones, and sat back. Lureen seemed to be acting fairly reasonably, just helping herself and certainly not acting like it was any strange thing for Ennis to be sitting in the apartment.

Ennis finished chewing a slice of pizza and took a deep drink of beer. Maybe Jack was right. It was nice to just sit and eat, and if Ennis tried at times not to keep letting his glance slide over to Jack, he didn't try too hard. And Jack seemed happy, now. Ennis supposed that, strange as their past may be, Jack and Lureen still cared for each other. Kind of like him and K.E. But that was different. K.E. may protect Ennis by not telling anyone about what he'd done, but there was no way he'd condone it.

Lureen sighed long and hard and smiled tightly across the table at Ennis. "So, I don't know if Jack has told you, but I'm currently in the process of looking for a job. I spent all day editing resumes, thinking about who can give me references, finding jobs to apply for and printing out applications. I'm ready for a nice evening off. I wish we could do something-- not that there's much to do around here-- but I guess we're stuck here with pizza. Oh well." She yawned and scoured a hand over her eyes.

"Uh, Jack didn't actually tell me," Ennis stated. He watched Lureen, not sure how to react. "You're right though, not much to do in Riverton unless you like the bar or church socials."

Lureen nodded. "And the movie theater. We never go, though. It's gotten so expensive."

Ennis nodded awkwardly, looking over to Jack. He felt exhausted, the alcohol bringing a heavy weariness over him. Ennis suddenly realized that there was no way he would be able to drive home until morning, and bit his lip, imagining Lureen in the next room, knowing he was in Jack's room doing God knows what with Jack. Even though Ennis knew he wouldn't be getting up to a goddamned thing, the walls in the apartment probably being paper thin, it gave him the most uncomfortable feeling. Damned weather.

"I really need a shower," sighed Jack, winking at Ennis.

"I think I'm going to just watch a movie in my room," answered Lureen.

Ennis waited until Lureen had left the room and leaned forward, hissing across to Jack. "You can't be serious!"

Unfortunately, his cock had also heard Jack's words and was a distinctive growing pressure in his jeans. Ennis shifted, flushing as Jack's eyes dropped to his groin in blatant invitation.

"What?," Jack played innocent. "I just meant I haven't showered since last night. I'm glad I can't smell me, but the rest of you can. I'm trying to be... considerate."

Ennis stared at Jack intensely, his groin jolting as his mind flashed back to what they'd gotten up to the night before. "I haven't had time either," he said. "Guess I'll have one after you."

"Umm hmm." Jack's tone made it painfully obvious that he didn't believe Ennis's thinly-laid cover. By some miracle, mere minutes later, they were enclosed together in the bathroom, naked, while Jack fixed the temperature-- neither too hot nor too cold.

Ennis half-shut his eyes, letting the bliss of a more-than-adequate hot water system wash over him. Blinking through the water, he felt his breath catch at the sight of Jack, water rivulets caressing taut lines. Ennis moved his mouth close to Jack's, indulging himself as he lapped at Jack's skin, tasting the salty sweetness.

Jack answered in kind, pressing against Ennis in the shower. He slipped down in the flow to take Ennis's fire-hot length into his mouth, trying to finish what he'd tried to start this very morning. Jack held Ennis's legs and worked him deeper. The water diluted the salt, but it couldn't be helped. Jack looked up and saw Ennis, mouth open and gasping for air, in the shower, just like his fantasy.

Ennis felt his legs start to shake, mouth opening in a deep moan. All thoughts of Lureen were long forgotten. It was starting to rise up, too fast, and Ennis, needing more of Jack, pushed down on his shoulders before it was too late.

"Have to have you--" Ennis tried to say, although that wasn't quite what he meant. It was a blind need, to feel Jack under him, to thrust into the man, that incredible feeling of joining. After this day, in particular this day, Ennis could think of nothing else.

Jack let himself be bent, rolling back into the penetration Ennis was offering. He was choking on the water slipping down his cheeks and into his face, so he hung his mouth open, did himself with his own hand, while they rode this wave together, controlled, towards their shared blissful oblivions.

This Land is Your Land: Chapter Twenty-Four

Wed, 05 Dec 2007 08:43:17 GMT

This Land Is Your Land - Chapter Twenty-Four

Authors: lolitaray(Ennis) and planetgal471(Jack)
Rating: NC17
Disclaimer: Brokeback Mountain is the creation of Annie Proulx, and no profit is being made off of the sharing of this work. We do this for enjoyment only.
Summary: Ennis is a high-school drop-out giving it a final go. Jack is an enigmatic history teacher. This is a modern-day AU!AU. In this story, POVs are intermingled. Hopefully this is not too confusing to the readers.
Warnings: The story within contains adult themes, including but not limited to: explicit m/m sex, teacher/student relationships involving the high school level, cursing, and descriptions of violence, including sexual violence. This has been written for fun, but we understand that not everyone may enjoy it. Just scroll past!
Authors' Notes: Feedback is so appreciated!

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This Land is Your Land: Chapter Twenty-Four

When Jack got home, Lureen was hovering over the coffee table, a pen perched precariously in her royal red lips. Papers were scattered, and she reached down to tap one. "A little late, aren't you?"

Jack ignored her and hung his coat up in the closet.

"I was worried, with the storm."

"I was out."

"Yeah, I knew you weren't here, thanks for clarifying." Lureen's voice was laced with bitterness.

Jack sighed, heart-heavy with the drought ahead, the dream behind, and the turmoil meeting him at his own home.

"It's not like you to have a one-night stand, not since that whole mess with--"

"Thanks, I remember," Jack cut off the second reminder in as many days of a long-ago event he wanted to forget. "And it wasn't a one-night stand."

Lureen's heavily-mascaraed eyelashes flashed up at him. "Are you back on with your jail bait already?"

"He's not jail bait."

"Jack, you better be careful. He just broke up with you. He's playing games."

"He's not playing games. He didn't break up with me. His brother saw us, and he didn't know where we should go, but we found a place."

"A place."

"Yeah."

"A place where his brother isn't going to come after you with a shotgun?"

Jack rubbed his tired eyes.

"You have to be careful of these people, Jack. These aren't big-city people. They will come after you with a shotgun for getting fucked all night long by their own innocent young men."

"I get enough of this homophobic warning shit from my boyfriend. I don't need it from you, too. And I wasn't getting fucked, thank you very much, not once."

Lureen's lips clenched as she stared up at him with big, dark eyes. "What..."

Jack sighed and sunk down onto the couch next to her, slipping an arm behind her back. He pulled her head onto his shoulder. "Lureen, come on, you knew it was going to happen one day."

He heard her try to restrain a sniffle and fail, so he wrapped her up in his arms. Surely he couldn't fault Ennis for loving Alma, because he did love Lureen. She could be a drama queen and a controlling diva of the loudest variety when she wanted to be, but she'd been brought up in a small, backwater town in Texas that raised pageant queens and pastor's wives. Something had gone wrong with her. She was a puma, a terror in the workplace, brilliant (if condescending), liberal enough to fear for her safety in her hometown, best friends with a gay man, and had finally ripped herself away from her daddy's tight clutches-- the last signature on her declaration of independence, a John Hancock no one could miss. Jack loved her to death, but he could never love her the way she wanted to be loved by him, the way that she loved him. She let tears, so unusual, so rare, roll onto his shirt. He was sure he still smelled like Ennis, and wondered if she could pick up on it.

Finally, she drew back and patted her eyes with a final, defiant swipe. "You..."

"The time was right, Lureen." He'd never had his dick inside a man, not ever. A few women in high school, Lureen... and somehow she'd clung to that with a single misguided hope.

She nodded. "Boyfriend, huh?" She managed a weak smile.

"Don't you let him hear you say that."

She laughed. "So, this isn't some fetish? Some high school thing you have?"

Jack shook his head, suddenly serious. "This is the real deal. It sucks the big one to have come at me this way."

"No joke. And closeted too? A small-town kid with no future, Jack."

"Don't you say that. He's got a future." Jack's voice was hushed and reverent.

She slipped down deeper into the cushions.

"Why don't you just sit here tonight and I'll go out and get or dinner for once?"

She shrugged, so Jack got back into his snow suit and slipped and slided his way along the treacherous sidewalk down to the corner diner.

He was more than a little surprised when he stepped into the blasting heat to see Alma working behind the counter. In bad weather like this, he'd have thought she would be protected at home by someone. Jack ordered from her, enduring her hard, cold stare. He imagined explaining where he'd been all night, telling her that the seemingly-chaste mouth she liked to kiss had sucked his cock, his cock still sticky with lube and and the sour-tasting anal fluids of her own beloved that Ennis had taken back inside himself. It made Jack hard as a rock to think of. Surely Ennis hadn't thought that through, but many men, and Jack himself when he was younger, were surprised to learn that it didn't taste like you might expect it to. The smell and taste were earthen and warm, strong and unique. Jack felt the urge rise up strong to taste Ennis, to lick Ennis and to tongue inside. His heart began skipping beats just as Alma handed him a bag with his and Lureen's sandwiches inside.

"Thank you," Jack muttered, flushing embarrassed at his thoughts in front of her. "You, uh, you have a safe ride home. The roads are real slippery." Jack didn't have a special affinity for Alma, but likely Ennis had no great love for Lureen. Ennis loved Alma, and that was reason enough for Jack to make sure she got safely home. After all, Jack didn't feel he was truly competing with her. After last night, he surely, surely had won.

Alma's gaze darkened as she looked out into the snow falling thickly. She'd been expecting the sight of Ennis all evening, but for some reason he hadn't showed. Hadn't called her since Friday, neither.

"I'm calling my Daddy, later," Alma admitted to Jack. "It's not a long walk home, but I don't want to risk it."

"...You sure you don't want me to give you a ride home? Or maybe to call Ennis for you? I mean, 'cause you got customers. I'm sure he wouldn't want you walking home in this." Jack floundered, not wanting to betray the fact that he might better be able to convince Ennis to give Alma a ride home than Alma herself could. Did Alma sense that? "In case your father can't make it, or something," Jack added hastily, not wanting to make everything about Ennis, even as he really, truly did want to make everything about Ennis.

Alma looked doubtfully at Jack, then around at the diner. "Ennis was meant to come out here," she said, biting her lips. "But I guess the snow's falling too thick." She measured Jack up with her eyes and made a quick decision. "My Daddy hasn't had the best of health, lately. If you're sure it wouldn't put you out--?"

Jack felt a ping of shame. Had Ennis forgot Alma because of him, because of them? "No, yeah, sure. I live just down the block. I can get my car. If you're sure Ennis won't come looking for you or something." Jack looked over his shoulder back towards the door as if the concept itself could summon the man.

Alma felt a silent relief. Her Daddy said nothing was wrong with him, but Alma was putting her money on the doctor's advice. Too much stress, and the need to take it easy, for his heart. This would help, in a small way. He worried about her working so much in the diner. Truth was, Alma had never imagined she would take so much on, either. But it was hard in a small town, staffing problems and all, and she didn't feel right saying no to Monroe. He'd been in her grade growing up, and now his Daddy was dead and he was making a real good go of the business. Alma had to credit his hard work and drive. They were friends, so she did the best she could.

"Well, thank you," Alma said hesitantly. "That'd be real kind. I'm nearly done, say, just half an hour or so to clean up. No customers on a night like this, hardly."

Jack left the diner with a smile. He was surprised that helping Alma out felt so good, almost like helping Ennis. He pulled his car around, lazily throwing the sandwiches into the backseat, and, when her shift was done, drove her to her house. At the one stop light between here and there, he asked her without turning to look at her, "So, when's the big day?" He found himself needing to know.

Alma sat next to him, almost tranquil at the sound of those words. They never failed to make her smile. "Well, we've planned it for just after Ennis graduates. Which isn't long now, sure enough." Alma looked across to Jack, then added, with a distinct point to her voice, "We both just can't hardly wait."

In a way, what with Ennis's teacher being so kind and all, Alma now felt a bit sorry for him. It probably wasn't his fault, all of this. Ennis had asked him for the tutoring, and that being over, Alma was prepared to be Christian-like, forgiving. Poor man, living with that bitch Lureen. You couldn't get two more different people living together.

Jack made a sound in his throat and tried to hide it under a cough. He hit the gas a little too hard when the light turned green. The wheels protested on the icy road, but Jack was in control. Soon enough they were pulling up in front of Alma's house.

* * * *

Ennis sighed and put on his heaviest jacket, prepared to slip and slide his way out to the pick-up. K.E., settled in, snug and warm by the wood stove with a glass of his finest, looked concerned.

"You're crazy to try and drive into town with this here weather, Ennis." He peered through the small window at the howling gusts of snow. "Alma will understand. Night like this, only the wolves are out in it. Pick-ups still giving trouble, y'know."

Ennis set his jaw stubbornly. He was bleary-eyed from only two hours of sleep, his ass sore as hell from the night at the motel, gentle though Jack had been, and he had spent the whole damn day trying to get hungry cattle fed. But something in him needed to see Alma. After last night...what he'd done...well, let Jack do to him, rather. He just had to. If he was really going to be going ahead with the wedding, he needed to face up to it now. And Ennis hated to let Alma down. A promise was a promise.

"Call me when you get to Alma's!" K.E.'s voice was swept away as Ennis opened the door and was bucketed into the wind.

The usual twenty minute drive into town became an hour, as Ennis snail-crawled along, wishing to hell the damn pick-up was heated, barely able to see an inch in front of his nose. All he needed was to go off the road into a drift and it'd be all over. A part of him wondered just why the hell he'd ever left the house. It was absolute madness.

Finally he reached the diner, praying Alma would be in, although it was just closing time. Not a chance. The lights were off, the sign creaking back and forth fitfully, half obscured by snow. There was no help for it but to press on towards her house. Even though the wind had settled only minimally, Ennis made the rest of the journey without complaint. However, reaching the Beer's house, he had to blink twice, unable to believe his eyes. What the fuck? He saw Jack's car and, inside it, a figure that looked damn close to Alma. Ennis felt a stab of fear, trying to imagine the possibilities that had led to this round of events.

Even as he steeled himself to open the door of the pick-up, Ennis found his eyes moving to Jack's silhouette. His stomach turned lazily over, reminding him of just what had occurred the night before. Damn. Ennis pushed open the door, stepping out into the snow and wind, and moved towards the car.

* * * *

Alma paused, thin hand on the door. She turned to look at Jack seriously.

"That was really appreciated, Mr. Twist." As Alma prepared to exit the car, she suddenly paused, taking in the headlights as a pick-up pulled up in front of Jack's small sedan, almost obscured by the drifting snowflakes. Alma shifted in her seat. "That's Ennis! He shouldn't have driven in this kind of weather--"

Jack paused. Alma hurried on out into the cold to greet Ennis, but Jack froze. His heart betrayed him, thundering in his chest. Ennis was walking towards the car. Jack couldn't stay inside forever, so he cracked the door with finality and exited. The wind tried to steal his words away as he called out to Ennis-- Ennis who was paying mind to him and not to Alma-- "Just giving Alma here a ride home from work! Nasty weather to be driving around in!"

Ennis nodded abruptly, relief rushing through him at Jack's simple words. He just had time to lock eyes with the man, so many messages spoken in the simple look, before Alma made her way around the car.

Moving closer, Ennis took her arm as she half-slipped in the snow. "Sorry I was late," he said huskily. "You alright?"

Alma nodded, looking towards the door of the house, where Mrs. Beers was standing, beckoning them in. "Mr. Twist gave me a lift, saved me ringing Daddy." She turned to where Jack was standing, half-hunched over, buffeted by the wind. "You need to come in and have a warm drink, sir?"

Jack shifted his weight back and forth a bit, trying to warm up. "Not sure if I should...," he answered, watching Ennis gripping Alma. It made sense. She'd almost fallen. But it made Jack sick right down to his feet to watch. A June wedding. Shit.

Hesitating, Ennis, looked at Jack, trying to weigh the risk. On one hand, it was really good to look at him, but Ennis just knew in his heart the gamble he'd be taking. Jack and Alma in the same room together? With every step he took reminding him of what had been between them last night? Definitely not a good idea. How the hell had Jack come to give her a lift, anyways?

He opened his mouth to speak, but Alma, still clutching at his arm, was already signaling her mother, who was hurrying down the stairs. Ennis sighed the sigh of the defeated as she approached them through the white gusts.

"This is Mr. Twist," Alma stated breathlessly, as her mother looked askance at Jack, shivering with cold. "Ennis's teacher. He gave me a lift home."

