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Entry tags:	this land is your land

This Land is Your Land - Chapter Thirty-Eight
Title: This Land is Your Land - Chapter Thirty-Eight
Authors: lolitaray (Ennis) and planetgal471 (Jack)
Rating: NC-17 on/off through the fic
Disclaimer: Brokeback Mountain is the creation of Annie Proulx, and no profit is being made off of the sharing of this work. We do this for enjoyment only.
Summary: Ennis is a high-school drop-out giving it a final go. Jack is an enigmatic history teacher. This is a modern-day AU!AU. In this story, POVs are intermingled.
Warnings: The story within contains adult themes, including but not limited to: explicit m/m sex, teacher/student relationships involving the high school level, cursing, and descriptions of violence, including sexual violence. This has been written for fun, but we understand that not everyone may enjoy it.
Authors' Notes: Feedback is so appreciated. All editing and beta-work done by planetgal471 (please notify me of mistakes, I'll fix them!)

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This Land is Your Land: Chapter Thirty-Eight

Jack sighed and rolled his chair away from his desk. He stretched his neck and got a couple satisfying pops in response before crossing the room. He stopped before opening the door to glance at the wall clock. Really, the proposal was going well, but Jack didn't get many full, uninterrupted days in the office and he'd rather just get it done with.

Jack swung the door open, groaning "Yeah?" through an unexpected yawn before his eyes focused in front of him.

It was unfortunate that Ennis's first glimpse of Jack was that pink curling tongue as Jack yawned, running a hand through his hair. Ennis stood, unable to think of a thing to say. "Uh--" Ennis sucked in a breath, continuing to stare at Jack. "I--uh." Ennis shook his head, frustrated at himself. "K.E. told me where you'd moved, yesterday. I just couldn't...I had to see--" Ennis broke off, then made another attempt. "Look. Can I just talk to you for a minute? I got something to say."

Jack froze, his eyes widening as Ennis's words slowly sank in. He saw past Ennis's shoulder that Karen was watching the exchange with interest, and that was really what broke him from his catatonic state. "Yeah, come in here..." Jack stepped to the side, allowing entrance into the room. His eyes focused on nothingness as his brain cranked away, rewriting months upon months of history. Just yesterday? K.E. had told him just yesterday? Ennis hadn't left Jack on purpose all this time, he'd come just as soon as he'd known where to set his tires... Jack felt his heart start pounding hard in his chest as he shut the door.

"You, uh, you look... you got taller," Jack forced a smile through his confusion, noticing Ennis had put on a full inch, widening their height difference. He's also filled out in the shoulders, looked... looked damn sexy, was how he looked.

Ennis walked into the office, feeling out of place and awkward. Jack's body language was cautious, and Ennis couldn't blame him for it, after he'd just turned up out of the blue like this.

"I guess I've grown a bit," Ennis mumbled abstractedly, unsure what Jack's comment meant. Shuffling, Ennis's eyes took in the span of Jack's office, paperwork piled haphazardly across the desk. There was so much of Jack's life now about which he knew nothing. It was hard to put what he felt into words at the best of times, and right now Ennis felt tongue-tied and awkward. But he had to give it a try.

"I broke it off with Alma," he began, unsure of how to start. "I just couldn't--not after I saw you at the graduation."

Jack remembered that, the eye lock, with a flush of un-nameable emotion. He looked down at his shoes on the flat, gray carpet. "Yeah?" he asked, tentative. "I'm sorry-- she musta been pretty upset," he choked out.

Ennis grimaced, remembering Alma's horrified reaction. He'd done wrong by her, no doubt about it, but there had been no way to make it right or easier in the end. And she'd had no call making those comments about Jack, no matter how bad she had felt.

"I didn't handle it too well," Ennis admitted, then decided to elaborate. "I know I should have done it long before. K.E. told me, you told me, guess I had my head in the sand. Didn't want to admit that what I felt-- what we had was, well. Real." Ennis worried a hangnail nervously, wishing he was anywhere with Jack but in the confines of the sterile office, but he owed Jack this, even if Jack didn't want to speak to him again, after. And how crazy did he look, driving nine hours to Jack's work?

Speaking of which, it looked like Jack was pretty busy. And he had a job to do, too, for which he was being paid. It wasn't like being on the ranch, where they could work together and toss out comments in passing. Ennis made a helpless gesture towards Jack's desk. "Guess you need to get back to work. I'm-- uh, sorry for intruding."

