This Land is Your Land - Chapter Thirty-Five
Sorry for the massive hiatus. I take full responsibility, and can give you some hope that it's over. Some of you may be aware that a completed version of this story was posted privately. This public version will be different, and I can't tell you how they differ as I have not read the private version, but I imagine all edits are small in both versions so they should read nearly identically. Any major issues or errors you find in this and future chapters are 100% my fault as I am editing solo, whereas the content is as it has ever been-- the amalgam of my own Jack and ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif)
lolitaray's Ennis. Enjoy :) ~planetgal471
Title: This Land is Your Land - Chapter Thirty-Five
Authors: lolitaray (Ennis) and planetgal471 (Jack)
(lolitaray also writes K.E. aka the most awesome character ever)
Rating: NC-17 on/off through the fic
Disclaimer: Brokeback Mountain is the creation of Annie Proulx, and no profit is being made off of the sharing of this work. We do this for enjoyment only.
Summary: Ennis is a high-school drop-out giving it a final go. Jack is an enigmatic history teacher. This is a modern-day AU!AU. In this story, POVs are intermingled.
Warnings: The story within contains adult themes, including but not limited to: explicit m/m sex, teacher/student relationships involving the high school level, cursing, and descriptions of violence, including sexual violence. This has been written for fun, but we understand that not everyone may enjoy it.
Authors' Notes: Feedback is so appreciated. All editing and beta-work done by planetgal471.
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This Land is Your Land: Chapter Thirty-Five
"Ready, Ennis?"
Ennis stared into the mirror, then made one last effort to flatten his curls. "I guess."
The drive to the school was mostly filled with silence, K.E. throwing certain statements at Ennis, Ennis answering in monosyllables. Really, Ennis didn't know what was going on. He'd managed to shut everything out when Jack left, and studying had brought a strange kind of relief. Just himself and the books, no need to call upon Alma, no need to chat with K.E. It just seemed to drive the emptiness away, for a while.
Nightmare upon nightmare galloped over Ennis at night, and he was having more broken sleep now then any calving season, ever. It was worse when he awoke from a fragmented dream, only to realize that even worse than the dream was the day's reality: that Jack had left, forever. Only way to shut that out in the dim light of day was to blearily reach for his books again, the page turning and black lines taking Ennis someplace else, someplace just a little more bearable than the situation he was in at the moment.
Pulling up at the school, K.E. awkwardly straightened his jacket, seeming out of place and unsure in unfamiliar territory.
K.E. muttered, "You look like shit. There's Alma over there," and cracked the stiff door open, heaving himself out of the truck. Ennis noted that he didn't even wait for an answer, so sure that Ennis wasn't going to respond. Ennis felt a pang of guilt, making life so hard for his brother. What the hell was wrong with him?
Now, however, this was the end of it all. With the diploma Ennis would be free of school and all it entailed.
* * * *
Just as he expected, Jack had no trouble getting into the graduation ceremony. A few teachers slapped him on the back, and soon he was in the high school gym. He climbed the stairs of the bleachers nearest an exit door so he could make a fast escape without being seen when this was all over, and it put him farthest from the assembly of teachers and administrators waiting to organize the students to file in. He was almost sitting behind the stage on one side, but he didn't really care what kind of view he got as long as he got one. He settled down and sighed, stretched his legs as much as the cramped seating would allow, stiff as they were from the drive. The man in front of him turned to look at the clock high up on the wall behind them--
Jack froze. K.E. had turned back facing forward and didn't appear to have seen him, but of all the fucking seats he could have taken in the entire gym, how the hell had he ended up behind Ennis's brother? Ennis's brother who had seen them, seen what they did together. Jack heard himself swallow hard.
Still, K.E. had never raised a finger against Jack, had fixed Ennis's truck up for the trip to the mountains. That had to mean something.
Ten minutes after the ceremony was supposed to have started, the crowd grew restless. Jack had been to enough graduations to not be surprised, but K.E. turned to glare at the clock again. This time, his eyes caught Jack's.
* * * *
Shifting uncomfortably for the fiftieth time, K.E. wondered why the hell they seemed to make bleachers so small. It had been six years now since he'd done time at Riverton High and damned if he wasn't back again. Wouldn't have come here for a million dollars if it weren't for Ennis.
Moving his ass closer to the front of the hard metal, K.E. happened to glance sideways. Hell if it wasn't old Ms. Woods, still looking like she was about to expire. K.E.'s mind flashed guiltily back at once to two years of high school and numerous detentions, and he instinctively tried to squash his large bulk further into the bleachers, evasively planning to stay out of sight.
Surely they'd be starting proceedings soon, not that he'd been to any sort of graduation ceremony before. K.E. grimaced inwardly to think that he'd been the one to push Ennis into going, now. Could have gotten away with missing it, as Ennis had shown as little interest in the ceremony as he had in anything since he'd returned from the Tetons. It was like living with the walking dead. K.E. had thought it would cheer Ennis up.