"That's sure appreciated, Mr. Twist." Mrs. Beers shook her head in concern. "You must be freezing! Please come in until the weather clears a bit."

Jack wanted to protest, but at this point he was well aware that the whole group of them were standing outside in the increasingly bad snowstorm just because of his own hesitation, and that, if he argued, Mrs. Beers seemed like the type to keep pushing him, and they'd all stand out here longer getting colder. Jack shook his head. "Alright." He gave the barest thought to Lureen and her sandwiches, but by now she'd probably given up on him and started cooking something for herself.

The group of them rushed towards the warm interior. Jack, feeling every bit of the unwelcome hanger-on, lagged behind.

A strong gust of wind hit him, leaving him unbalanced, just as he reached the first of the Beers' slippery front steps, and Jack's feet flew out from under him with lightning speed. He bent back over the step as his ass hit the hard ground, just barely biting down on the string of curses he wanted to vent, settling, instead, on a muttered, "Shit."

Ennis's head whipped around as he heard the heavy thud of Jack falling. He was aware of Alma's mother's worried face as he turned, but then he was down on his knees in the snow, holding onto the front of Jack's coat with both hands.

"Are you alright?" Ennis wasn't even aware of how his voice shook.

Jack, feeling about as embarrassed as he could, pushed Ennis's hands away in one swift movement. "I'll live." Jack sat up in the snow and the tried to get up. "Think I sprained my ankle, though."

"Shit." Ennis's brow creased in concern and he awkwardly slipped an arm around Jack's shoulders. "Lean on me."

Jack exhaled hard and let Ennis help him into the warm house. "Sorry," he breathed quietly to Ennis with feeling. He hadn't left for the sandwich shop with the intention of shitting all over Ennis's day by injuring himself like a fool and interfering with Ennis's date with Alma. That last thought hit Jack hard with a sense of hopelessness. It was almost like there were two Ennis's, his and Alma's, and he didn't even know which one this one was. Jack tightened his grip on Ennis's shoulder, feeling more alone than he could remember feeling, more alone even than when he was solo back-country camping in Death Valley.

Mr. Beers stood, eying Jack with suspicion as he hobbled into the house, arm slung around Ennis's shoulder. Alma stood helplessly as Mrs. Beers fussed around, picking a comfortable chair, explaining the situation to her husband.

"Ennis's teacher here was in the diner and kindly offered Alma a lift home. And you, Ennis," wringing her hands she turned to Ennis, "The snow's falling hard, what are you doing out here tonight?"

Ennis released his grip on Jack as the man sank awkwardly into the chair. He shuffled back a pace nervously at Alma's mother's words.

"Said I'd be here tonight. So," he shrugged, "here I am."

Jack felt lame and intrusive in the Beers' living room. Worse, he felt dirty. He hadn't even showered... Jesus, he hadn't even showered since the night before. He must still smell of Ennis and spunk, in the Beers' living room, in their fluffy floral recliner. He decided then and there he was out of here as soon as his ankle stopped throbbing quite so badly.

Mrs. Beers left to get some hot drinks, shooing away Alma's offer of help. Alma gestured Ennis to sit, perching beside him on the narrow couch. Mr. Beers, reclining in the other armchair, stared over at Jack.

Jack cleared his throat uncomfortably. "Uh. Sorry for the intrusion. I'll be going just as soon as my ankle's a little better. Sorry." He looked down at the red and cream floral rug, not really sure where to look since he sure as hell did not want to see Ennis sitting next to Alma, nor the accusatory glare of Mr. Beers.

Alma cleared her throat, slipping her hand across and enfolding it over Ennis's. "It's no problem, Mr. Twist. I hope you didn't hurt it too badly."

Mr. Beers folded heavy hands across his stomach. "You live close by? Hard to be careful driving in this weather, let alone with a sprained ankle." He looked directly across at Ennis. "No sort a weather to be driving in, no matter what Alma wants."

"Ank--" Jack looked up and saw Ennis and Alma holding hands. Hadn't Ennis held his hand? His voice caught, so he looked away. "Ankle isn't too bad. I don't live far..." Jack braved the sight before him again to fix Ennis with a stare. "I'm sure glad I'm not using a rural road. I have to agree that's not going to be safe." Jack dropped his gaze again and swallowed hard.

Ennis flushed as Jack's eyes dropped to his and Alma's entwined hands, roughly pulling his own hand free.

Leaning forward slightly, he shifted, the couch uncomfortable to his tender ass, then, as if under a spell, he found himself against his will again locking his gaze with Jack. Jack was talking, something about the roads and safety but Ennis didn't quite catch it.

Mrs. Beers came back with hot cocoa then, as well as an ice pack for Jack's ankle, and Jack gladly accepted both with a smile. The whole mood in the room seemed to lift a little. He set down his cocoa to pull of his shoe and lay the ice pack over his visibly swollen joint. It was his right, so it wouldn't be as easy to drive out of here quickly as he wanted. The pain was getting worse, and the swelling didn't look pretty.

Ennis looked at the sight of Jack's ankle and at his obvious effort to hide the pain, but felt helpless. This was the worst kind of hell, Alma sending him hurt looks out of the corner of his eyes for breaking their embrace. But god, Ennis just found he couldn't do it, not with Jack watching him.

Mrs. Beers mind was obviously running along the same lines as Ennis's. "That looks real painful, Mr. Twist. I don't think you should be driving." She turned to Ennis. "Maybe you could run your teacher home, dear."

Jack gritted his teeth and stared at this ankle. He didn't want to be backed into the corner like this, to be made a burden to others. His frustration was growing. "'S fine. I'm fine."

Ennis, feeling torn, looked from Alma to Mrs. Twist. Before he could speak, Alma spoke, out of character for her.

"Couldn't your girlfriend come out and give you a lift, Mr. Twist?"

"Alma!" protested her mother, obviously shocked at the tone of Alma's voice.

"Lureen doesn't have a car," Ennis said innocently, then realized what he'd said as Alma looked at him incredulously. "Uh--I think you mentioned that, Ja--Mr. Twist?"

Before Jack could speak, Alma continued, rising to indicate that the conversation was at an end. "Mama's right. If that's the case, you need to run Mr. Twist home, Ennis. You planning on coming back here?"

It was suddenly evident to Ennis that Alma was looking different. Just something in her eyes and thin frame, the way her whole body seemed to vibrate with tension. She couldn't possibly have guessed...Jesus.H. He felt caught in the middle, Mr. Beers watching him as though the intrusion into his lounge was entirely Ennis's fault.

Jack felt the tension strumming through the air, vibrating his bones. He cleared his throat. "Uh, no need," he insisted. "Ankle's not too bad. I can drive on it." Jack spared a forlorn glance at his untouched cocoa, but felt that he'd overstayed his welcome too long already. He leaned over and forced his shoe back on as best he could over the swelling, working hard not to wince. He's been subject to enough of his daddy's beatings as a child to know how to ignore pain.

Ennis shook his head, as Jack made an inadequate attempt to mask the pain. It just wasn't right. He drank down the rest of his cocoa, standing up and moving over to the other man. "You shouldn't drive like that." He looked over to Alma who was watching them, unmoving. "I'll just drop Mr. Twist off, then head home, I think, Alma. Your father's right, it's dangerous weather and it's only going to get worse."

Alma gave a frozen nod and Mrs. Beers smiled in relief. "Now you're thinking straight, Ennis. We don't want anything to happen to you, do we Alma?"

"Sure enough." Alma's tone was quietly low and she didn't meet Ennis's eyes.

Jack looked back and forth between Ennis and Alma, but the one thing he read from the situation was that Ennis seemed as hungry for escape as he felt. Jack wanted to escape alone and undo this whole mess, but he was not about to leave Ennis behind. "Sorry about being a pain," Jack addressed the room. "Thanks for the ride," he said to Ennis alone.

Alma's strange mood or not, Ennis couldn't prevent the flood of warmth through him at Jack's words. "You're welcome," he said simply, although in truth he was panicked about the whole damn situation. Ennis took comfort as Jack's arm slung around him. Ennis supported Jack's weight easily as Jack limped heavily out of the room, nodding good-byes to the others but couldn't prevent shooting a last glance back over his shoulder as they exited the front door. Alma remained standing beside her mother, her face a mask.

Then they were back out in the wind, Ennis trying his best to shield Jack from the blasts as they reached the pick-up.

Jack maneuvered himself in with some difficulty and Ennis shut the door for him, making his way round to the other side, working his keys in the ignition. Ennis looked cautiously towards the closed door of the Beers' house. Only after making sure the pick-up started just fine did Ennis let himself look towards Jack. He then shook his head. "How the hell did you end up at Alma's house, of all goddamned places?"

Jack didn't look up as he answered. "Told you, I gave her a ride. I went to get me and Lureen some sandwiches-- Christ, I'm starving, I haven't eaten all day-- and Alma was working, didn't have a way to get home. Figured... well, truthfully, I did it 'cause I know you feel strongly for her and I didn't want her walking home on her own in this. I don't much like her, but I know you don't like Lureen, and... well, Lureen's my best friend. I've known her a long time. I figured if the situation was reversed... I mean, except, I wouldn't be engaged to Lureen..." Jack sighed, letting the whole thing go before he dug himself in too deep.

Ennis frowned at Jack's words, but the truth hit home. As he started to drive, Ennis moved his hand across, letting it lay easily across Jack's upper thigh. Jack's jeans were half soaked from the fall and he hadn't even mentioned it. What a mess.

Ennis suppressed a shiver then, at the thought that he could so easily let his hand slip up even higher, fully knowledgeable of what lay underneath the denim. He wished to hell Lureen wasn't home but no use thinking further on that. "Well, that was kind of you," Ennis admitted, "but it's a hell of a situation, and Alma, I think she might suspect--" Ennis stopped talking abruptly, realizing who he was speaking to: the man who wouldn't obviously appreciate him mentioning his engagement, the man he just happened to be sleeping with. Hell. Ennis took a deep breath and tried again. "I'm sorry, Jack. I don't think I can do this. I don't hardly know what the hell I'm doing most of the time and I was scared out of my mind back there." Ennis peered through the window, just glad they had now reached the apartment.

Jack laid his hand tenderly over Ennis's and looked across the seat towards him. "You're not the only one who's scared, Ennis. I..." Jack faltered. "We'll just take it one day at a time." He squeezed Ennis's hand. He paused, and in the stillness you could hear the engine cool, start to see their breath fog up the glass.

Ennis took a deep breath at Jack's words, but felt easier in his own mind. Jack was right. And no reason why Alma should suspect; it was all probably in Ennis's own mind. He grabbed Jack's hand back, and, after casting a glance around, lowered both their entwined hands to Jack's leg, rubbing up and over the older man's upper thigh. "Darlin," he muttered finally, hard put to find words. "Well, lets get you into the apartment. Looks like you're in some pain."

Jack could barely even move or respond. He just sat in shock from Ennis's affection as Ennis got out and came around to help him out. Ennis had to physically start pulling him from the cab before Jack's body cooperated and he slung his arm around Ennis, pulling himself perhaps far more closely than necessary.

As Jack was turning towards the apartment, his vision lingered on a white SUV out by the curb as it slowed. Jack's vision dimmed when he realized whose it was, but he didn't say anything to Ennis. This situation was innocent enough, wasn't it? Jack swallowed hard and began his windswept hobble towards his apartment, arms-and-arm with Ennis.

Jack heard Aguirre drive away before they reached the door.

This Land is Your Land

Sun, 18 Nov 2007 22:52:52 GMT

This Land Is Your Land - Chapter Twenty-Three

Authors: lolitaray(Ennis) and planetgal471(Jack)
Rating: NC17
Disclaimer: Brokeback Mountain is the creation of Annie Proulx, and no profit is being made off of the sharing of this work. We do this for enjoyment only.
Summary: Ennis is a high-school drop-out giving it a final go. Jack is an enigmatic history teacher. This is a modern-day AU!AU. In this story, POVs are intermingled. Hopefully this is not too confusing to the readers.
Warnings: The story within contains adult themes, including but not limited to: explicit m/m sex, teacher/student relationships involving the high school level, cursing, and descriptions of violence, including sexual violence. This has been written for fun, but we understand that not everyone may enjoy it. Just scroll past!
Authors' Notes: Feedback is so appreciated!

View All Chapters

This Land is Your Land: Chapter Twenty-Three

Some unknown time later, Jack shuddered to wakefulness. A slippery wind pulled at an unsecured door somewhere down the row. It's banging was timpani for the high-pitched chime of ice and snow against the window, the wind's howl taking melody. Jack tried to turn, to shut out the noise against Ennis's body.

Ennis, who'd being lying with eyes shut but not asleep, reached out to pull Jack closer to his body. He felt a playful urge to tease Jack. "Looks like I was your Christmas present," he said, mock-serious, the curve of his mouth quirking ever so slightly.

Jack chuckled lightly. He rolled Ennis over onto his back and lay his head against Ennis's chest. The chill of the cold room hit Jack's body and he kicked at the blankets until he could bring them close enough to grab, wrapping them both in a warm cocoon.

Jack whispered towards nowhere, "Swear to God, I didn't think we were ever going to get into this again, after you-- After this past month. Was a hell of a time for me. Lureen? She was away for two weeks, so I mostly tried to keep busy on my own. Drank, read, watched movies, and, yeah, the porn. Lureen came back, all cheerful from her trip and I don't even want to be around her. Think maybe I should have gone with her, but...," Jack exhaled slowly, "What about you?"

Ennis frowned, then reached over the side of the bed, removing his smokes. He lit one and took a drag, watching the thin column of smoke make it's way lazily to the ceiling.

"Me? Not much." Ennis absently stroked cautious fingers over Jack's inner arm. He knew instinctively by now that mentioning Alma's name was definitely not a good thing, judging by Jack's prior responses. "Just ranch work. Had Christmas dinner. Kept to myself."

Jack turned into Ennis's chest, feathered as it was by the light body hair of a boy newly-come to manhood. He blew his breath across the hair to see it move, and laid a kiss among it. "Mmmm, all that time on that old ranch of yours spoiled us, huh? Guess... can't really quit in the middle of the school year. I'll quit after that and we can figure something out, but what the hell are we going to do until then?"

Ennis shook his head slightly while he continued to touch Jack's arm in a hesitant stroke. He took a breath, let it out again.

"Jack. I don't know what to say. Don't know what I can say, without..." Ennis turned his head away a fraction, shutting his eyes. "I didn't ask for this, you know."

"Well, and I like my job. But we got to do what we got to do, right? Jesus, Ennis..." Jack let his thoughts drift off unvoiced. "I mean, we could make this work. People do it every day. Just got to get away from here, get new jobs..."

Ennis shifted, uneasy. The conversation was taking a turn in a direction that he didn't want to go, truth be told. "Let's just leave it for now, okay." Ennis sensed the restless moment beside him and held onto Jack's hand, trying to steady him. "Besides, we won't get a chance to do this much anyways, I guess."

Jack sensed Ennis's tension. He wanted to talk about the future. He wanted to talk about it over and over until they had exhausted the subject, and then some, because he was anxious to think about how they were going to get through the months ahead until Ennis finished school and Jack could quit it. Jack needed something to look towards. But Ennis liked to live in the moment, so Jack offered him that, nodding against Ennis. Jack turned and climbed on top of Ennis so they were chest-to-chest, though he was careful not to let go of Ennis's hand. It was a precious thing, a gesture so intimate and familiar, likely something Ennis did frequently with Alma-- hand-holding. If only Alma knew what other hand Ennis had been holding. Jack was tempted to ask what Ennis's plans were regarding Alma, but he knew that Ennis didn't want to talk about things now, so instead, he lay a kiss on Ennis's reluctant-yet-smiling lips, then snaked down to Ennis's neck, stopping only to say, "Well if we won't get many opportunities, I guess we should take full advantage."

The thin mattress dipped slightly and the metal frames of the bed creaked as Jack climbed on top of Ennis, mouth wet and warm on Ennis's neck. Ennis turned his head to the side to give full access, drinking in the sensation.

A thought occurred and Ennis turned his head, curls brushing against Jack's face. "I don't want you to give up your job," he muttered, unsure of what to say. "And leave Riverton? Is that what you're trying to say? K.E. would--" Ennis felt his erection, which had been responding lazily to Jack's weight, start to soften. "I've never looked at any guys before, Jack. What we've got here, I can't hardly credit it. I'm different from you. I still," Ennis sighed, not able to look at the response in those blue eyes. "I do love Alma, still, in a way."

