This Land is Your Land - Chapter Thirty-Seven
Title: This Land is Your Land - Chapter Thirty-Seven
Authors: ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif)
lolitaray (Ennis) and planetgal471 (Jack)
Rating: NC-17 on/off through the fic
Disclaimer: Brokeback Mountain is the creation of Annie Proulx, and no profit is being made off of the sharing of this work. We do this for enjoyment only.
Summary: Ennis is a high-school drop-out giving it a final go. Jack is an enigmatic history teacher. This is a modern-day AU!AU. In this story, POVs are intermingled.
Warnings: The story within contains adult themes, including but not limited to: explicit m/m sex, teacher/student relationships involving the high school level, cursing, and descriptions of violence, including sexual violence. This has been written for fun, but we understand that not everyone may enjoy it.
Authors' Notes: Feedback is so appreciated. All editing and beta-work done by planetgal471 (please notify me of mistakes, I'll fix them!)
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This Land is Your Land: Chapter Thirty-Seven
North of Cheyenne, Jack pulled over at a crappy gas depot and bought old, stale coffee and a pack of smokes. It was raining now, but he didn't even care, didn't dodge the raindrops as he stepped into puddles. The cold soaked through him. He wasted no time getting back on the road.
Jack's gaze flitted between the road and the cigarettes. He'd smoked a couple packs in college, only when he was good and drunk, but not since. This was Ennis's brand, though, and Jack unwrapped them and lit one, opening the window to the rain to let his lovesick ashes drop into the muddy Wyoming roadside. He smoked cig after cig with his left hand while he kept his right hand trained firmly on the wheel, eyes glued unblinking at the dark, wet road ahead. Each tasted like Ennis, and when each ended he wanted another. He coughed and felt sick, but the sickness only made physical a feeling that was already in him, so he bore it, letting them keep him awake as night became deeper.
Finally, he had only two cigarettes left. He tossed them aside, saving them. He wanted his apartment to bear the smell of Ennis for just a little while, anyway.
* * * *
Ennis sank as far back into the truck's seat as possible, the window down. K.E. shuddered with the cold at intervals throughout the drive home, but made no attempt to make Ennis wind it back up.
The wild rain was oddly invigorating, mingling with the tears streaking Ennis's face. At one stage, K.E. reached out to pat Ennis's leg, but Ennis pushed it away almost roughly. It reminded him too much of Jack.
The night was broken into fragments as Ennis tossed and turned, reliving the day. He cringed inwardly, imagining the town's talk on the break-up and the reasons that would be speculated. It was his own fault. In his heart, Ennis knew he should have made the split months before, when K.E. had first told him too. And now he was paying the price, alright.
* * * *
The next six weeks passed in a sort of blur as Ennis tried to get used to no expectations, save the hard work K.E. threw at him early each morning.
It was nice to enjoy the solitude, no exams, no study, nothing but the animals as company. The usual hectic pace of summer's rich life force was no different from any other year, after all. Days passed and Ennis spent his time clearing out irrigation ditches, herding cattle, delivering late calves, dragging meadows and fencing critical areas to keep in stock. Ennis complained when K.E. hired a hand part-time, but secretly enjoyed being the boss of Charlie, a young man almost as silent as Ennis.
It wasn't the same as working with Jack though, where the work was done before Ennis knew it, but the extra help was always needed and the ranch was looking fine. Yet the aching void in Ennis's heart continued. Sometimes, he'd forget and look up, catch a glance of Charlie bent over his spade, sight the brim of his tan hat, never black. Ennis would find himself turning, bent double at the pain, wondering when it would pass, go away and let him live a peaceful life.
Despite numerous fights, Ennis refused point blank to go into the town since the break up with Alma. K.E. had argued till he was blue in the face, to no avail. Ennis could be as stubborn as his brother when it came down to it, so, with many a sigh and pointed look, K.E. continued to make the weekly trip for groceries, and his nights with friends at the local bar. He'd taken to dating sporadically a pretty girl called Mary, taking her to the rodeo each week, not serious enough to bring her back to the ranch as yet. His scattered comments about Ennis not living a normal life had no effect at all.