The noise of parents and relatives was deafening, with still no sign of order from the stage. Groaning, K.E. turned to look at the clock again. Rate this was going, he'd be here all night. As his gaze turned to flick up at the clock, K.E. caught a familiar face out of the corner of his eye. Frowning, it took a few seconds to place the face and when K.E. did, he got an unfamiliar jolt of trepidation. What the hell was Ennis's...God, K.E. didn't even know what the hell to call him. Wasn't his teacher anymore, friend was a long way off and the term lover brought connotations to K.E.'s mind that would be giving him nightmares for months. Anyways, Ennis had told him that the man had quit, disappeared. How the hell he had ended up behind K.E. in the whole of the damn gym, he couldn't even begin to imagine. K.E. stared blankly at Jack, not knowing what to say.
This was fucking ridiculous, Jack thought, as he gazed into K.E.'s eyes. He mustered a smile for the man that had raised Ennis so well, nodding in greeting. "Hey there."
K.E. managed to nod, returning a feeble answer. "Twist."
Frowning, he turned back to the stage again, wondering just what the hell Jack was doing there. Took a few seconds before it clicked. Surely... surely Jack wasn't there to see Ennis graduate. But as K.E. remembered now the way that Jack had looked upon Ennis back at the ranch, he had to unwillingly concede that probably was just the reason Jack was now here. Goddamn. Was there ever anything more difficult? K.E. was seized with a new fear. Sure enough, Ennis didn't seem to be getting any better since their parting, but that didn't mean it wasn't going to change once he left the school and got a job. What would happen if Ennis saw Jack? K.E. cursed inwardly, a spasm of worry seizing him. He'd put up with Ennis's depression for over four weeks now, and he'd just about had enough. K.E. searched the empty stage, as if miraculously hoping Ennis would appear and grab an invisible diploma, and they could leave at once.
I'm, um..." Jack cleared his throat, not in the least surprised nor taken aback to be talking at K.E.'s back, "How you all doing?"
K.E. half-shrugged, resigned. Part of him had to give Twist credit for his courage. At least he wasn't one of those high-voiced nancy boys that K.E. had unfortunately stumbled into outside of a nightclub in Denver one night. He'd kept the secret, too, the fact that his little brother was having sex with... but K.E. couldn't think on what Ennis had done, not now, not ever. The details made him shrink.
The rows were so close together that K.E., leaning back slightly, almost expected to bump into Jack's knees. He spoke reluctantly, out of the corner of his mouth, with an sudden inner sympathy for this man who'd meant so much to Ennis.
"Gettin' by, I guess. You?"
"Yeah," Jack nodded towards the floor. "Moved to Denver. Got a job with the state parks down there, mostly outdoor work, but still in, you know, education..." Jack's voice trailed off. "I do like being outdoors most days."
"Huh." K.E. paused a long while and then realized he should maybe contribute. "State parks you say?"
"Yup." Jack sighed and looked up, feeling the awkwardness between them and hoping it would ease, but it didn't, so he broke it with more words. "Got an apartment just southeast of Denver, little town called Parker? Just a one-bedroom since it's only me... It's a real nice place, though. Safe, clean. The people seem nice. People are, uh, a little more... liberal down that way."
"Well." K.E. grimaced, desperate to look at the clock again but reluctant to face Jack. He tried not to heave a sigh. When the hell was the damn graduation going to start? "Sounds like you're better off there then in Riverton, I guess. You got any idea when this is going to get underway?"
Jack laughed. "Last few years they always start between fifteen and twenty minutes late at the earliest. Should be any minute now."
K.E. groaned and made a feeble effort to stretch his legs out a bit. "Damn."
"Is he..." Jack felt a persistent tingle between his legs that spread to his hands. He was getting hard just talking about Ennis. God, he missed Ennis so much he couldn't hardly stand it. Jack forced a smile and tried again, but even the subject at hand didn't diminish his hard-on. "I guess they're getting married soon. He's happy?" Jack sincerely could live with his sorry state of rejection and loneliness if it finally brought Ennis the peace the man craved.
K.E. shifted in his seat, casting a cautious glance around at the other families in the gym. The noise was loud and echoing, and no one seemed to be paying the slightest bit of attention. It had been weeks since K.E. started dealing with Ennis's moods, without a soul to talk to about it. He was worried sick, drinking more than he should. His sister would have been able to advise him, but K.E. wasn't going to bother her, not while she had her own wedding plans. He'd sooner shoot himself than confide in his drinking buddies. K.E. felt so bad he'd taken to not answering the phone for fear it was Alma. He wondered again just what had taken place between Ennis and this man, who had single handedly turned their whole world upside down.
K.E. turned, fixing Jack with a direct stare. "Happy? You got a be joking." Lowering his voice, K.E. continued. "He's still says he's marrying her, won't listen to a damn word I say. He's a goddamned wreck, and so am I because of all a this. Happy? Jesus fucking Christ."
Jack's mouth went dry. His eyes were riveted to K.E.'s, and he read the blame there as well as the desperation. Jack felt a flame of indignation rise within him. This situation was Ennis's fault, not his. Ennis was marrying Alma 'cause Ennis wanted to. "Well, I gave him another option and he wouldn't take it," Jack answered, his face set in iron and stone, anger covering all his emotions in a layer of lava-- anger at Ennis, at Alma, at K.E.-- at everyone.