Jack slowed his ministrations. He might have been more hurt by Ennis's words if he didn't know by now that the things Ennis was feeling for him were real.

"A way. Is it this way?" Jack pistoned down so his growing dick slid between Ennis's thighs. "You wish you had her here instead, is that it?"

Ennis arched his back, unable to prevent his own hips thrusting up slightly, wanting to press his own cock against Jack's, an easy and familiar response that he had slipped back into all too unconsciously after the four week break. He simply couldn't prevent his all too automatic response to the man, no matter how he tried. Ennis wasn't able to deny that, not anymore.

He tried to imagine Alma on top of him, but the image just wouldn't come to mind. Maybe because she couldn't compete, not with Jack, hands pressing Ennis into the mattress, erection thrusting with unabashed eagerness against Ennis. He couldn't imagine Alma being so...free with her needs, to be honest.

Ennis made a half-hearted motion at shaking his head, trying to answer, his body already responding to Jack's purposeful aim. "You know what we've got-- God, Jack." Ennis let out a low moan. "It's not the same and you know it."

Jack smoothed back Ennis's curls and ran his thumbs over Ennis's forehead, even as their lazy thrusting continued. "I know it, Ennis. I know it. I just..." Jack lost his words in a flurry of lustful noises, pants and snorts as he sped up and reached between them, wrapped a hand around both himself and Ennis. He thought his weight must be hard on Ennis, but Jack didn't hear any complaining. He worked them together. "Ennis, you want to try and come together?"

Ennis blinked, confused. It was just impossible to concentrate, Jack's hard weight pressing him down on the bed, Jack's hand squeezing him in that skillful, knowing way that made Ennis's mind turn to absolute mush. Ennis had been just too glad that Jack had eased off about Alma to take in what he way saying. Come together...what? What did Jack mean--oh!

"Um," Ennis managed to verbalize, his hands grabbing the older man's shoulders, keeping his eyes open to memorized the blue imprint of Jack, tender and warm. Ennis placed a soft kiss on the side of Jack's mouth, his breathing suddenly more erratic.

"I'm close," Jack gasped in a choked voice. "You?"

"God, Jack--" Ennis's throat felt hoarse as he pressed his face harder into the sweaty moistness of Jack's skin. Jack moved his hand faster, speeding up the motion, and Ennis shuddered convulsively. He could feel Jack's cock, hard and slick-wet, Jack's hand covering up and down every inch of him. "Don't think I can hold off much longer--"

"Goooood," Jack groaned, "because I am shooting... noooow!" Jack's muscles shivered as he ejaculated onto his own hand and on Ennis's body. He bucked once, not under his own control, and moaned deep.

"Jesus.H--" Ennis shut his eyes tight as the orgasm rode over him, jerking between Jack's hand and cock. It seemed that the whole world had dissolved to just the two of them, the rough hotel sheets, Jack's wet skin and musky, clean smell. How had sex with this man become such a complicated myriad of emotions and acts? Seemed like Jack only had to look at Ennis a certain way, and he was hard for more, just couldn't get enough. It scared the hell out of him. Ennis lay, every muscle in his body limp as a rag, enjoying the last echoing streaks of pleasure as his orgasm faded.

Jack still hadn't moved, and Ennis, mind full of wonder for what they had just shared, smiled faintly, nuzzling his face against that dark hair. Seemed what they had hit Jack just as hard as it hit him.

"You asleep, now?" he murmured softly, hand stroking lightly over Jack's sweaty back. "Little darlin."

Jack heard blood rush through his body at the sound of the endearment. It was feminine and gentle, and yet, so very Ennis, earthy and solid and offered to Jack without fear of judgment. Jack ran a hand over Ennis's sticky stomach, and then leaned up, making a space between them for the cool air to leak in, though they were still under the blanket. He smiled down into Ennis's eyes, marveling at the strength of emotions he was feeling, at the beauty of the man he had here under him, and the degree to which his hopes and fears hinged on Ennis alone. Jack wanted to say something, but no words were sufficient. He looked down between them to where their come mingled, his hand well-covered, and settled for dropping a kiss, passionate but chaste, onto Ennis's already-bruised lips. Laying back down on Ennis's side, breathing in deeply and satisfied, Jack let the notion of sleep gather around as if he were taking it for a test drive.

Just this edge of sleep, Jack spoke. "What about the Tetons, Spring break? You got to give me something to go on. Just a camping trip. Three months..." Jack wasn't sure he could last that long, but he could try.

Somewhere down the row of cheap motel rooms, the unlocked door slammed again, testing its frame in the ruthless winter wind.

Ennis was in a blissful kind of dream, the best kind ever, involving Jack's warm body close to his and Jack's even, strong breath beside his face, but the innocent words brought him back to reality.

Blinking, Ennis half-opened his eyes. The Tetons? That sounded innocent enough. Surely no-one would think it strange, seeing two men on a camping trip. He'd have to tell K.E. something different, although he felt sick at the thought of lying to his brother. Why did everything have to be so damn complicated?

"For how long," Ennis said, frowning slightly, his mind trying to work around it. As he thought, there really seemed nothing better. Himself and Jack, in the mountains, just the two of them, together.

"Just the week," Jack's voice slurred with exhaustion.

Ennis lay in the half-dark, thinking and listening to the wind. It sounded beyond good, something to look forward to during the long, lonely weeks of the future, without their Sundays. Ennis knew that Jack was only too happy to have him go to the apartment, under cover of darkness, or not, blithely assuming that Lureen wouldn't have anything to say about it. Ennis also knew there was no way in hell he planned to do that, not after what Lureen had said to Alma about their relationship. Too risky by a long shot.

So, the Tetons it looked like it would be. And maybe once in a while, they could get together at the motel, if they were careful. Whatever the case, it surely wasn't what Ennis wanted, but there was no way to get around it. Ennis, conscious of Jack, sleeping now heavily beside him, was silently relieved the conversation about Alma hadn't gone any further. Ennis hated to think about it, because truth was, most of the time he felt torn in two.

On one hand, there was his engagement, the memory of Alma saying she wanted to keep herself pure, just for him, the way her face lit up as he walked into the diner. She was so excited about the wedding. Ennis was also was very conscious of the silent approval of his friends, not to mention the thought of letting down K.E. And he didn't even know what he'd been breaking the engagement off for. It was still the same, everywhere you went, the silent mockery and derisive comments. Open and out as Jack may say he was, there was a reason that he didn't declare his orientation for all to share. Ennis resolutely blocked the image of Earl and Rich from his mind. He wasn't like that, wasn't going to end up like that. If by a stretch, it did end with Alma, no way in the world he'd live like that with a man.

But then, there was Jack. Who was, Ennis now found himself being forced to admit, certainly not just a man. Who, with just with the power of his gaze, could make Ennis feel the strangest things, feelings that he'd never experienced before in his life. It just seemed this unbelievable thing with Jack had blown up like a dark tornado, rolling in out of nowhere, sweeping him up and tossing him where it willed. Ennis turned his head, sliding a glance at the man in question. Jack's head lay towards Ennis, lips full and curved upwards as if he was having a pleasant dream. Those eyes that haunted Ennis were shut, his dark lashes cresting his upper cheeks. Even in sleep, he looked exhausted compared to four weeks ago. Ennis was startled by the protective urge that rose up in him by simply observing Jack sleep.

Sighing, Ennis moved over, swinging his legs out of the bed. It creaked heavily as he bent, getting a smoke. Ennis sat on the side of the bed for about half an hour, simply watching Jack.. When the cold became too uncomfortable, he climbed back in underneath the bedclothes. Jack's skin was hot, his limbs reaching out for Ennis even in sleep, and despite Ennis's chilled flesh. Ennis embraced the man, pulling Jack tight beneath his chin. It was soothing, and he was finally able to drift into a blank sleep, one ear listening as the wind's uprising howls swirled around the motel's thin walls.

Jack awoke to a sound like his mama making popcorn on the stove, homey and warm. A body was next to him, wrapped around him, and he curled into it, instinctively knowing it was safe. Ennis. That's who it was. Jack smiled and sought bare skin to drop a kiss onto. He opened his eyes and saw pre-dawn light filtering in around the edges of the curtains. The sound he'd heard was hail. Jack seized his opportunity, with Ennis still asleep, to slip down under the covers and set his tongue to work on Ennis-- Ennis tasting of semen and sweat. Jack licked voraciously, wondering how long Ennis could sleep through this.

Ennis awoke befuddled, his sleep almost drug-like. He blearily appreciated at once that it now seemed to be Saturday, and he'd had less than two hours sleep, if that. Sometime in those two hours it had sure started blowing up one hell of a hail storm, but that scarcely mattered. Ennis had no need to look for Jack, his cock being a clear sign that matters were already taken in hand. As Ennis shifted under the blankets, it hardened further, delicious ripples of pleasure leaking through the rest of Ennis's body, the result of being encased in that hot mouth, Jack's tongue firm and strong.

Ennis moved his hand down, touched that rich, dark hair, thrusting up a little, then grabbed Jack's shoulder. He fought an urge to pull Jack up and throw him over the bed, take what he knew was always welcomed by Jack. But Ennis was starting to learn a thing or two, and wanted to make it good. "C'mere, you," he gasped, despite the fact both his mind and cock protested at his actions, albeit both for different reasons.

"Uh uh. Ah banna thooo this," Jack answered, not even willing to release his prize from his lips.

Ennis felt his mouth quirk as Jack tried to talk. Stubborn son of a bitch! Relaxing back into the mattress, Ennis let out a moan which had no need to be faked.. Feeling Jack's grip on his upper thighs loosen, it was a simple matter to pull free with a pop from Jack's mouth. Ennis twisted around quickly, ducking under the warmth of the blankets and, even as he heard Jack's shout of protest, Ennis moved his own mouth down and over Jack's cock. Barely believing what he was doing, Ennis gingerly ran his tongue up and down the hard shaft. It tasted like Jack, musky, with a life of it's own, needing Ennis's touch. Hearing Jack's original shout of protest cut off with a series of heartfelt moans, Ennis smirked, sucking harder.

"Ennis, Ennis..." the cries came from Jack's own mouth. Jack knew because he could hear them, even though he could not remember speaking them. He'd been sucked off by men and women alike, and by people of far greater skill, but never by someone giving so generously of themselves, so passionately. Even Ennis's teeth scraping him only reminded Jack how fearlessly Ennis had taken him in for the first time. Though Ennis couldn't take him very deeply, that only made Jack the more grateful that Ennis was willing to try at all. Jack watched Ennis with wide eyes filled with wonderment. Then, the words came out. They weren't meant to. He hadn't been planning it and didn't think Ennis would want to hear them, but he was past control now. "Ennis, God, I love you! I'm gonna..." Jack shot in Ennis's mouth before he could issue the warning, arching up to meet the man on top of him.

Ennis literally choked, completely off guard by both the taste and consistency of Jack's semen pumping into his mouth and, at the same time, hearing those words coming out of the man's mouth. He swallowed, grimacing at the somewhat bitter taste and coughed a few times, but that was the least of his problems. Jesus. H. Christ. Had Jack really said those words? True, the man had been in a somewhat compromising position, and maybe that happened every time but...but...Hell

Ennis pushed back off Jack, sitting up and wiping his mouth. He found he couldn't even look at Jack as he lay there, gasping for breath. A tidal wave of guilt washed over him and for the first time, Ennis thought it would be for the best if he just got up, grabbed his clothes and walked the hell right out of the motel room, so Jack could have a chance with someone that could surely give him what Ennis knew he'd never be able to. But people said things in the heat of the moment, didn't they? Maybe Jack said that to all the men that did that to him? Ennis's insides recoiled at the thought of all the queer men before him who had done that to Jack, but it was better than the alternative: that Jack actually meant what he said. Ennis flopped back down on the bed beside Jack, letting out a long sigh. Best to pretend he hadn't heard that. Yes, that would be the best thing, in the long run for them both.

Jack held his breath. Couldn't believe he'd said that. They lay in silence, breathing next to each other for a minute, before Jack turned to Ennis, smiling. "Sorry about that. I meant to give you time to get away if you, I mean, in case you..."

Ennis had to close his eyes to shut out the beauty of the man, the heartfelt...well, Ennis had finally recognized the emotion in Jack's eyes for what it was. What Jack had actually said. Love. Love.

Ennis opened his eyes again, studying Jack's face but not really seeing it this time. He was thinking of the advice his Dad had given him. To say nothing and get it over real quick. Good enough for fighting K.E. but this...Ennis had never been in a situation like it and he knew for a fact that he wouldn't have been able to share the experience if his father had still been alive. Likely, Ennis would be the one under the tire iron, also.

Suddenly sick of fighting his demons, Ennis leaned over, grabbing Jack's face in a rough caress. "You've talked enough," he said huskily, before claiming that enticingly shaped mouth in a deep kiss. Certainly worked well, if Jack's response proved anything. Ennis released him, placing his forehead against Jack, staring into those dark blue eyes. The color reminded Ennis of their time at the lake, and he nearly laughed to think of how innocent he'd been back then. "You're my darlin, y'know that," and Ennis, unable to say more, moved his mouth back over the man. Time to get away? Too late for that, Ennis knew, too late by a long shot.

Jack let his heart savor the emotion it was feeling, being held, and, he felt, loved. That couldn't really be mistaken no matter how hard it would be, maybe always would be, for Ennis to say. They wouldn't get to be here much longer, so he treasured it all.

The time flew quickly, too quickly, and before he knew it they were rising and dressing. Jack peered out behind the curtain. "Be careful driving home, alright?"

Ennis was already tucking his shirt in, cautiously surveying the room for any evidence. Seemed alright. That is, if no one saw them leave.

He nodded at Jack. "You leave first, okay? I guess I'll see you Monday." Ignoring the sinking feeling at the thought of their tutoring sessions at an end, Ennis hooked his fingers through his belt, hoping that their exit wouldn't be observed.

Jack sauntered over to Ennis, but he found all he trusted himself to do was squeeze Ennis's shoulder, pat him on the back, and then Jack was being thrown once again out into the winter wind hurtling chunks of ice at him. He got into his car. It had some trouble starting, but he was persistent, and soon he was traveling back along the slick road towards home.

This Land is Your Land: Chapter Twenty-Two

Mon, 05 Nov 2007 00:12:44 GMT

This Land Is Your Land - Chapter Twenty-Two

Authors: lolitaray(Ennis) and planetgal471(Jack)
Rating: NC17
Disclaimer: Brokeback Mountain is the creation of Annie Proulx, and no profit is being made off of the sharing of this work. We do this for enjoyment only.
Summary: Ennis is a high-school drop-out giving it a final go. Jack is an enigmatic history teacher. This is a modern-day AU!AU. In this story, POVs are intermingled. Hopefully this is not too confusing to the readers.
Warnings: The story within contains adult themes, including but not limited to: explicit m/m sex, teacher/student relationships involving the high school level, cursing, and descriptions of violence, including sexual violence. This has been written for fun, but we understand that not everyone may enjoy it. Just scroll past!
Authors' Notes: Feedback is so appreciated!

View All Chapters

This Land is Your Land: Chapter Twenty-Two

Ennis was sitting on the grass, brushing the crumbs of his sandwich away when Chuck came up to him, slipping over a white envelope

"What the hell's this?" Ennis eyed it distrustfully.

"From Mr. Twist." Chuck shrugged as Ennis's eyes widened. "Come on, Ennis, you've been skipping class all week.What's it say?"

Ennis looked down to the sheet of paper slowly. "I got to go see him, now. It's about my grade."

"Oh, man." Chucked grimaced in sympathy. "That sucks."

Ennis shrugged, getting to his feet. He was busy wondering just what Jack would say to him. Ennis hadn't wanted to skip History, he felt sick about it in fact, but there just wasn't any other alternative. Every day he planned to go, then couldn't follow through with it. It was stupid to think that there wouldn't be a ramification from it. Ennis made his way through the corridors to his teacher's history class, but the door was locked.

When Ennis didn't show after the first ten minutes of lunch, Jack gave up hope and went to use the bathroom. He was returning, still wiping his wet hands on the thighs and butt of his jeans, when he looked up and saw Ennis waiting outside of his classroom.

Jack's steps slowed. He hoped he wasn't giving away too much emotion in his face, but his heart was hammering. Still, he only intended to talk to Ennis about skipping class, and about trying to be more discreet. He just didn't know how to stand across from Ennis and talk without getting that dry, nervous feeling in his mouth that made him fee like he was the teenager.