Jack digested Ennis's words slowly and precariously, until Ennis's feet made hesitant movements towards the door. Suddenly, months of anguish stored and buried and long assumed dead came bubbling to the surface, erupting as a different emotion, and Jack found himself pushing Ennis against the wall, clinging to Ennis's coat. Their groins met first, then lips, Jack crying his despair into lust, moaning his lust into its object. His hands clenched Ennis with ferocity, but even that grip did not compare in brute strength to the clamoring, claiming of two mouths hungry for each other.

Of all Jack's possible reactions, this was the one Ennis was most unprepared for. In his dreams, yes, but those silent hopes had long lain unacknowledged, disregarded as impossible once Ennis awoke. Ennis had started to retrace steps, despair battling with lost hope, when Jack had acted.

Ennis's first split-second reaction was that Jack was angry, the sucker punch long owed, those cutting words said and unsaid looming up large, too hurtful, too much pain to fix between them, ever. Ennis braced himself for the blow, prepared and expected. Then Jack's body was up against his, pushing bluntly into Ennis's body space, the hot-burn of Jack up against his body like a flame, Jack's hands grasping him, and goddamn, he smelt the same, felt the same, and Ennis couldn't fight this thing anymore, and didn't want to, too strong, too right, and he wasn't going to give it up, never.

The stinging of tears in his eyes meant nothing, only the office blurring into one aspect around which his life revolved, Jack. And Jack's mouth, as he kissed it hotly; Ennis had missed those kisses like losing a part of him, needing them. Gasping into Jack's mouth, Ennis heard himself moan. It would have embarrassed him if anyone else had heard it. Pulling back slightly, it was impossible not to miss Jack's response to the kiss: the dilated eyes, the flushed cheeks. Ennis moved his shaking hand to Jack's mouth, traced the outline of those lips, shaking his head slightly. "When I heard you'd gone-- never should have let you go. Never should have let you leave my sight."

Jack fished for breath out of the thin Colorado air. "Not too late. I'm here now. I mean..." Jack tilted his head, realizing he couldn't say the words again, not to be turned down again.

"Yeah, you're here--" Ennis managed, before he realized just where the hell 'here' was. Reluctantly, Ennis leaned the press of his body back, the cool swirl of air as he moved away from Jack excruciating. He hastily reached a hand down to the front of his jeans, adjusting his painful erection. Damn. "Uh...I guess you got to finish work, but can I see you after? I can just sleep in the pick-up." Ennis ran a hand through his hair, wincing as he felt the dirt in it from the previous day's work on the land. He was suddenly very exhausted. "That is--" Ennis's heart refused to speak the words, but his mind told him that he had better get it all out in the open, this time. "Unless you've got plans. I mean-- I just turned up here, and, well..." Ennis shook his head, out of words. Jack had just kissed him like he'd meant it, like the whole last three months hadn't happened. But Ennis had seen the hurt and anger in Jack's eyes, seen him walk away at the graduation. Surely-- surely they could make this right, find some level ground to walk upon together.

Jack was slow to follow Ennis's meaning, watching Ennis's eyes, watching Ennis's mouth move, coming belatedly to some sort of realization about what Ennis'd said. Grinning like a kid, he answered, "Yeah. No. I mean, don't do that-- sleepin' in your car." Jack leaned back in one movement towards his desk and snapped up the keys that lay here, working to take one off the plain ring. "This... this is to my apartment. It's real easy to get to, just hop on the highway down here, take exit 219A, and then your first right." The key snapped loose. "5A. Just in case you want a bed and a shower. Or a couch. Or whatever."

Jack offered the key across to Ennis as one would offer a mint to a skittish horse: palm flat, not knowing whether Ennis would trust it, would accept it or not.

Reaching out, Ennis kept his eyes upon the key, flat and winking silver in Jack's outstretched hand. Plucking it easily, he let his eyes lift to Jack's face. Jack's smile had faded and he was gazing intently at Ennis, obviously having serious thoughts. Ennis thought he could understand what they were. A wave of trepidation had already risen at the thought of Jack's apartment. Jack knew he was paranoid, and for good reason most of the time. Ennis had already wondered straight away just where this apartment was, if it would look suspicious entering, what people would say. The shame of knowing that they thought him and Jack-- well. The judgment. What would happen if...if...

Pushing these thoughts away, Ennis forced himself to think of the hot shower and the fact that he was in Denver, which Jack was clearly happy about. That made him feel warm all over. Because any other alternative was just too much to contemplate. The very worst thing would be to not find the apartment, not to be able to see Jack's face as he walked through that door. And there was nothing that anyone could hold over Jack's head anymore. Jack wasn't his teacher. It was just Jack and Ennis. And they'd work it out somehow. Between the two of them.