Life went on. One day Ennis realized with a kind of stunned disbelief that it had been over a year since he'd first met Jack. Seemed his whole life had been shadowed up until that moment. Ennis was more morose than usual that Saturday morning, unable to eat anything. He nursed a black coffee until K.E. finally snapped back.
"Asked you five times now if we were going to dig that trench, Ennis, and I'm still waiting for an answer."
Ennis looked up unseeingly. "Sure."
K.E. rolled his eyes. "It's like living with a dead man, sure enough." Standing, he gathered his gear together, stomping out without waiting on Ennis to follow.
A couple of hours later, Ennis felt some semblance of peace. The summer was winding down into autumn. The sunlight seemed warmer and the smells in the air denser and richer this time of year. Ennis was distracted by thoughts of the work that came with the change of seasons. There had been no need to talk to K.E., who whistled in satisfaction, and Ennis couldn't help but smile at a job well done.
The following Sunday afternoon, both of them mounted their horses to ride fence. Ennis lost himself in the inspection and mending of the fence line, the rhythm of Cigar Butt's easy stride, happier than he had felt in months. That is, until, after a time, he happened to glance up and see where he was. Their tree. His and Jack's. Memories of a different time crowded in against his will, a time before K.E. had found out about himself and Jack, before the madness had started, when it had just been himself and his lover, on the ranch, no other care in the world. Ennis remembered the lazy exploration of Jack's body, how Jack had returned the favor without fail. The easy lilt and flow of their conversation, every word spoken by Ennis accepted and valued by his lover.
"You just got stung?"
Ennis shook his head, too jolted to speak. K.E. frowned, spurring on Coffee, and Ennis booted his heels into Cigar Butt's side to keep up.
They continued in silence for another half hour before K.E. cleared his throat and spoke.
"Parker."
Ennis jumped, having ridden along in a semi-stupor of past dreams without a word being spoken between them. "Huh?"
K.E. grimaced. "Your teach-- uh, Twist. Working in the state forestry or something. Town named Parker. Near Denver."
Ennis tilted his head up, squinting in the bright sun at his brother, aware his mouth was hanging open. "J-Jack? In Denver?" he stuttered.
Flushing, K.E. clicked to Coffee. "That's all I know. I swear it on my life. Do with it what you will, Ennis. You're a grown man."
* * * *
Ennis spent dinner in silence, processing the information. K.E. watched him, making no effort to help, sliding glance after glance in between mouthfuls of soup. It was almost too much to take in. Now that Ennis had the knowledge, he didn't know what he would do with it. He'd never even traveled out of Riverton, save that trip to the Tetons.
K.E. stretched, watching his brother. "Want to watch a show?"
Ennis jerked his head in a shrug, absently. "If you like."
K.E. went to stand, then paused. "I got a map, if you need it."
Flicking a suspicious glance at his brother, Ennis didn't speak.
"I guess you'll have to take my truck."
"Why in hell would you lend me your truck?"
"Christ, Ennis, why do you think? Ain't you planning on driving to Denver tonight?"
Ennis worried his lip. "Don't know. Never done much travel before."
Rolling his eyes, K.E. stood up. "Well, best time to start. Twist said they were more liberal that way. But for Christ's sake, be careful, is all I ask."
Leaning back, Ennis moved his thumb over the table, taking in the worn furniture of the room, the signs of obvious poverty. "Why are you doing this, K.E.? How will you get on without me?"
K.E. snorted. "You'll be back, won't you? I've been thinking 'bout that remark you made, months back. About bringing Ma and Dad back to life. Some things you just can't change, Ennis. And," K.E. shrugged, looking out of the window, "I guess some things you can."
Ennis stood and moved over to K.E., awkwardly giving him some semblance of a hug. K.E. returned it just as awkwardly, clapping a hand on Ennis's shoulder. "Mary and I-- well, she's a special one, Ennis. Wouldn't like to lose her. I can't take care a you forever."
Drawing back, Ennis felt his brows lower in indignation. "You don't take care of me!"
K.E. waved a hand. "Sure. Drive carefully, y'hear?"
"I don't think I can do it, K.E. What if-- what if he doesn't--" Ennis broke off, his heart starting to beat furiously.