"Hey," Jack muttered as he neared the door. His hands shook as he worked his key in the lock, but the tumblers fell into place and the door creaked open.

Ennis moved by with his head down, the features of Jack a blur as he walked into the classroom. As the door clicked shut, he raised his head. Jack's features cut into immediate sharp detail, and Ennis's mind went instantly blank. Jack was standing next to the door, all awkwardness, those deep blue eyes striking a sharp chord in Ennis's heart.

Without any thought at all, Ennis found himself moving. He was close enough that a single step brought him into contact with Jack, and Ennis just had time to see a brief look of startlement cross Jack's face before Ennis's arms were around him. For a moment, he was content to just hang in the tight embrace, Jack's arms wrapping around him in return, Ennis's nose buried in Jack's neck, the scent familiar and sweet.

Moving his head back slightly, he couldn't fail to notice the direction of Jack's eyes, fallen on Ennis's mouth. And then queer could be damned, the lonely cloud he had been wandering in since their separation cleared, and he was kissing Jack hard, so hard, Jack's tongue inside his mouth like a brand. Ennis's hands full of Jack's hair, thick and silky between his fingers, his body pressed up flush, the kiss continuing, raw and furious, to Ennis's mind and mouth.

Jack couldn't say what he'd been expecting, but when he felt Ennis against him, everything flew out of his head. He reached around and pulled Ennis's warm, present body against his own, lips mouthing "sonofabitch," but no sound coming out that his burning ears could hear. Ennis pulled away, and Jack saw his face, his lips, him, so close--

And, as if Jack's own thoughts had summoned the actions from within Ennis, Ennis claimed him in a hard-as-nails kiss. Ennis's strong hand held Jack's head in place, but no one needed to. He didn't fight. He didn't have it in him to fight that, and he didn't have any desire to, so he plunged into Ennis. The classroom burned away and left the only real things that existed in it: them, their kiss, their world. Nothing was outside of it. Surely they were invisible.

All Ennis could feel was Jack's response, everything else paling into insignificance. The only thing that made sense was the way Jack's body molded against Ennis so perfectly. Ennis pushed harder, gripping as tight as he could, Jack's mouth so wet and open he was sure he was almost going to come where he stood. Jack's erection was solid, a heated thickness against Ennis's thigh.

Ennis groaned half in Jack's mouth, grinding closer, until a loud clatter broke his stupor. Breaking his mouth away, he became finally conscious that he had pushed Jack into the blackboard. Casting a quick look around the room, Ennis became aware of where he was. Jack was still up against him, and Ennis could feel the tremors going through the other man's body. Shit.

Stepping back slightly, Ennis tried to tuck his shirt into his jeans. Then, leaning forward once more, he was unable to resist nuzzling into that face, his breath ghosting over Jack's eyelashes and down to his mouth. He could almost taste Jack's shudder.

"Later," Ennis murmured, managing to regain control with difficulty.

Jack gulped air, grasping at Ennis as he moved away. His knees felt weak, but his vision was clearing. Looking around he only then realized they were in a fucking classroom. Jack leaned back against the blackboard and closed his eyes to catch his breath. He opened his eyes to look at Ennis.

"Ennis, you have to come to class. I don't..." Jack shook his head, out of words. "And, I thought about what you said. On the phone." Jack, still heaving, brought his eyes up from the floor to meet Ennis's. "Your hand alright?"

Ennis just nodded dumbly. All he could see was Jack, shirt askew, hair thickly tousled. Jack's lips were wet, and his whole body seemed to be vibrating. Ennis couldn't tear his gaze away from Jack's eyes, dazed and bewildered from the kiss. What had Jack even said?

"Uh, my hand? Seems alright now. And I'm going to come to class, I don't even know why I--" Ennis fell silent. They both knew why he had skipped History. It had all changed now, though. Ennis could feel it in the air between them without saying a word. Even now, he didn't know how he had managed to stay away from Jack for so long. And it was even harder now not to touch him. Ennis, luckily, had practiced a fair bit over the last couple of months.

"Anyways," Ennis finished, clearing his throat, "You don't have to worry about the classes. I'll do some extra study."

Jack heard the words Ennis didn't say. He swallowed around a lump in his throat and restrained a hesitant smile. Ennis had played with his emotions so much--

The door creaked open and Aguirre's imposing, shadowy figure frowned into the classroom. "Twist! I pay you to teach, not to fraternize." His eyes narrowed in suspicion.

Jack looked down to take in his untucked shirt. He pulled it out the rest of the way. "Just talking to Mr. del Mar here about his recent tendency to skip class. You got some reason you need to talk to me?"

Aguirre scanned Ennis up and down with his scornful eyes. Jack watched Aguirre carefully until Aguirre refocused his attention on Jack. "Had to expel Luke Jackson. He set a fire in the boy's room."

Jack nodded. "Not much I can do about it now, I guess."

"Not unless you got a time machine." Aguirre spared them each one more glance before walking away once more, leaving the door gaping open behind him.

Ennis sucked in a deep breath as Aguirre's bulk moved away. "You can't come out to the ranch anymore. K.E., well he thinks--" Ennis hesitated, unwilling to put into words just what K.E. thought. He had a sinking sensation that he was, once again, getting in over his head, but couldn't for the life of him do anything to change it.

Jack watched Ennis carefully with warm eyes. "There's always my place. Lureen won't go telling anyone."

Ennis fought the snakes coiling lazily in his belly at the thought of Lureen. He couldn't be sure Lureen wouldn't tell anyone, and who was to say that Ennis himself wouldn't be caught outside of Jack's apartment?

Ennis found himself shaking his head. "Is Lureen ever away on a weekend? Or--" Ennis spoke slowly, trying to put his thoughts into words. After that kiss though, there was only one thing he wanted and that was Jack's body, on a bed next to his own. Ennis was having a real lot of trouble thinking past that. "There's a cheap hotel, on the outskirts of Riverton--"

Jack remembered the decision he'd made to bend in uncomfortable ways to ease Ennis's fears. A cheap hotel sounded nasty as shit, but instead he said, "Wherever," just as the early bell rang, signaling that they had, at most, a minute before students arrived. Best to let Ennis handle this the way he wanted so he wouldn't get spooked, run off, leave Jack in the lonesome dust he'd been living in this past month. Maybe after Ennis graduated he'd see there was less to be afraid of. After all, it sure sounded like Ennis knew he had something with Jack. Surely he wouldn't marry Alma now.

Ennis felt his heart jump when Jack spoke, realizing as the bell went off that his hard-on couldn't get any harder. He leaned forward before the students came in, whispering under his breath.

"You know the one? The Siesta Motel. After school? K.E. thinks I'm off to see Alma, so I'm not expected back until late." Ennis didn't even think twice about the lying and sneaking around. It was just the way it had to be, and K.E. was now one more person to keep it from.

When the first students arrived, Ennis left, and Jack found himself standing dry-mouthed and speechless in his classroom.

"Hey, Mr. Twist, how come the list we've been keeping on the board is half erased?," Nell asked.

Jack turned to stare at the board.

"And you're covered with chalk." She laughed.

"Mr. Twist decided to erase the board with his butt!," Will chimed in.

Jack sighed and rubbed his hands over the his back, trying to get off the chalk. But he couldn't bring himself to erase the board. He wanted Ennis to see it Monday morning.

* * * *

Jack pulled up in the parking lot of The Siesta and waited. He wasn't sure what the plan was supposed to be, but he knew that going in and asking what room Ennis del Mar was in would not be what Ennis had in mind. Ennis's truck was parked on the end. He'd gotten here first 'cause he didn't have to stay after school to do paperwork or have meetings, and Jack hoped Ennis understood why he had arrived so much later.

Jack climbed out of his car and walked casually down the line of rooms. Would Ennis have parked just outside of the room he was in, as a sign? Or was it the only space open at the time? Jack looked around the parking lot and noticed that there was no lack of empty spaces, so he took a deep breath and knocked on the door.

Ennis squinted through the curtains as he heard footsteps slowing down outside of the hotel room. It had been easier to get the keys then he'd expected, the gum-chewing woman far more interested in her fashion magazine then the prospect of Ennis booking a room. Ennis had a feeling that he could have come in with a party of twenty and she wouldn't have raised an eyebrow. It did a lot towards allaying the fear in his chest.

Looking around the room, Ennis felt a pleasurable satisfaction. He had already taken advantage of the phone, calling K.E. and telling him that after seeing Alma, he would be staying with Chuck and giving him a ride to school in the morning. K.E. sounded wary but didn't ask too many details. Ennis had been counting on it; he knew his brother had been worried about him and would be reluctant to push.

Ennis took his time answering the door, surveying the small room first. There wasn't much apart from the big double bed taking up most of the space. It had started to snow lightly outside, and the small heater was inadequate to keep up with the chill. Ennis had grabbed some bread and beer on the way to the Siesta, and they sat on the small table near the door, not even needing the fridge.

Everything seemed in order, but Ennis, for a very particular reason, felt as nervous as hell. He had been thinking on something during the last four weeks, that hellish time when it seemed that whatever it was between himself and Jack was over forever. The parting had made Ennis very aware of what he had missed and wouldn't have another chance at. But now-- moving around the bed, Ennis placed one hand on the door handle, noting it was shaking with nerves. Taking a deep breath, he opened the door, holding it for Jack.

Jack smiled, his eyelids flickering up. "Hey." He didn't come in despite the cold flurries starting around him. He couldn't say why, just that he didn't want to presume why they were there. Not that it wasn't as plain as the nose on his face why they were there. But Jack felt tense, afraid to get into all this again knowing he would never be able to see his way out.

Ennis felt the smile creep over his face as he met Jack's eyes. "Hey," he returned, rather inadequately. He noticed that Jack wasn't moving, so Ennis grabbed at Jack's arm, pulling him gently into the room. The fact that he had paid for it, for the sole purpose of their meeting, only just hit home. But for some odd reason, Ennis wasn't displeased.

He supposed it was because, in a way, it was the first place that was just theirs, for them to be together, the both of them. Ennis could sense Jack's nerves but, strangely enough, now that Jack was with him, he felt fine. Jack had walked over to the small table and was standing there, inspecting the beers. Ennis followed a compulsion and moved over behind Jack, wrapping his arms around the other man. He could feel Jack relax, leaning back into Ennis as Ennis toyed with the heavy collar of Jack's coat.

Ennis put his mouth near Jack's ear, humming softly, trying to make him more at ease. "You tired, hmm?" Ennis gave a throaty half-chuckle as Jack relaxed even further back into his embrace. Ennis kissed Jack on the neck softly, causing Jack to moan under his breath and move his head slightly, as if hoping for another. Ennis obliged. "Guess I'll just have to put you to bed, then," Ennis murmured, not even caring about the poor quality of his joke. At least, his cock sure wasn't complaining about it.

Jack felt himself falling into Ennis's hold. He leaned back and exhaled a moan he felt like he'd been holding all his life. Ennis didn't fit into Jack's world one bit in a conventional sense, but he fit into Jack's heart in every way. He opened his eyes and saw that the ruddy light cast by the dreary motel lamps threw the shadow of their bodies against the grimy plaster walls-- a single column, fitted together, though so much outside of this room was separate.

This moment, this moment of Ennis finally showing and telling in no uncertain words that he wanted Jack and was willing to take the reins in their relationship, solidified for Jack as the single moment of artless union in their thus-far double lives. Jack hadn't come here under pretenses. Ennis hadn't come as a student. They'd arrived at this motel as lovers, and, within its walls, that's all they had to be.

Jack moved heavily, still dozy and tranced as Ennis led him towards the only bed. Ennis made some joke, and Jack smiled the smile of a man in love, though the joke was bad. Jack'd never believed that Disney shit, the idea that 'one true loves' could come to gay men in hourly motels. But he'd seen their shadow on the wall, and there wasn't much he wasn't prepared to believe any more.

Ennis continued to hum softly under his breath as Jack neared the bed. Feeling a need to be closer, he slipped cool hands up and under Jack's heavy coat, assisting in it's removal. For the first time, Ennis let himself appreciate Jack's body for what it was, running his hands deliberately up and over Jack's shoulders with purpose.

Ennis couldn't get enough of the sex he knew -- rough and hard and taken where it could be gotten -- on the ranch. But this was different. Ennis knew it was different. Jack seemed almost reticent, quieter than normal, and Ennis felt slightly anxious. He had no idea of what to do. Following through with his former plan suddenly seemed a lot harder than when he was planning it.

Sitting beside Jack on the bed, Ennis leaned into his body. "You got away alright?" he murmured, realizing that he was making quite inadequate small talk. Obviously, Jack had gotten away just fine, but Ennis's mind was blank as to what else to say without sounding like a complete idiot. Just the thought of what he was going to go through with sent his heart pounding. And Jack had no idea. So that meant Ennis could change his mind, forget about the plan and Jack would never be any the wiser. Except...Ennis knew he wasn't going to do that. Feeling like a kid going to school for the first time, Ennis compulsively reached into his pockets, taking out a smoke. Maybe that would help to settle his nerves.

Jack smiled over at Ennis as Ennis lit his smoke, Ennis leaning firmly against him. "Lureen's in her own world these days. Wouldn't notice if I never came home, except that the electricity would go out when the bills don't get paid."

"Well, uh--" Ennis broke off, not having a clue what to say or do next. He felt so off balance, as if he were on a first date or something, not meeting in some seedy motel for the night for a secret tryst.

Ennis was broadcasting fear, in the nervous way he was holding his cigarette, in the anxious movements of his hand, in the meaningless conversation. Jack reached over and grabbed the cigarette, stubbing it out in the ash tray on the night stand. "Things'll give you cancer." He turned back to Ennis, but Ennis still looked on edge, wouldn't meet his eyes. "Come 'ere." Jack lifted Ennis's chin with one hand so he could see into Ennis's steadfast russet eyes, solid like the earth, before leaning in to place a tender kiss on the side of Ennis's mouth.

Ennis let his eyes drift shut, relaxing slightly, leaning into the gentle kiss. Jack's hand was strong and warm on his chin, reassuring. Ennis tried to let it all go. Jack wouldn't hurt him, would he? Ennis now realized how often he had initiated their sex play, just doing what felt natural to him. This, summoning up his strength in order to give it all over to Jack, was a lot harder. Ennis could feel his heart, thudding drum-like in his chest.

The tender kiss seemed to last forever, but Jack pulled Ennis down onto the pillow to continue it. He moved to Ennis's neck, then up to his ear, careful not to leave any marks. His hands sought under Ennis's well-tucked shirt to feel cool, smooth skin, as white and virgin as untouched snow.

Ennis felt himself tense up. He just couldn't help it. He pulled away a little, pushing himself up on one elbow, looking seriously down at Jack. Surely he could say this little thing? Jack had always been more than generous at giving him time to speak.

"Jack." Ennis paused, the silence stretching long between them. "I...uh, want--" he broke off again. Just how the hell did you say this kind of thing, anyways? Out of words, Ennis took Jack's hand, guided it around to what he knew couldn't fail to give Jack the message.

Jack's heart skipped a beat in his chest, and pure fear bolted through him, though he couldn't say why, when Ennis laid Jack's hand on Ennis's muscular ass. Jack buried his forehead against Ennis's already-sweaty curled locks, trying to even his breathing. He planted his hand on Ennis's hip, then readjusted to wrap Ennis up tightly, his face still buried, eyes closed. "Ennis, you--" Jack had been about to ask if Ennis was sure, but no way Ennis would ask such a thing if he weren't, and Ennis wouldn't be able to say so twice. Instead, Jack pulled away entirely and climbed over Ennis so they were on their sides, Jack's front against Ennis's back. They were still fully clothed, but there was no rush. Jack kissed Ennis behind an ear and stole back under the shirt to touch skin, rubbing lazily. He laughed warmly into Ennis's ear. "You know what they say about cold winter nights?"

It just felt so incredibly different, Jack rubbing up behind him like that. Ennis couldn't quite think if they had done it that way before. Certainly not with the connotations that this now implied. And yet, Jack's hands were sliding slowly over his stomach and up his chest and Ennis was already dissolving. Seemed no matter what Jack did, Ennis couldn't fail to respond. Pushing up against his ass, Jack's hardness was a constant reminder of what they were about to do. And Jack expected him to concentrate?

"Um...say what about what?" Ennis murmured confusedly.