Lifting his hand holding the key, Ennis chose his fate, holding up the key as if to show it to Jack. Ennis felt his heart fill as Jack simply stood there, half-shutting his eyes. The empty void that had existed for the last few weeks had slammed shut the moment he'd walked in the door. Ennis hadn't even hardly spoken to Jack and yet he was sated, just by the sight of him-- content.

"Sounds easy enough to find," Ennis said quietly. "And I sure need a shower." And you. Just you. Blushing slightly, Ennis remembered the last shower he'd had with Jack, and forced himself to continue. "I'll be there, k? We gonna talk."

Jack nodded, feeling a hum like the distant past, imaging already his own apartment lamplight like that motel paradise they'd found one time.

The door swung open with a bang, crashing Jack's hypnotic trance to pieces with an adrenaline surge. "Jack, Dan was wondering if you have--"

Jack turned to watch a slack-jawed Brie as she stopped mid sentence, blushing a bit. "Oh, sorry. I didn't realize you had company."

"'S alright," Jack breathed, hoping it was, hoping it would be. "Brie, this is my friend Ennis. Ennis, Brie. She's a co-worker of mine." Jack tried to smile, but worry rose in his stomach. He stepped towards Ennis instinctively, their sides touching just a little bit. He needed to assure himself that Ennis was still there, wasn't afraid, would be alright, assure Ennis of something, whatever he needed. It just felt right.

"I--uh," Ennis stumbled. He could feel Jack's heat alongside his body, both unnerving and focusing him, strangely enough. Heart racing from their brief peace so rudely shattered, Ennis realized too late he was reaching up to a hat which he wasn't wearing, not being on the ranch. He awkwardly ran a hand through his hair instead, nodding to Jack's co-worker. "Mornin' Ma'am."

Brie's light blush grew deep and ruddy. "Morning," She squeaked, but she stumbled backwards out of the door again, closing it too hard behind her.

Ennis looked baffled, turning to Jack for guidance. "Did I say something wrong?"

Jack chuckled. "Right, maybe. You may not spend all your time gazing in mirrors, Ennis," Jack answered as he slowly went back to his desk, glowing eyes glued on Ennis even as he started writing the directions on a piece of paper just in case, "but you are one hot man. You go throwing around that cowboy stuff, and even sensible ladies get a little, well..." Jack pointed to the door with his pen. "You saw. This isn't Riverton, either. We don't have near enough genuine cowboys here." Jack's face suddenly went taught, harbingers of worry shading his eyes. "You aren't... I mean, you don't..." In the shadow of the kiss, Jack thought he shouldn't feel so insecure, but a kiss was no certainty when it came to Ennis-- nothing was. He could not believe what he was going to say next, but it seemed the most genuine thing he could say, the last sliver of his long-endured hopelessness asserting itself, protecting his heart. "What I'm trying to say is," Jack looked at the floor, didn't want to ask this looking at Ennis, "I could probably get you a date with her if you wanted me to."

Ennis felt his mouth falling open and hastily tried to shut it, glancing back towards the closed door that Brie had just departed. A date? He couldn't remember what the girl looked like, though that wasn't even the point.

Jack thought he was showing interest in the girl? Jack wanted Ennis to play the field, like he himself was doing? Jack was pointedly averting his eyes from Ennis, a muscle working in his cheek. Always slow on the uptake, it took Ennis a second or two to work out just why the hell Jack had said that. Or maybe...maybe Jack thought Ennis wanted to take the easy way out, the way it had been with Alma.

"Jack." Ennis meant to say something serious but he couldn't prevent the snort of laughter he emitted. Jack looked up straight away at that. Good, Ennis thought with a tinge of satisfaction. "You can get me a date with anyone you like, but I ain't gonna go on it. And why the hell? I ain't out in Denver to try my hand at dating different gals, y'know. Saying I'm good looking? Hell," Ennis paused, embarrassed now at the thought, "I'm just ordinary. You, on the other hand, well." Ennis tried to think on all the ways he could describe what he saw when he looked at Jack, and failed miserably at any attempt to define that beauty. Best to stop while he was ahead.

Jack smiled, his eyes distinctively clouded with wetness. "Get on out of here or I'm gonna miss my afternoon meeting," Jack laughed.

Ennis pretended to tip an imaginary hat to Jack, giving his man a half-shy, half-mischievous smile, deliberately making his accent stronger. "Sure thing, sir. I'll be seein' you later on, I guess." Ennis stuck his thumbs into his pockets, jutting out his hips in imitation of a real cowboy. It wasn't intentional, but seeing the resulting flash and unhidden desire in Jack's eyes, Ennis figured he'd better be getting out of the office, or events would be set into motion that he'd have no control over.