K.E. snorted. "God, Ennis, now that's the last thing you got a worry about!"
* * * *
Jack glanced down at his watch and up again as Josh Kelly led the group of elementary-aged kids and their just-as-wide-eyed parents on a journey through Ute Indian history with the tale of Cin-an-ev the trickster-wolf. The program was almost over. Jack turned and went back to the park office, letting himself in with a master key to review his own schedule and sign Josh's forms.
Rick popped in just then. "Hey Jack, are you going to be out at Boyd tomorrow for the 5k?"
Jack sighed and shook his head, distracted.
"Come on, I know it's boring, but I also know Jon's going to be there." Rick's eyebrow went up.
Jack stared at him for a moment before shaking his head. "I told you, I'm not interested."
"You're too young to give up on a social life."
"Doesn't matter anyway. We have a proposal due next week and a meeting tomorrow. No way I can come."
"Alright," Rick acquiesced. "But you're still invited to the dinner Karen and I are hosting, even if you come alone," Rick joked.
Jack forced a smile and packed up the last of the papers. "Yup. See you around."
"See ya!"
Jack climbed into his car and drove back to the main office to finish up his paperwork before driving home to his empty apartment.
* * * *
It had been well after midnight when Ennis finally left. He was full of trepidation, not knowing what to expect, not knowing what to find. After all, it had been months. Probably Jack, thinking Ennis was married, was with someone else. After the terms they had ended with, Ennis wasn't sure just what to think.
Or what to do.
He still had no idea what he was even planning, driving through the pitch black, window cranked down to keep him awake, squinting at the road.
Dawn eventually started to lighten the sky, its dusky pink and apricot fingers trailing over the dirty upholstery of the truck, tracing Ennis's haggard, unshaven face. And still he kept on driving.
Finally, Ennis made a turn off, seeing the signpost announcing the town of Denver. Parker was easy to find but State Forestry? Was that like the State Parks? Ennis had no idea, but figured he could find some main office. It was nearly 10 am now, and surely Jack would be at work. That seemed safer somehow.
Ennis stopped at a roadside gas station, almost dead on his feet, fatigue lining his eyes, gulping down a cup of black coffee. It had been over 20 hours since he had slept or eaten, and the caffeine leapt into his system like a strong drug.
The cashier gave him directions to the state park office easily enough, calling them over his shoulder as he restocked cigarettes. Ennis's stomach churned, his heart raced, and his hands were so sweaty they slipped on the pick-up's wheel.
* * * *
The next day, Jack rose as if it were any other day. The sunrise was red and pink: sailors should take warning, but state park public program co-coordinators were probably sufficiently land-locked and would be alright, Jack decided.
He arrived at the office and dropped a few hellos to the people who deserved them. It was a good place to work, and he was enjoying it. The people were nice, and no one had given him a hassle about being gay. Some of the older, stodgier men gave him uncomfortable silence, but that was better than he got from his own father, so it didn't bother him at all. No one meant him ill, anyway.
He went into his office and frantically started in on his paragraphs of the grant proposal so he would have something to show at the meeting this afternoon. He found his words easily and the process was flowing smoothly, Jack hitting his stride.
* * * *
Ennis waited outside the small wooden building for half an hour, alternating between drumming his fingers on the pick-up's wheel and glancing out the window nervously, inspecting the tall pines surrounding the building.
They didn't make him feel any better, however. The silent trees reminded him of the Tetons, and of course, the last argument, Jack's final words.
Finally, when a confident-looking young woman made her way down the stairs, stopping to give Ennis an unsure glance, he thought he'd better act. After nearly 12 hours on the road and full night of driving with no food in his stomach he could only begin to imagine how he looked.
Feeling utterly wrenched with fear, Ennis made his way up the stairs and pushed through the door, a bell tinkling merrily.
"Can I help you?"
Hiding his shaking hands behind his back, Ennis made an effort not to look around the room, locking eyes instead with the competent-looking receptionist.
"Uh...Mr.Twist?"
"You'd like to see Jack? Just through that door there."
Unable to believe that this could be so simple, Ennis gave a grimace of intended thanks, making his way to stand in front of the door the receptionist had indicated. After a pause, he knocked hesitantly.
mellow