Jack laughed again. "Up north. Like if you get real cold, they say you have to get undressed and huddle together under blankets. Not even joking." Jack punctuated his trivia with a kiss to the back of Ennis's neck.

"Um...I mean, that sounds real good," Ennis managed to reply, making an effort to try and remove his shirt. Jack tugged it up, and, within seconds, his own was tangled with Ennis's on the floor. Ennis reached shakily down for his belt, lifting his ass and pushing down the denim. He felt absurdly shy, pulling the blankets back up around him.

Jack laughed, slowing pulling down his own pants and crawling under the covers with Ennis, but Jack laid on his back. His hard cock made a little tent under the covers, and he and Ennis came together where Jack's shoulder touched Ennis's back. He was glad for the covers because, in truth, it was getting cold in the room. The heat in this cheap motel wasn't worth a damn.

Jack leaned his head into the back of Ennis's and let out a sigh, then turned back on his side and wrapped his arms around Ennis. Only, this time he found Ennis's cock, already thick and wet. He pumped it a couple times through his hand, whispering into Ennis's ear, "Wonder if they recommend this for warming up, too."

Ennis moaned, pushing back against Jack. Jack was rubbing himself so slowly against Ennis's ass and Ennis couldn't do much more than grab at the sheets, not with Jack touching him that way. It was a strange sensation, almost like Jack didn't expect him to do anything.

Jack's right hand, under Ennis, was starting to fall asleep. He pulled it out while working Ennis's penis with his left hand, angling Ennis slightly towards the mattress. Jack's desire to chart untested waters, to sink into Ennis's asshole, warred with his need to make sure Ennis enjoyed the experience. It was too easy to do wrong, and too perfect when done right, to leave up to chance.

Jack, knowing why he was coming here, had stopped off for lube. He'd thought it would be for use on himself, but he surely didn't mind sharing. He had to take both hands off of Ennis, though, to fish for his pants over the side of the bed and pull the small travel-size tube from a pocket. It would have been enough for him. He hoped it would be enough for Ennis as well.

He settled back, but left the covers open despite the cold. Truth was, he wanted to see this. Tipping Ennis slightly more onto his stomach, Jack kissed him between the shoulder blades. "You okay?"

Ennis nodded dumbly, too overwhelmed to try and find words. He was aware of his position, lying naked across the bed, every nerve ending tingling. It was cold in the room but Ennis scarcely noticed, on fire with Jack's simple kiss. He found himself craving the touch of Jack on him, and unconsciously raised up a bit, thrusting into the sheets. Ennis could hear Jack's sharp intake of breath behind him. Surely he'd get some relief soon, he thought, thrusting again.

Jack felt like he couldn't breath, Ennis moving below him. Jack squeezed the fluid onto his hand and put the tube aside, spreading Ennis's cheeks. "This is gonna be cold." He slipped his fingers in between the tight muscle, feeling tangled hair, and spread the lube generously, fingers seeking and finding his entrance, but not taking it just yet.

Jack spread Ennis wider to see-- Oh God, that was not a good idea. Jack's dick twitched mightily and released a drop of liquid pre-come. "Ennis," Jack exhaled, "You have got to know how beautiful you are back here." He didn't know why he said it, but it was said.

He squeezed out another handful of lube and spread it on himself, laying down behind Ennis once again, pulling Ennis against his chest. Jack slicked himself up, trying to contain the sensations, and then slid his slippery hand back where it wanted to be, in Ennis's crack.

Ennis lay helpless beneath Jack's ministrations. The touch of Jack's hands had almost been too much, until Ennis heard Jack speak. He shook his head in denial, not wanting to think about Jack's words, and tried to speak. "Don't say--ahh!" Ennis jerked his head to the side, barely believing that Jack had just slipped a finger up his most intimate bodily part. It felt incredibly weird, and at the same time, Ennis found he could handle it, which was more than he'd allowed for initially. Moaning, Ennis writhed under Jack, trying to regain control.

Ennis accepted Jack's intrusion like a real man. Jack kissed Ennis fiercely on the back of his shoulder, forgetting about not leaving marks, moving his index finger against Ennis's insides. He pulled his finger out a tiny bit and pushed it back in, experimentally, and then opened his mouth to speak.

"I know you haven't asked, Ennis. Wouldn't expect you to think of it. But I need you to know that--" Jack nudged a second finger at Ennis's hole, slipping it in. He felt resistance, but not too much. "I been careful. I mean, used protection with other men. I've been real careful, since--" Jack immediately wished he could take back that one word. "So," Jack twisted his wrist, his fingers sliding along Ennis's opening, "any diseases you hear about, you don't have to think about. Alright?"

"God, Jack!" Ennis was gasping heavily, every sense focused on the thick, heavy pressure of Jack's fingers. He could hear Jack say something about being careful, but the details beyond that, Ennis didn't much care about. All he could focus on was the now, the fullness down there, the slow burn in his ass. He wanted to yell for Jack to keep going, and at the same time, didn't want it to end.

Jack pulled his fingers out all of a sudden. "Alright, you ready for me? 'Cause I am so ready to fuck you, Ennis." Jack moved his cock up against Ennis, getting the tip right up against the entrance and pushing in only the tiniest bit. Jack spoke breathlessly, "I'm just going to hold here, and I want you to come back onto me. You go at your own speed." Jack started rubbing Ennis's shoulders, chest, collarbone with his lube-sticky left held while his right hand held himself in place for Ennis. Jack kneaded deep into Ennis's muscles. He looked down and saw the purple-red welt rising on Ennis's shoulder from where Jack had been suckling like a newborn. Figuring it was better to have one mark than more, Jack set back to work on it, secretly intent on making it as dark as he could without hurting Ennis.

"Jack," Ennis moaned, feeling his control slip as the pressure built and he could actually feel Jack start to push into his ass. Sweat started to trickle down his neck despite the cold. Focusing on Jack's tongue and teeth, Ennis gritted his teeth and started to push back, feeling like he was going to split apart. He felt his erection start to flag, but continue to push, shuddering beneath Jack.

Jack's breath came in ragged clumps around his closing throat. He started to shake as Ennis leaned back onto him. The very moment that Ennis gave a strong push and Jack felt himself slip through the inner rings of Ennis's muscles, Jack gasped a stuttered, "H-holy fuuu-uuuck."

At that, the world seemed to stop for a moment. Jack reached down and found Ennis half limp, but was not surprised. The first time, the sensations could be awkward, but at least they didn't seem to have been painful. Jack toyed with Ennis's dick, and found himself speaking into Ennis's ear, saying things he would never have said to his stoic, closeted lover otherwise. Something about this situation gave him the permission to be places in their relationship that didn't really exist, that wouldn't exist once they were done and Jack pulled out. But just for now, Jack murmured what he knew would go unacknowledged in other hours, saying, "I've been waiting to do this for so fucking long, you have," he panted, out of breath, "no idea."

Ennis's eyes rolled back in his head as Jack started to move in small, slow thrusts. The burn was subsiding although Ennis found it hard to reconcile what was happening, the realness of the situation made it impossible to ignore. He felt laid open, exposed and, at the same time, Jack was thrusting up inside of him, while holding him half up with one hand. Ennis could hear that deep, rich voice murmuring all kinds of things in his ear, and now, Jack's skilled hand was playing with his cock.

Jack felt Ennis hardening again, and was having trouble restraining his thrusts. Anything he felt like saying turned into choked noises and grunts. Without thinking, he started making a new welt on the top of Ennis's shoulder, biting and murmuring into it. He worked his left hand down into Ennis's balls, holding them like a precious treasure, before moving back up to his man's arcuate penis. Jack loved the bend in it, the way it curved back up towards Ennis as if pointing the way in an arc made to fit in Jack's hand just perfectly from this angle. He longed to take it into his mouth, but that would have to wait.

They were slowly setting up a rhythm now. Jack knew that, for himself, it wouldn't be long. He said so, with a serious honesty, into Ennis's neck.

Dropping his head, Ennis closed his eyes as Jack's thrusts then differently, that hand striking chord after chord of pleasure now through Ennis's cock. Jack pushed Ennis's legs open a little bit more, changing angle, and Ennis grunted, startled at the jolt sparking up inside of him. "Jack--wha--?" Ennis tried to force the words out.

Jack drove in deep with a grunt, the only way he knew how to answer Ennis any more. All his words, thoughts, emotions were gone, and all that was left was a need to get as deeply inside as he could, stroke after stroke after more rapid stroke and Ennis cried out as the thrusts increased, Jack's strong hand pumping him over and over. A moan was pulled out of Ennis with every measured stroke in his ass. Who'd have thought it would be like this, the feeling of Jack inside him? Then he was crying out beneath Jack, jerking into Jack's hand as the orgasm was wrung out of him.

Ennis stiffened as he shot. The muscles inside of him rippled and slammed closed on Jack, clenching him tightly as he tried to move against Ennis's insides. That was all it took. Jack shot like a bolt of lightning, groaning long and low as he sunk his seed deep into Ennis. His hands clenched Ennis's body to his own, holding them close for the entirety of his orgasm. He felt so good it actually hurt as every muscle in his body clenched, his eyes rolled back, and his hips reverberated with a mind of their own. Jesus Christ, Jack didn't think he'd come that hard in years, if ever.

Ennis realized after a couple of minutes that he had collapsed on the bed, and Jack's dead-heavy weight had fallen on top of him. Squirming away, Ennis felt Jack slip out of him. It felt beyond good, after the long four weeks, to have Jack's arms pull him into an embrace, tugging Ennis lazily against Jack's chest. Ennis shut his eyes, muscles aching mildly, but he wasn't really tired. He watched his hand trace patterns over Jack's chest, across his nipples.

"Stay," Ennis said, without thinking of consequence. "I got the room for the night."

"I wasn't planning to go anywhere," Jack whispered, stroking back a little of Ennis's hair. "Merry Christmas, though I guess it is a little late."

Ennis shut his eyes as he remembered that night, Christmas dinner with Alma. It was easy though to only focus on the present. Jack lay close beside him, a heavy, warm presence. It was impossible to ignore his maleness and strength. Jack's hand was touching Ennis's hair, and Ennis leaned forward into the caress.

Ennis felt a piece of him slot into place, marveling at the fact that he felt so at peace in a seedy motel, in the arms of a man who was queer. If K.E. or Alma even had any kind of idea...but it wasn't the time for worries. As always, being alone in Jack's presence left Ennis serene, drained of all worry. Why couldn't it be just like this always, Ennis found himself wishing as he felt himself drifting into a dozy haze.

This Land is Your Land

Mon, 29 Oct 2007 03:06:06 GMT

This Land Is Your Land - Chapter Twenty-One

Authors: lolitaray(Ennis) and planetgal471(Jack)
Rating: NC17
Disclaimer: Brokeback Mountain is the creation of Annie Proulx, and no profit is being made off of the sharing of this work. We do this for enjoyment only.
Summary: Ennis is a high-school drop-out giving it a final go. Jack is an enigmatic history teacher. This is a modern-day AU!AU. In this story, POVs are intermingled. Hopefully this is not too confusing to the readers.
Warnings: The story within contains adult themes, including but not limited to: explicit m/m sex, teacher/student relationships involving the high school level, cursing, and descriptions of violence, including sexual violence. This has been written for fun, but we understand that not everyone may enjoy it. Just scroll past!
Authors' Notes: Feedback is so appreciated!

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This Land is Your Land: Chapter Twenty-One

Jack passed the rest of the week as best he could, doing laundry, cleaning, shopping, finishing his end-of-quarter grades, prepping classes for the spring, really anything to keep himself busy. He didn't drink much and didn't sit around; he didn't like the thoughts that came up when he did. He didn't want to be alone, but he was, and he had to deal with it for now. Maybe in time the hurt would fade.

So, when Joel invited him over for a little New Year's get-together, Jack was more than happy to attend. He brought some cheap champagne and showed up at nine pm.

Joel was in insurance. Most of his friends were, as well. They sat around and talked politics and weather until the alcohol soaked in. They had much lower tolerances than Jack, so he got some amusement out of watching their drunk antics. That is, until he was pouring himself a gin and tonic in the kitchen when Joel came up behind him, pressed himself firmly against Jack's backside, and said, "You have anyone to kiss when he ball drops?"

Jack's hand slipped on the gin. "Joel, I'm not in that kind of place."

"My apartment can be any kind of place."

"And you're drunk."

"Not that drunk."

"Truth is, I am not emotionally available."

"I didn't say anything about emotions."

"Joel."

"What?"

"Back off." Jack's tone said he wasn't playing games.

"Spoilsport." Joel pressed closer.

Jack pushed him away and headed back out in the living room. "I'm going to head home. Not feeling great," he said to no one in particular in the crowded room. No one seemed to care, but Jack waved goodbye to the drunk white-collars and headed back out into the cold streets.

He'd thought he'd wanted to not be alone, but he planned to watch the ball drop on his own, and that was better than pretending to be just fine in Joel's fucking living room.

* * * *

The rest of the week passed slowly for Ennis. It sure didn't seem like a festive season, this Christmas, although not having his parents there was probably a big part of the reason. Ennis was used to coming in at the end of the day soaked to the skin with sweat and bone weary. He had no problems with it whatsoever. In a way, it suited him, the lonely call of the ranch-- just himself and K.E., against the world.

K.E. had announced his intention to head out for New Year's Eve festivities. This time, however, he hadn't asked Ennis to come. Ennis guessed he could see there was no point. His friend from school, Chuck, had invited him to a friend's party, but Ennis had found a ready excuse. You had to be in the party mood and that just wasn't him. Alma had also called, but Ennis had gotten K.E. to take the call, telling her Ennis didn't feel well.

Checking the clock, Ennis blinked. It was a bit hazy because of the seven whiskeys, but it seemed to be just past eleven. He frowned silently, looking at the television. Was it really worth staying up 'till twelve? One more whiskey should do it and he'd collapse into bed.

Looking at the parties going on all over America, though, brought Ennis's thoughts, albeit somewhat confusedly, to Jack. Was he out, painting the town red? Ennis highly doubted it, but then again, he wouldn't have picked the fool to traipse around Riverton looking for queer porn. Ennis still hadn't taken K.E.'s advice as yet. Something happened every time he was around Jack; he felt his control slip away. It made Ennis mighty paranoid, as sometimes, it seemed control was all he had.

Ennis lifted up his glass, pouring half of the fluid straight down his throat without choking. He refilled it absently, another thought occurring. It was doubtful that Jack would be home on a New Year's Eve, but maybe Ennis should call, warn him about the fool risks he was taking--before he ended up with a tire iron in his head.

Despite the fact that he detested making calls, it suddenly seemed to Ennis the best damned idea he'd ever had. After about five minutes, he finally dialed the number right, and could hear the ring, gripping the phone with one hand, as he held his drink up to his mouth with the other. At least the alcohol had dampened his nerves; Ennis felt he could say almost anything.

Amazingly, after a few rings, someone picked up the phone on the other end. Ennis bent forward, as if to look for the other person at the end of the receiver, almost toppling to the floor.

Jack stared straight ahead at the wall, hearing a familiar intake of breath on the other end of the line. Unwilling to believe his ears, he answered flatly. "Hello?"

Ennis dropped the phone at the shock of hearing Jack's voice on the other end of the line. Swearing, he clunked the heavy glass down on the coffee table, dropping to his knees, scrabbling around for the phone. He could only imagine what sounds Jack must be hearing.

Finally, he managed to pick it up, putting it under his chin, and took another swallow of whiskey for strength. Ennis felt a huge unspoken relief that Jack sounded fine and unhurt, while at the same time, the fire of the whiskey roared a rage through his blood at the inevitable consequences that Jack's ignorant actions would bring. Damn fool was just too trusting.

Ennis gave a bitter laugh. "I thought you'd be off at some party for New Years with your friends. I guess I should be glad you're not laying dead on the road, anyhow."

Even saying it seemed to flare that image up, bright in his mind, and Ennis half-choked on his drink, wishing he was there in person to ring Jack's neck. He had no idea how close he had been...how very close.

Jack felt an acid burn in his winter-dry eyes as Ennis, clearly sounding drunk off his ass, railed on him across the phone. Quite frankly, he didn't care much what Ennis was saying. Hearing that rough-mannered, husky voice again was doing things to Jack's groin. He tried to take in Ennis's words but they didn't make a lot of sense. Jack finally settled on what seemed, to his ears, a neutral response. "I was at a party earlier, but I came home. That a problem to you?"