K.E.'s eyes narrowed also in anger, until, remembering where he was, he made an obvious effort to gain control. "You gotta be crazy if you thought he'd take that option," K.E. hissed, clenching his fists in return. "What kind of a way to live is that? Would you want that for your brother? Your son?"
K.E.'s words tipped Jack over the edge. "What the hell is wrong with it? You got a problem with me, maybe we should take it outside." Jack managed to keep his voice to normal levels, though it held a menacing edge. "And for the record, yeah, you're damn right I'd rather see my loved ones live happy than sad." He stared K.E. down. "Wondered where the fuck Ennis got his stupid ideas of what's possible and what's not. I though it came from some guy in a ditch, but I guess that wasn't the only place, huh?"
K.E. had just about had enough. Stuff the damn graduation. Heaving his bulk off the bleacher, he jerked his head in the direction of the entrance, glaring at Jack. 'Takin' it outside sounds good to me. In fact, I'd like nothing better. Just thought of a couple a things I'd like to say to you," he stated menacingly.
Jack was filled with sadness and misgiving at K.E.'s reaction. This had all gone downhill fast. But maybe it didn't have to come to blows just yet. Maybe they could talk this over like adults. Jack hated the way they were snarling like animals fighting over a piece of meat. The truth was that Ennis should really have the final say, but Ennis had chosen against Jack, so he wasn't too content with that idea. Still, what could he do? He hadn't come here to win Ennis back, but he didn't come to be blamed for Ennis's lot in life either. The nearby exit door flew open and the cool spring air rushed against Jack's face as he followed K.E. away from the gym.
K.E. turned to Jack once they were out of the building and in relative privacy. "Look here. I don't want to fight with you, and it's not just because a Ennis. Ain't the sort to make grievances out of nothing. But Ennis ain't the same since this all started. And you're his teacher, goddamnit. Ain't that meant to count for something?" K.E. planted hands on his hips, awaiting Jack's answer.
Jack was mirroring K.E., also standing with his hands on his hips. He frowned, his lower lip sticking out the way it did, and nodded towards the ground. K.E.'s words struck way too close to home. Jack could think of no way to say he was sorry that wasn't both inadequate on the one hand and untrue on the other. He settled instead on the simple truth. "I didn't come here to start anything. I just wanted to make sure I hadn't fucked up his life too bad. Make sure he got that diploma." Jack was watching the concrete under their feet. "Wasn't even planning on being seen. I can leave now, go back to Denver," Jack looked up at K.E., "if you like."
K.E. sighed at this, his anger evaporating at Jack's words. "You weren't planning on being seen? I thought... I don't know what I thought. All I know is what Ennis's been going through. And before the Tetons. Huh." K.E. shook his head. "Never seen him so happy. Now? He can't eat, can't sleep. God knows he won't listen to me. He's got that diploma but he's not too good otherwise."
Jack knew the feeling, had been feeling not himself though he'd had a new job to distract him and had managed to keep it together since moving out of Lureen's. "I am sorry about that, but there isn't anything I can do. I got terms and Ennis has terms and I don't think either of us is going to bend." Even as he said the words, Jack wondered if it would be so bad being Ennis's extramarital secret. He talked a big game, but in his heart he wasn't so sure. Now that he put it this way, realizing that nothing would ever bend from Ennis's end, he wondered if he should leave his own hopes behind after all. But K.E. was mad about the teacher shit, and he had a point there. None of this should have ever happened. Either way, Jack had this new job now. He sighed and rubbed a hand against his forehead.
"Hey." K.E., despite himself, moved forward, putting his hand on Jack's shoulder, moved at the man's obvious despair, his desolation a mirror image of Ennis. "I'm sorry. Can I ask you something? Ennis's got it into his head about applying for college. Did you have something to do with that?"
Jack moved a his hand away from his brow, squinting across at K.E. "Did he apply? I know of this scholarship... Ennis is a shoe-in I swear, and I went to college with a guy on the board. I'm pretty sure I could, you know, if he needs a scholarship..." Jack had checked it out in the weeks since he'd left Riverton, not asking himself too deeply just why.
K.E. frowned slightly. "Where abouts is it? Not in Riverton, I guess. But if it gets him away from Alma... hell." Shaking his head, K.E. looked off into the distance. "If it's what Ennis wants to do, I'm not going to hold him back. You give me the details, I'll let him know."
"It's, uh, you can use it at any college..." Jack fished in his pocket and came back with a piece of paper. "Do you have a pen?"
"Sure." K.E. took down the details quietly, watching Jack out of the corner of his eye. The man seemed serious, and solemn, a total contrast in point to the figure who had shaken his hand so exuberantly eight months ago. K.E. remembered against his will the way Jack's gaze had always seemed to return to Ennis. K.E. still couldn't believe he'd missed what those looks had meant. Maybe because he'd never felt that way himself. It was one fucked up situation, all round. "Guess we best go in then or you'll miss Ennis. Uh...the graduation, I mean."
touched