Ennis blinked blearily, Jack's deep, warm voice doing strange things to the pit of his stomach as always. He had a sudden, unreasonable urge to jump into the pick-up and drive, not stopping until he reached the apartment, and was lying in the man's arms. Somehow, Ennis knew that was all he needed. But that just wasn't in the cards now, was it?

Ennis made a valiant effort to straighten his mind, attempting to pick his next words with care. "It's a problem to me when I spend Christmas fighting in a bar because people are talking about you jacking off to gay porn." Ennis let the rest of his breath out in a whoosh at the end of the sentence. "Jesus, Jack, what in hell were you thinking? And go to any goddamn parties you like, I ain't stopping you."

Jack took a couple deep breaths. "Who... What? What did you-- I mean, Jesus, what the hell? How did you-- Who's business is it what I jerk off to? It sure's hell isn't yours any more."

Jack's mouth hung open after he finished his sentence. How did Ennis know about that? How did anyone know about that? His stomach sank and he felt a wave of bitter nausea. Must've been the cashier. And he was, what, spreading it all over town? Passing out goddamn fliers?

Wait, Ennis had fought for him? Jack's brain stalled out trying to process all of this information at once. He was caught between anxiousness from simply being on the phone with Ennis, who had so much emotional power over him, and the thought that he could lose his job or something over a stupid porn video that hadn't been hardly any good, if some parent caught wind of this.

Ennis gave a hollow laugh. "Who's business is it? This town ain't San Francisco, y'know. And it's my business, if I don't want to see you end up dead--" Ennis had to break off at the end of that sentence to take another drink, calm his nerves. It didn't work and Ennis felt the mask crack slightly. "You think I like this? I goddamn hate it's got a be this way."

Jack sucked in a large breath, rubbed his eyes, and sighed. He was finally hearing Ennis. Ennis was worried-- "Ennis, you don't really think they go around killing grown men for the videos they buy this day and age, do you? I'm out. Do you know what that means? It means if someone wants to come up to me and ask me whether I like to sleep with men, I'm going to answer 'hell, yes, you ought to try it.'" Jack knew he was being sarcastic and that that wasn't the best way to deal with an upset Ennis, but he was frustrated. Ennis didn't need to go worrying about him, he could take care of himself. He wasn't going to go around checking behind every lamp post for someone planning to beat on him, and if that was his downfall, so be it. "Jesus, that video wasn't even good. Ennis, you made it plain to me that you plan to let your fear run your life, but I don't have to let your fear run my life." Jack neglected to admit that it already did, as long as Ennis's fear kept Ennis away from Jack.

Ennis shook his head disbelievingly, looking at the receiver. "You don't get it, do you? Nearly broke my hand, because a you. Try sayin' you're out to them ranchers in the bar, Jack," he hissed in disgust. "Why can't you see that? Call it fear? I call it sense. Hell, even K.E. can understand the point. But I guess you're like Earl and Rich," Ennis finished. "They couldn't see it, either. I'm done trying a help."

Ennis dropped the phone back into its slot, and slipped down the couch onto the floor. He eyed the last quarter of whiskey in the bottle miserably. Looked like that was going to be the end of it all. Ennis desperately wished that Jack would call him back, but he knew it was impossible. He was already familiar with the man's stubborn nature, and nothing would change his path. Nothing that is, until he ended up under the tire iron. Well, Ennis had tried.

Jack stared at the receiver. Nearly broke his hand? Defending Jack? Jack noticed his hands were shaking. He wished to God Ennis hadn't hung up. It cast a dark cloud over his evening to not be able to talk to him, even if Ennis was ornery and drunk. If Jack'd had less pride, he might have tried to call back. He figured he must have Ennis's number somewhere in the class records.

But he didn't want to seem like he needed Ennis more than Ennis needed him, so he dropped into bed, trying to make sense of what Ennis had said. Was there really as much danger as Ennis saw everywhere? Those men just wanted to make fun of gay guys, not kill them, right? Those were two different things.

But somewhere in the middle, it mattered less to Jack whether or not his life was in danger. He was just worried about Ennis keeping himself up all night and breaking his hand, thinking Jack's life was in danger. He guessed he could try and be a little more discreet if it would help Ennis rest easier. He'd had enough hardship and surely didn't need any more.

* * * *

Lureen came back the night before school started again, buzzing about her trip. She'd brought Jack a shot glass, as if he needed more reason to be drinking, and a pack of photos to show him what he'd missed.

After her homecoming, which had been, in the end, only about her, Jack was glad to get back to work. Two weeks by himself and he felt like he'd never lived with Lureen and didn't know her. Could they each have changed so much in such a little time?

But when he pulled into the teacher's parking lot that Monday, Jack realized with a lurch to his stomach that it meant he had to see Ennis again. He'd been telling himself that it was no big deal, but that was easier to do when he wasn't sitting in the goddamn school parking lot.

When class time came, though, Ennis never showed. He didn't show Tuesday or Wednesday or Thursday, either. By Friday, Jack was near to worrying himself into an ulcer with whether Ennis was planning on skipping history for the rest of the year, or maybe just dropping out of school altogether. Aguirre would fire his ass for that, most likely, but the thought paled in comparison with the haunting fact that it was Jack's intimacy with Ennis that had driven Ennis away from his education and future.

Friday marked the second full week of school Ennis had missed, since he had skipped one before Christmas break. That was four weeks since Jack had lain eyes on Ennis. Four agonizing weeks by himself. He couldn't believe he'd even made it through four whole weeks.

But Ennis couldn't continue like this. Jack had to take some action against watching Ennis self-destruct on his account. So Friday before class started he pulled aside Chuck. Chuck fancied himself Ennis's friend. Jack happened to have heard from the horse's mouth that Ennis didn't like hanging out with Chuck much, but that was besides the point.

"Chuck, you see Ennis during the day?"

Chuck looked up at Jack, and looked over at Ennis's usual seat, wide-eyed and silent. Jack had taught long enough to know the 'I don't know if I'm supposed to be covering for him' look.

"Chuck, I already know he's skipping. You see him later in the day?"

Chuck nodded slowly.

"Could you bring him this note?" Jack handed Chuck a letter enclosed in a sealed envelope. The envelope bore only "Ennis del Mar" on the outside of it.

Jack'd written it this morning before school, in case Ennis skipped again. It said simply:

Ennis,

Please come see me at lunch time. Need to talk about your grade.

J. Twist

Wed, 24 Oct 2007 05:24:17 GMT

This Land Is Your Land - Chapter Twenty

Authors: lolitaray(Ennis) and planetgal471(Jack)
Rating: NC17
Disclaimer: Brokeback Mountain is the creation of Annie Proulx, and no profit is being made off of the sharing of this work. We do this for enjoyment only.
Summary: Ennis is a high-school drop-out giving it a final go. Jack is an enigmatic history teacher. This is a modern-day AU!AU. In this story, POVs are intermingled. Hopefully this is not too confusing to the readers.
Warnings: The story within contains adult themes, including but not limited to: explicit m/m sex, teacher/student relationships involving the high school level, cursing, and descriptions of violence, including sexual violence. This has been written for fun, but we understand that not everyone may enjoy it. Just scroll past!
Authors' Notes: Feedback is so appreciated!

View All Chapters

This Land is Your Land: Chapter Twenty

The heat from the old wood stove had long died down, and Ennis's room was frigid by two in the morning. Ennis finally stopped pacing the floor and sat huddled by the side of the bed, the smoldering remains of half a packet of cigarettes burnt out in the ash tray.

Ennis looked at his hand. It was swollen and every time he moved it too quickly, it surely let him know, but, overall, it didn't seem to be broken at least.

More than the pain in his hand, which Ennis was aware would depart in a week, was a resounding confusion in his head. Ennis was torn between a mixture of total rage for that goddamn stupid fool teacher of his scouting the streets of Riverton for gay porn, and pure relief that he seemed to have gotten away with it. For now.

Furthermore, K.E's response baffled Ennis. Wasn't he the one who had threatened to blow Jack's head off? Ennis guessed it was only because it was over that K.E. felt safe letting Ennis give Jack a warning. But even so...Ennis lit another cigarette. Sometimes his brother was so confusing, Ennis knew he'd never be able to figure out what was going on in his head.

Finishing his smoke, Ennis lay back on the narrow bed, trying to get the memory of the night out of his head. His thoughts turned naturally to Jack, imagining Jack watching the porn and, of course, before Ennis knew it, he was hard.

Ennis groaned and tried to think feebly of Alma and her dress at the Homecoming Dance but his hand was already wrapping traitorously around his cock while thoughts of Jack burned bright in his head. For some reason Ennis just couldn't get the image of Jack masturbating out of his mind. He could picture it all so vividly. Jack would be lying back, slanting one of those looks at Ennis from under his eyelashes. They were a sure fire certainty to make Ennis's blood burn for him: part seduction and part arousal, for Ennis's eyes alone. Ennis had certainly never seen Jack give this look when sex wasn't involved at least and privately considered them for his sole benefit.

Groaning, Ennis worked his good hand harder over himself, imagining Jack's fist squeezing over his cock with a slick and practiced ease, building it up and up. If he was right there beside Jack, Ennis knew it would take less than one minute before he'd have to act and finish off the job for Jack himself. God knew he had no control when it came to what was between them. Ennis half-groaned with the images swimming in his mind, his orgasm spasming out of him, as his dream Jack smiled, opening his mouth, running a tongue over his full lower lip.

And that left Ennis right back where he started. Should he warn Jack? Maybe that would help, get rid of the sickening fear that seemed lodged behind his rib cage. Ennis turned over in bed, banging a fist into the thin pillow as he realized what day the night had flown into. Christmas day. And that meant Christmas Dinner. With Alma and her family.

* * * *

Snow fell thick around the Beers' house throughout the evening. The brightly sparkling lights around the tree seemed enhanced with an extra sense of festivity that was almost mocking to Ennis's eyes. Ennis sat, squeezed around the packed table, long legs folded over and elbows pressed tightly together. The table was built for six, but twelve adults and children were readily helping themselves to food.

It was a given that Ennis would attend the Christmas dinner. Even K.E. had been offered a place at the table, one which he had readily declined, much to Ennis's chagrin. Ennis would have been glad of a bit of support, and cousins and relatives abounding, all Beers, was starting to wear thin.

Alma sat pressed up next to him in her best, reaching across and helping herself to the groaning plates, ensuring Ennis's plate was full. Mary Beers, Alma's mother, watched the proceedings with an approving eye. Despite the rich meal, Ennis found himself wishing himself back on the ranch with a simple stew and cup of whiskey, lounging with K.E. in front of the television. He was aware of small details about the place, the chink as he placed his cutlery together, the wine flowing smoothly down his throat, but overall the babble seemed to blend together, not requiring his thoughts until Alma's elbow dug into his ribs. Ennis looked up from his plate. Mr. Beers was watching him, obviously awaiting a reply.

"'M sorry, didn't hear you," Ennis mumbled, trying to wrack his brains as to what the man had said.

Alma's mother laughed. "It must be a bit much for you, Ennis, this big family! How's your sister?"

"Getting married." Ennis stared moodily at his fork. It was true-- the letter had arrived two weeks ago, overflowing with happiness. Ennis was sure pleased for his sister, even if it meant she wouldn't be coming to visit him. The advice of his sister, who always had time to listen, would be sorely missed. Ennis wasn't any good at putting his thoughts down on paper, and he couldn't begin to try and write out what had been happening the last couple of months, so he hadn't bothered with a return letter.

"Married! That's wonderful, Ennis. Who's she marrying?"

"Some rancher in Casper. She sounds happy," Ennis replied. Alma slipped a hand over his and he suppressed a sigh. Why was it that every other engaged couple in the world seemed fit to burst with excitement? Ennis guessed that it was just his luck to end up with these sorts of problems.

"Anyway, Daddy was talking," Alma interjected. "What did you say, Daddy?"

"Heard tell you was getting some kind of extra lessons on the ranch," Mr. Beers stated with dislike. "Don't hold for that, myself. School's a waste a time if you ask me. Half what you learn, you never use."

Ennis almost groaned out loud. Seemed no matter where he went, he just couldn't get Jack out of his head. And if he wasn't in Ennis's thoughts for just a minute, others were more than happy to remind him of the man.

"Not getting tutoring anymore," Ennis mumbled uneasily, taking a sip of wine.

"Ennis!" Alma's voice was high pitched and the whole table stopped talking to stare at her in surprise. Blushing, she squeezed Ennis's hand hard, knowing he would be embarrassed.

"Well, I don't see why it's worth getting so fussed about, Alma." Mrs. Beers sounded a trifle confused as she reached across, pouring more wine into Ennis's glass, and Ennis felt a stab of relief. Obviously, Alma had not confided in her mother. Which meant Jack was...safe. And that was the most important thing, wasn't it?

Ennis had spent the whole morning with K.E. hauling snow and after dinner, he was happy to sit on the sofa, long legs unfolded in front of him, almost dozing. Alma still gripped his hand tightly, involved in a long discussion with her cousin about what would happen after the wedding.

"Ennis loves the ranch, but he knows that it's not for us." Alma gave an excited little laugh. "And you should see how high his grades are! There's no saying what will happen when he leaves school, but we won't be going far from Riverton, Carol."

"That's so exciting, Alma!"

"I can barely wait, Carol, I'm getting so excited," Alma smiled and squeezed Ennis's hand tighter. "You know, Ennis, there's an opening at the power company coming up. Maybe it'll be the right timing, just ready for when school's finished. That will be the best opportunity, I think. Regular holidays and pay, better than ranch life, sure enough."

Ennis had only heard the end of her words. In his mind, quieted by the good food and drink, he was already slipping into a half doze. It was an Indian summer, and he was riding his favorite horse. There was a man riding beside him, smiling across at Ennis. Ennis had all the time in the world to note the beauty of those blue eyes, and tender smile, all for him. They went to turn their horses and the man reached out, placing a light hand on his arm. The touch sent a charge through his body, and Ennis moved restlessly on the sofa, murmuring softly underneath his breath.

"Jack..."

"What was that, Ennis?" There was a strange note to Alma's voice and Ennis forced his eyes open blearily.

"Uh, sorry Alma. Power company? Knowing me, probably get myself electrocuted."

"Well, there's lots of things out there for you," Carol noted kindly.

Ennis leaned forward, rubbing at his eyes. Must have been having a nice dream. He could still feel it, thick in his body, a sense of hope and peace. Well. Time to be off home.

* * * *

Jack didn't fall asleep until well after first light, and didn't wake up until the rest of the world was busy preparing their Christmas dinners. He still didn't have much in the way of food, but wasn't up for going to the Diner. Alma wouldn't be there, he was sure, but the knowledge that she was probably off with Ennis wasn't a consolation.

He couldn't stand being dirty and pathetic anymore, though, so he showered and dressed in comfortable but nice clothes before trudging through newly fallen snow out to his car. He drove first to The Breadboard, an American family-style place. It was closed. Jack tried restaurant after restaurant, but they were all closed, even the McDonald's. He finally found an open one: the town's only Chinese place, Hwang's Garden. He stepped in and bathed in the soothing scent of hot tea. Jack dined there with Riverton's few non-Christian residents at the dried-out buffet before returning home.

He was nearly out of beer, but if it'd been so hard to get food today, there was no way he would find beer, that was certain. He drank the last bottle and popped in a movie-- a clean one.

When it finished, he called his parents and exchanged the necessary pleasantries, then put in another. Lureen called during that one to see how he was doing. He told her he was fine, and she ran off to some party or another. Maybe he should have taken that trip with her. A pang of jealousy filled him. She sounded like she was having the time of her life. Her daddy was probably throwing a fit down in Texas about not having his daughter home for Christmas. Jack laughed at the image of L.D. all red and puffed up. Sometimes he even missed the old asshole.

The movie ended and Jack went for another book, though his mind was going stir-crazy. He tried the porn again with the same results, and wished he'd just settled for the book after all.

When night came he dug out the harder liquor, and that paved a smoother path into sleep for his troubled mind. Tomorrow the rest of the world would come back to life and he could go grocery shopping or something.

This Land is Your Land: Chapter Nineteen

Thu, 11 Oct 2007 20:01:37 GMT

This Land Is Your Land - Chapter Nineteen

Authors: lolitaray(Ennis) and planetgal471(Jack)
Rating: NC17
Disclaimer: Brokeback Mountain is the creation of Annie Proulx, and no profit is being made off of the sharing of this work. We do this for enjoyment only.
Summary: Ennis is a high-school drop-out giving it a final go. Jack is an enigmatic history teacher. This is a modern-day AU!AU. In this story, POVs are intermingled. Hopefully this is not too confusing to the readers.
Warnings: The story within contains adult themes, including but not limited to: explicit m/m sex, teacher/student relationships involving the high school level, cursing, and descriptions of violence, including sexual violence. This has been written for fun, but we understand that not everyone may enjoy it. Just scroll past!
Authors' Notes: Feedback is so appreciated!
A/N = This Chapter contains homophobic language, violence and may be disturbing to some readers. Sorry it's so short but it's all we had time for

View All Chapters

This Land is Your Land: Chapter Nineteen

Ennis bent morosely over his beer in the grimy bar, ignoring K.E.'s jovial attempts at humor. K.E. was at his happiest in the bar, a wet whiskey in front of him and his best friends at his side. Ennis knew, deep down inside, that his brother was trying to cheer him up in his own way. It was a typical K.E. attempt to normalize all that had passed between them, but Ennis wanted none of it. He just wished he'd been stronger at refusing K.E.'s attempts to get him out of the house.

Ennis had even protested that he wasn't of legal age to drink, but that had cut no slack, K.E. being good friends with the owner. It was obvious overall, in fact, that K.E. was fed up with Ennis's attempts to lick his wounds in silence, and as usual, his brother was hell bent on moving along, taking a reluctant Ennis along with him.

"What better way to be spending a Christmas Eve than with my true best buddy and my own little brother. So here's cheers!," K.E. roared, leaning back between Ennis and Jerry, slinging an arm around each of their shoulders.

Jerry rolled his eyes in mock sympathy at Ennis, but obligingly took a big drink. Ennis raised his glass and took a swallow, wishing he was someplace else. It was ironic, really, because in the last year, particularly after his Mama and Dad had died, he'd often tried to wheedle K.E. into taking him down to the warm bar so he wouldn't be on his own.

But now, since Jack was out of his life, the small house was the only place Ennis seemed to be comfortable, alone or not. He had never felt so completely out of place, in the crush of ranchers, the volume of noise rising higher and higher as alcohol flowed freely. Ennis cast a cautious glance around. If any of them knew what he'd done with Jack, he'd be a bloodied pulp on the floor, no doubt about it.

"Keith, what the hell does a man have to do 'round here to keep his tumbler full of whiskey?" Colum, plenty drunk by this time of the evening, leaned over the polished wooden bar towards Keith the bartender. He could see his own reflection in the glass ahead of him, but was far more fascinated by the various shapes and sizes of the liquor bottles calling his name. "Keith!"

"Coming, coming." Keith pulled up to Colum and poured him a double. "Might want to switch to beer, though, or you will not be having a Merry Christmas."

James, another regular, a severely cuckolded husband, leaned over from where he was sitting. "How do you managed to stay opened on Christmas Eve, anyway?"

"Not a holiday," Keith answered.

"Too bad you ain't open tomorrow. Could avoid Lila a minute longer."

"Ought to get a divorce," Colum state matter-of-factly.

James ignored Colum. "It's not a holiday?," he asked Keith. "I had off work."

"Well, the rest of us had to work," Keith said. "Isn't that right, Colum?"

Colum laughed. "People do in fact jerk off even on the holy days!" He raised his glass and sloshed it around. "You know I think I had a first today! Fucking homo! Came in and bought one of those homo fudge packer videos. I don't think anyone's ever laid a hand on them."

"Well, why do you carry them, then?," James asked.

Keith snickered. "Maybe Colum here is in the back room shoving crap up his poo-hole on his smoke breaks."

"Shit, that is gross. Don't say that, I'm drinking here," Colum grumbled. "Think the whole goddamn thing is perverted. That's why they got that AIDS. Homos ought to stay dead, where they belong."

"Yeah, can't imagine takin' it up the ass," Keith shook his head and set to wiping the bar.

"And not just them," Colum was getting fired up. "Ones that do that to them, too. You want that all over your pecker! I sure as hell would rather cut it off. They're just as queer."

James shook his head, looking lost in thought.

"Think we better switch you to beer, friend," Keith answered as he cleared Colum's empty glass.

* * * *

The men's voices had been loud enough to carry through to the next street, let alone the fact that they were unfortunately positioned right beside Ennis. Ennis sat, hand frozen on his beer, his heart thudding almost out of his chest. It was as if he'd received a shot of adrenalin, the moment he had heard the word 'homo.' The tone of disgust and danger was blatantly obvious, and made it difficult for Ennis to even breathe.

K.E. shot a swift glance across to Ennis, seeing all of his brother's thoughts, clearly written on Ennis's face and pushed back his chair with a loud scrape, standing tall. He let his whiskey glass thud down on the table, unnoticed.

"This is supposed to be a decent bar. Now I'm asking you to shut your pie holes. No man wants to hear that while he's trying a have a drink." K.E. raised his voice louder than he should have due to four prior whiskeys, booming over the noise. The bar fell nearly silent. Ennis gaped up at his brother.

Colum stood as best he could through his haze of drinks. "You an' your queer lover," he flicked his gaze to the younger, blond man sitting next to the larger man who'd spoken, "wanna make something of it?"

Ennis could see Jerry start to stand but he was already up and striking out at this man, who spoke such filth, without thought. Muscles toned from working hard on the ranch and not softened by drink came to the fore, as Ennis's clenched fist struck the man a crashing blow.

Colum dropped like a stone to the floor and Ennis stood over him, clutching his hand, gasping for breath.

"Anyone else got something to say about me or my brother here?"

James shook his head. "I'd sure not, mister," his mumbled, plopped his hat on his head and rushing out without paying.

Keith stepped back, raising his hands. "Would rather not have any trouble in here."

Colum, for the moment, was having difficulty even getting up off the floor. But he did gain enough breath, and had already lost enough sense to alcohol, to wheeze out a bitter laugh. "Yer probably the one fucking that blue-eyed pretty boy six ways from Sunday. When he's not home with his porn." Colum laughed again, a bitter, broken sound that turned to coughing. He struggled to climb to his feet, grabbing at the bar stool.

Ennis had been inspecting his hand gingerly, sure it was broke, but at Colum's words, he forgot everything. Fury raced through his body and he made another wild lunge at the man. Jerry grabbed at his shoulder just in time, yanking Ennis hard, pulling him backwards.

"He's not worth it, Ennis."

But Ennis had heard K.E.'s breath, deeply sucked in at the other man's speech, and he watched half-paralyzed as his brother moved right up over Colum, kicking the bar stool away with an easy motion, grabbing Colum's shirt, lifting him up close to his face.

Colum's eyes were already widening, the usual reaction to K.E.'s size, and he made a feeble attempt to struggle.

"My brother ain't gay and you'd best remember it, if you want to see yer face in the mirror like it is, again," K.E. hissed, flashing a dangerous across glance to Ennis. "Hear what I'm saying?"

Colum stared at K.E. cross-eyed, drunk and unable to focus, just seconds before he passed out, slumping limply into K.E.'s arms.

* * * *

The snow was a balm to Ennis's weary, hot body, even blowing as hard as it was. Ennis staggered a few paces, trying to find the pick-up, before half kneeling, trying to see his hand. The pain flared up again, sharp and fierce and he bit down on the inside of his cheek.

"Jesus, God, Ennis, why the hell did you do that? Should have left it to me!" K.E.'s voice came out of the white dust as he staggered near Ennis, bending down. "You hurt your hand with that there punch?"

Ennis tried to open and close his hand again, gingerly. "Dunno. Hurts but I'll be alright to drive."

"Why in hell did you interfere? I had him right from the start." K.E. shook his head in bemusement, giving Ennis a helping hand to stand again. Both of them started to walk to the pick-up.

Ennis shook his head. "You can't go round protecting me forever, K.E. And I don't even know why you did it, anyways. You ain't got the time of day for Jack." He half-jerked away as disgust flashed across K.E.'s face. Ennis knew it was at the mention of Jack's name.

"Wasn't going to hear talk about that kind a thing. And anyways," K.E. continued, "you ain't queer."

Ennis didn't bother to comment at that, climbing into the pick-up, managing to steer mostly with one hand. "You saw it," he said softly under his breath.

"Jesus, Ennis." K.E. gave Ennis a beseeching look and Ennis fell silent.

As they rounded the corner, watching the red glow of lamps lighting the windows, K.E. reached out and placed a hand on Ennis's knee. "Best you tell that teacher of yours not to do any such fool thing like what he did." He shook his head. "Can't get away with that in a small town."

Ennis gave a half-hysterical laugh and K.E. wiped away the grateful look on his face like one swatting a fly. "Goddamn spend my whole life lookin' after other people, Ennis. I swear..."

Sun, 07 Oct 2007 05:54:41 GMT

This Land Is Your Land - Chapter Eighteen

Authors: lolitaray(Ennis) and planetgal471(Jack)
Rating: NC17
Disclaimer: Brokeback Mountain is the creation of Annie Proulx, and no profit is being made off of the sharing of this work. We do this for enjoyment only.
Summary: Ennis is a high-school drop-out giving it a final go. Jack is an enigmatic history teacher. This is a modern-day AU!AU. In this story, POVs are intermingled. Hopefully this is not too confusing to the readers.
Warnings: The story within contains adult themes, including but not limited to: explicit m/m sex, teacher/student relationships involving the high school level, cursing, and descriptions of violence, including sexual violence. This has been written for fun, but we understand that not everyone may enjoy it. Just scroll past!
Authors' Notes: Feedback is so appreciated!

View All Chapters

This Land is Your Land: Chapter Eighteen

Jack half wanted to plead, to beg, but he had some pride, didn't he? He'd been broke up with before. So even though he wanted to throw something at Ennis's retreating back, all he managed to say was a weak, bitter, "Yeah. See you around."

Ennis walked out of the door on auto-pilot. It was a simple matter to drive home and finish the chores on the ranch, buffeted by the winds. That night, in bed, he had no dreams, lying still and prone under the thin blankets.

Jack heard the door slam distantly and stared after it, shell-shocked. At some point he slumped down on the couch. He remembered Lureen coming out of her room, asking him some things, something about Nantucket, bringing him a beer, sending him to bed. His dreams that night had lurid, unreal colors, the constant sensation of somebody chasing him.

When he awoke in the morning, Jack had a sense that the world was wrong, though he couldn't figure out how or why. He stayed in bed long after he should have gotten up.

"Jack, sweetie?"

"Hunh?"

"I called you in sick. You have a twenty-four hour flu."

"Hunh."

"My flight leaves tomorrow. You sure you don't want to come with me?"

Jack didn't respond.

"I knew that getting involved with the hicks around here couldn't lead to any good."

"Just go 'way."

"Alright." Lureen closed the bedroom door just a second before a pillow slammed against it where she'd stood.

* * * *

The next day seemed normal, although it continued to rain. K.E. muddled around the kitchen as Ennis ate breakfast, both keeping to themselves. Ennis ignored K.E.'s hungover groans and the way he clutched at his head before bending over to put on his boots. It was just too hard to think, or look, at his brother. It was warm in the house, and Ennis wasn't looking forward to the cold drive to school, let alone the prospect of facing Jack. Ennis just couldn’t even begin to think about that, not yet.

K.E. was also obviously thinking along the same lines, because as Ennis rose to grab his bag and go, K.E. stood in the doorway, looking at Ennis.

"You remember what was said between us, Ennis?"

"It's all taken care of." Ennis spoke in a tone that made it obvious the conversation was at an end, and K.E. subsided immediately.

Ennis deliberated back and forth in his mind during the drive to school, shivering despite his heaviest coat in the freezing pick-up, his breath frosting white smoke into the air. Once a plan took place in his mind, he felt more settled. Ennis was firmly determined to miss History for the rest of the week, no matter how much he had to look out for the Principal. He'd get over this damned awkward situation through Christmas, and be ready to face his teacher the next term.

Until lunchtime, when he was informed of Jack's absence. Ennis found it surprisingly difficult not to show emotion.. Tell me you did not just say that. Jack's parting words echoed in his mind over and over with a monotonic like frequency. But if it were up to Jack, the whole town would know about them before he'd think something was wrong. And then it'd be Jack, lying in the ditch. No, it couldn't be. Not in Riverton.

* * * *

Jack dragged his ass in on Wednesday, numb as the cold winter day outside. He hated to say it, but seeing that Ennis was skipping his class made the day a little easier. He gave a quiz that Ennis failed. Jack felt a pang of guilt, knowing Ennis had failed it because of their relationship, but in the end it was Ennis's choice to skip class. The excuse sounded weak even to Jack's ears, but it's not as if he'd been the one breaking up with anyone.

He'd gone back and forth all week about whether he could stop by the ranch, maybe talk some sense into Ennis. He'd thought they really had something, something special, something worth keeping. It was something Jack had never had with anyone before. That something had made all this other shit, all the lying and the risk, worth it.

But Jack had met K.E., and half the time when he was just sitting at home he wondered if he should fear K.E. coming after him with a baseball bat. No way could Jack step foot near that ranch again, especially not if K.E. had seen... oh Jesus.

Jack remembered it clearly, sitting astride Ennis's cock. It wasn't the best angle for him, or his favorite position, but Ennis had looked up at him like Jack had lassoed the moon and handed it to Ennis. Ennis had no idea all the ways two men could go at it, and Jack had just begun to show him. He caught himself smiling when he remembered what he was planning to introduce Ennis the next time.

No, there was no next time. Ennis's message had been short, but clear, and delivered with no emotion, leaving Jack to doubt whether he had imagined the events of the past two quarters. Maybe he didn't know Ennis at all, and Ennis would tell Aguirre...

Jack's thoughts ran in such sickening circles day and night, but he didn't want to be a lovesick fool, so he saw off Lureen with a smile, and pretended that a high schooler hadn't just broken his heart.

* * * *

Jack rolled over and stared at the clock. It was past noon on Christmas Eve. He could just stay in bed all day, he realized, since Lureen had gone east like the songbird she was. Jack knew he couldn't spend the holiday totally wallowing in self-pity, though. He must be pretty pathetic to be as upset as he was over a relationship he must have known couldn't last. Maybe he'd at least expected that it would mean something to Ennis.

Jack scoured the fridge and found nothing worth eating, so he pulled on dirty clothes, raked a wet hand through his hair, and headed to the diner on the corner. He thought about going someplace else, but the wind was cold, and snow was coming down pretty hard. The next closest place was about four blocks further. Besides, a nice girl like Alma wouldn't be working on Christmas Eve.

Jack shivered and stepped into the heated diner, looking around just in time to see that he'd been wrong. There was Alma serving someone at the counter. He thought about turning around and leaving, but something pulled him over to her. He was lonely as shit right now, no more Ennis, no Lureen, no work to preoccupy him. His parents had invited him up to their place for Christmas, but Jack couldn't shake the idea that it was just a formality. He and his dad hadn't been on good speaking terms since he'd come out of the closet, and he'd almost rather be drunk alone in his own apartment.

Jack slipped into a stool at the counter and waited for Alma to serve him.

Alma looked across with thinly veiled dislike as Jack walked into the diner. Part of her felt instantly guilty at the sight of him, as she'd been the one to encourage Ennis to take the tutoring in the first place. Alma quickly reassured herself. It surely wasn't her fault that his teacher had been gay! Just look at the man, who could tell? It was too damn confusing. His type should have a label on them, or something.

It wasn't like Mr. Twist could do her any harm, Alma contemplated, more the fact that she didn't want Ennis mixed up with any gossip. Alma didn't think she'd ever been as upset as that time Lureen had come in, with her evil mouth, to the diner. Just the idea that folk were talking about that man in connection with her Ennis...Alma repressed a shudder.

And now, he was lounging on the stool, trying to catch her eyes in such a way that Alma could hardly fail to notice his toned, graceful body. Although, he wasn't looking all that good now, Alma thought, wrinkling her nose. Mr. Twist's clothes looked dirty, and that was no way a teacher should be seen in public, on vacation or not. And she could smell alcohol on him. Ennis liked to drink but it wasn't that often, not that she knew of. Alma just wished that Ennis would listen to reason and end the tutoring. He was acting strange lately, and it was easy to see that his teacher held some kind of fascination for him. Ah, well. It would all be over soon enough, her Mama had said.

Alma sighed, checking the little clock on the diner wall. Another hour and she'd be off. She'd hated working tonight, but just couldn't say no, not when Monroe pleaded over the phone about how short they were. She walked up to Jack, resigned, putting on her best customer face.

"Evening," Alma said shortly. "What can I get you?"

Jack smiled back at her, working to be as friendly as possible. "Merry Christmas. What is it people are supposed to eat on Christmas Eve, anyway?"

Alma shrugged, although she allowed herself to give a faint smile in return, despite her distrust. It surely wasn't right that a man should be so good looking. "Most people are having home-cooked meals with their families, Mr. Twist. In here, we just got the regular things on the menu, like any other time. Just please yourself."

Jack sighed and looked around at the other customers over his shoulder. Mostly they were old, lonely looking men. Was he destined to join their ranks? Looked like he already had. "Just give me a soup of the day and salad and, uh, coffee."

"Sure enough." Alma tossed her head to clearly indicate the conversation was at an end, starting to busy herself with the order.

Alma brought his food quickly, but with no spare politeness. Even as she turned to go about the rest of her work, though, Jack reached out and laid a hand on her arm.

"Can you at least tell Ennis Merry Christmas from me? I mean..." It didn't sound right, but Jack had no energy to try harder.

Alma's face set like steel at the mention of Ennis's name. "I guess you can tell him yourself, when you tutor him next," she replied shortly. "Excuse me."

Alma went about helping other customers, leaving Jack shocked. Apparently Ennis had not told Alma that he'd ended the tutoring. That shouldn't surprise Jack so much, though. There were a lot of things Ennis had never told Alma.

Jack finished his food quickly and laid a stack of bills on the counter. He left a decent tip, but he had to admit it was only because he knew any money he gave Alma would help Ennis in some sense. It was all the present he could give to Ennis, so it'd have to do. He wrapped back up in his parka and headed into the winter snowstorm.

He was walking home when his feet made an automatic detour down Shelton Place. He knew where he was going, though he hadn't been there before, and he didn't stop to think about why he was going there now. He passed a sketchy bar and a sketchier-looking tattoo parlor before entering the door of the adult video store.

A tall man with a shock of uncombed gray hair smiled up at him from behind the counter. "Merry Christmas."

Jack forced a smile back and ducked quickly into the rows of video. It took him quite a while to find what he'd come looking for. More than once he'd decided they weren't going to have it at all and had nearly headed towards the door. But, finally, on the last shelf, right by the floor, was a row of six lonely, un-rented videos: the entire gay porn library for the city of Riverton.

The store was empty. Jack squatted to the floor and flipped the videos over, feeling himself harden a little bit even at the thought of what he was doing. He chose one called "Men Who Service," featuring supposed members of the military, and headed to the counter.

His heart was hammering in his chest. If Ennis could see him now... Ennis had always been paranoid and overprotective. It felt good to do something Ennis would never've let him do. But not good enough. Maybe the video could help that.

Jack was glad the store was still empty when he placed the video on the counter. It was a rental place, but he didn't want to fill out any forms, so he dropped a twenty dollar bill next to the cash register and asked, "Mind if I buy it?"

The clerk, who had been all smiles earlier, grimaced across at him, but took his money and dropped the video into a paper bag. Jack slipped the bag inside his parka, bundled up, and headed back out into the frigid eve that, for him, would be an all-too-silent night.

He unlocked his apartment and, still half-hard from his risky purchase, set to work with a purpose. He put the video in the VCR and leaned back onto the couch, pulling down his pants.

He sprawled and waited. Men in uniform did a lot of fucking and a little other stuff too. Jack approved. His dick rose and twitched. He wrapped his hand around it and jerked, stroked, watched the TV and his hand on himself. He shot into the air in front of him. That was it-- the twenty dollars' worth of entertainment was over nearly as quickly as it had begin, and he still had a Christmas break to fill.

Jack leaned back and sighed before turning off the TV and cleaning up the mess that should have been made in some way that involved the living body of a young, lean man. The evening was still young, but he had nowhere to go and nothing to do, so he pulled down a fat book from a shelf-- Clear and Present Danger by Tom Clancy-- and wondered if he could have it finished by morning, 'cause he doubted he'd be doing much sleeping tonight.

This Land is Your Land : Chapter Seventeen

Tue, 02 Oct 2007 09:13:30 GMT

This Land Is Your Land - Chapter Seventeen

Authors: lolitaray(Ennis) and planetgal471(Jack)
Rating: NC17
Disclaimer: Brokeback Mountain is the creation of Annie Proulx, and no profit is being made off of the sharing of this work. We do this for enjoyment only.
Summary: Ennis is a high-school drop-out giving it a final go. Jack is an enigmatic history teacher. This is a modern-day AU!AU. In this story, POVs are intermingled. Hopefully this is not too confusing to the readers.
Warnings: The story within contains adult themes, including but not limited to: explicit m/m sex, teacher/student relationships involving the high school level, cursing, and descriptions of violence, including sexual violence. This has been written for fun, but we understand that not everyone may enjoy it. Just scroll past!
Authors' Notes: Feedback is so appreciated!

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This Land is Your Land: Chapter Seventeen

Ennis glanced out of the window again, as he cleared away dinner. No sign of K.E., which was strange for a Sunday evening. Although his brother inhabited his local bar on the weekend with a ritual-like frequency, it was rare for him to be out this late. Ennis had noted that the pick-up was in its usual place beside the barn, so K.E. must have called one of his buddies for a lift. Even so, he usually was home well in time for something to eat, in part due to his early start on Monday morning. Ennis's brow creased as, through the darkness, thunder boomed. Opening the window slightly so as to hear the sound of a car better, Ennis's nose caught the scent of rain in the air. Hopefully K.E. would make it home before the storm hit.

Ennis looked out the window time and again, and felt a sigh of relief rise up when K.E. was dropped off home, his friend driving back down the road with a cheery toot of the horn. It was almost a quarter to twelve. Ennis could tell by K.E.'s weaving up the stairs and heavy hands on the door that he'd had more than a few, and he swung the door quickly, anxious to assist his brother.

K.E. shrugged off Ennis's offer of help, instead going over to the cupboard and grabbing for the whiskey bottle. His attempt to pour the liquid into a glass failed dismally, amber fluid spilling out onto the table top and dripping to the floor. The smell of the malt was strong in the air and Ennis creased his brow, concerned. K.E. shrugged to himself, holding the bottle up to his mouth instead, drinking deep.

Ennis could tell that something was evidently very wrong. "Don't you think you've had enough, K.E.?" he ventured cautiously. Last time his brother was in this kind of mood it had been after his parents' funeral. Least, the part that Ennis could remember.

"I ain't had not nearly enough," K.E. growled out, directing a fierce glance across at Ennis.

Ennis bristled at the look and judgmental tone. "What in hell is your problem?" he demanded, forgetting that K.E. drunk was not a man to be crossed.

"You want to know do you, Ennis?" K.E. half slurred the words, taking another slug.

"Sure," Ennis stated, although he felt a cautious fear at the tone of K.E.'s voice.

"Well." K.E. banged the bottle on the table hard, causing Ennis to start. "Let's see. First of all on Friday, I hear from my friend that my little brother's been getting some kind a private tutoring from a gay man." K.E. raised his eyebrows and looked at Ennis, who didn't respond. "That's right, Ennis, couldn't believe it myself."

"And, then," K.E continued, "I go into the barn today, cause I had a real bad feeling, was worried about my little brother. And-- you know what I saw?" K.E. paused, half leaning back on his chair, watching Ennis, who was standing, frozen with fear. "I see my little baby brother, laying on his back, and that man," K.E. threw his empty glass across the floor and Ennis started as it shattered violently, "that man sitting a top of him."

Ennis swallowed audibly as K.E. stood, backing away a few paces, but K.E. merely lurched to the fire, spitting and returned to his seat, to take another long drink. "So, Ennis, what do you have to say to that?"

Ennis swallowed again, trying to make the attempt to speak but his tongue stuck thickly to the roof of his mouth, his body cold all over, despite the warmth of the fire. He made the attempt again, this time managing to half stutter out K.E.'s name.

K.E. peered over at him closely, and evidently the sight of Ennis calmed him down somewhat. He made a drunken motion toward the other chair.

"Jesus, Ennis, for Christ sakes sit down. I ain't going to kill you." K.E. offered the bottle as Ennis half collapsed into the chair, but Ennis's hands were shaking too hard to get a proper grip. He finally managed to take a swallow, teeth chattering on the neck.

The whiskey gave him some strength, though, and he finally met K.E.'s gaze, a mixture of drunken and angry bewilderment.

"Christ, K.E."

"Got that right," K.E. groped for the bottle again and took another drink. "You got a be out a your goddamned mind, Ennis. Jesus. If I'd had any idea..."

"What are you going to do?" Ennis whispered quietly.

"Do? What can I do? I ain't going to do anything," K.E. replied. "I ain't going to have the whole town talking about us. You think I want you killed? You remember nothing of what happened with those men? What Daddy showed us?" He saw Ennis shrink visibly into the chair and relented, reaching out and covering Ennis's hand.

"I got no idea what's going on, Ennis, but I tell you one thing. That man ain't never going a set foot on this ranch again. And you're going to tell him not to lay one goddamn hand on you." K.E. paused, assessing Ennis. "Or you on him. I seen how he looks at you, now. It's all fallen into place. He won't if you say so. I know what he feels for you."

At Ennis's look, shaking his head in denial, K.E. snorted in disbelief. "Think what you like but I know. If he does one more thing, I'll blow his goddammed head off, myself." K.E. looked in drunken-bafflement all of a sudden at Ennis. "Were you still planning on marrying Alma?"

Ennis nodded dumbly and K.E. quirked his mouth in satisfaction. "Well. We all make mistakes. And lucky for you, Ennis, you can make this one right." He lent forward, putting a hand on Ennis's shoulder. "We're all we got now, Ennis, you an' me. Got a look after each other."

Standing heavily, K.E. left the room, leaving Ennis, shell shocked and numb, staring at the table.

* * * *

Thick sheets of rain drummed heavily on the classroom windows the following Monday morning. Ennis had difficulty concentrating, his mind going over and over the conversation with K.E., eyes locked on the downward trail of rain, snail-sliding rivulets into the wooden creases of the white window sill. At the end of the lesson, he listlessly gathered his books and made his way to Jack, being careful to stand a good yard away from his teacher.

Avoiding Jack's eyes, Ennis lowered his voice. "I need to speak to you, later on."

"Hmm, alright. When's 'later on'?" Ennis seemed nervous and upset, making Jack want to go to him, gather Ennis up in his arms, so badly that Jack felt his heart well up.

Ennis flashed a nervous glance towards the doorway. "Nowhere here's good. I'll have to come by your place."

Jack shrugged and watched Ennis leave. Something had Ennis worried bad. That knowledge distracted him the rest of the day. He told himself not to worry too much about it. Aguirre hadn't let on that he knew anything, so whatever it was couldn't be all that bad.

That evening when Jack got home, he started planning for the next day to distract himself from the nervousness weaving through his gut. He considered a beer, but he didn't like to drink while he was doing school stuff. It only made everything take longer. Lureen was quietly doing the dishes when a knock sounded on the door.

"Expect that's your boyfriend," Lureen huffed.

"You're just sore 'cause I'm not going to Nantucket with you."

"Well, I'd hoped you'd be dating by now..."

Jack walked up behind Lureen and squeezed her shoulder. "You're my hero, you know that?"

"Jack, you know I don't approve."

"No, but you been real good about keeping your mouth shut, and don't think I don't appreciate it. Ennis n' me both." Jack dropped his teacher's edition of the history book onto the kitchen table, making sure the quiz answers were closed firmly inside. Ennis hadn't ever tried to sneak ahead like that, but Jack was still careful not to help him by accident.

A second knock reverberated through the apartment, harder. Jack walked swiftly to the door and swung it open. He was greeted by a grim-faced Ennis, wet and cold from the rain that had turned into sleet, coating the roads in an ice too dangerous to be driving around on.

"Shit, it's cold out there. Get on in here." Jack held the door wide open for Ennis

Ennis half-stumbled through the door, numb from the drive. The pick-up's heater still wasn't working and he'd had to unwind the window to prevent the windshield fogging over. Realizing too late that he was up far too close to Jack's body, Ennis backed away a step or two. The apartment was warm, and Ennis couldn't fail to notice Jack's light blue t-shirt. Or rather, the way it fitted to Jack's body. Ennis willed his glance not to drop lower, flashing a cautious look instead at Lureen. The sight of Jack's ex was actually a relief, strangely enough. Even after the last few months, the power of Jack both disarmed and unnerved Ennis and he couldn't afford any sexual distractions, not now.

"Evening." Ennis bit his lip, trying not to look at Jack. "Can't stay long. Just got something to say and I'll be off."

"Want a drink or something?," Jack asked, pretty much ignoring Ennis's words.

Lureen took the hint. "I'll be in my room. Packing for my trip to Nantucket."

Ennis nodded his head distractedly as Jack's words actually penetrated. Yes, he could do with a drink. Just the one, and he doubted he'd be staying for long after he said what he'd come to say. But anyways. And he didn't even know if Jack meant an alcoholic drink at all. At the moment, Ennis felt like drinking a whole bottle of the strongest spirit he could find. "Uh, yeah." Ennis stuck both hands in his pocket, shuffling nervously. "I could do with it, if you don't mind."

"What do you want?" Jack was standing close, smiling up at his man, here on a cold winter's night. "I could make us hot toddies or something. Take me a few minutes."

"Uh, sure." Ennis watched Jack start to walk towards the kitchen, then the sickness in his gut flooded up, overwhelmingly. "No, wait!" Jack turned, obviously startled at the sound of Ennis's raised voice.

Making a wild gesture, Ennis's flailing arm encompassed the whole apartment. "K.E. knows, alright?"

Jack stared at Ennis for a moment, open-mouth. "What makes you, uh..." He knew Ennis had some tendencies to be paranoid about being caught, so probably some off-hand remark his brother had made set off this latest bought. "I'm sure it's not as bad as it seems. Just calm down a moment." Jack nearly pushed Ennis backwards to the couch and down onto it. "What's going on?"

Shaking his head, Ennis felt unable to sit still for even a second, not with everything building up in his chest. He had to say it. Even though Jack was sitting beside him, Ennis pushed himself to his feet, starting to pace. It made him feel better, somewhat, a distraction.

The worst of it was what K.E. would have seen. Ennis couldn't even begin to imagine it. He had been initially confused when Jack had lain over him, taking both of his hands and holding him strong, pushing Ennis's arms above his head. Ennis had become absorbed by Jack's body, the smooth, clear definition of his muscles, Jack's easy strength and grace so distracting that when Jack acted, Ennis had found his breath completely stolen away.

Jack, sitting on top of him had been a complete surprise, Ennis not even imagining such a position possible between two men. He had been astounded by Jack's control, the yielding power of the act as Ennis lay helpless underneath, barely breathing as Jack brought him further and further into ecstasy. Ennis had been utterly transported, caught with Jack in their own private world. So carried away that Ennis hadn't even noticed his own brother watching them. Which brought him full circle. Ennis raised his hand, biting at a hangnail so hard he tasted blood.

"Not as bad as it seems? What we do? Bullshit. And that's why you're going to run into trouble." Ennis let a deep breath escape him, continuing flatly. "I seen what happened to neighbors of ours, ten years ago, who didn't think it was so bad to be seen. Gay. Friends of my Daddy took one a them, got at him with tire irons, beat Earl to death..." Ennis had to stop to pause at the sickening memory, blinking to try and rid himself of the horror he'd seen.

"Anyways, just lucky it was K.E. that saw us. He doesn't want to think about it. Won't say a word. If it were my Daddy that saw it...well." Ennis shook his head, unable to speak for a moment. "This can't ever happen again, ever." Ennis looked blankly down at himself. Hadn't even taken off his coat, which was probably for the best. "I've said all I'm going to, now."

Jack spun to his feet and grabbed Ennis by the arm. "Wait. What the fuck are you saying? Molly-- Molly's uncle?," Jack stammered. "And, and you brother saw us? Can you hold your horses a goddamn minute and talk to me?"

Ennis tried to shake Jack off, but he was hanging on too damn tight. "I can't put it any plainer," Ennis hissed. Feeling paranoid, he looked into the direction of Lureen's closed door, hoping like hell she hadn't heard a thing. "Don't you see? This is madness. It shouldn't have gone on as long as it did."

Jack felt his mouth go dry. Had this just been... to Ennis had... "Ennis," he whispered, low, accusatory. "Tell me you did not just say that."

Ennis jerked his arm back, breaking free of Jack's grip. "Guess I'll see you 'round," he finished, starting to turn to the door.