Current location:	St. Paul, MN
Current mood:	hungry
Current music:	Snow Patrol - Somewhere a Clock is Ticking
Entry tags:	this land is your land

This Land is Your Land - Chapter Thirty-Six
Title: This Land is Your Land - Chapter Thirty-Six
Authors: lolitaray (Ennis) and rhye (Jack)
Rating: NC-17 on/off through the fic
Disclaimer: Brokeback Mountain is the creation of Annie Proulx, and no profit is being made off of the sharing of this work. We do this for enjoyment only.
Summary: Ennis is a high-school drop-out giving it a final go. Jack is an enigmatic history teacher. This is a modern-day AU!AU. In this story, POVs are intermingled.
Warnings: The story within contains adult themes, including but not limited to: explicit m/m sex, teacher/student relationships involving the high school level, cursing, and descriptions of violence, including sexual violence. This has been written for fun, but we understand that not everyone may enjoy it.
Authors' Notes: Feedback is so appreciated. All editing and beta-work done by rhye (please notify me of mistakes, I'll fix them!)

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This Land is Your Land: Chapter Thirty-Six

They took their same seats in silence just as the students were starting to process in. Jack wondered if this was a good idea really, coming here, or would it be salt in a wound? He knew now Ennis was graduating, and that Ennis was interested in college, so there wasn't a reason to stay. Yet he couldn't make himself leave, either. He was nearly too afraid to skim the students as they filed in, boys in red gowns, girls in white, all with matching caps, red and white tassels hanging in their eyes. Ennis came in and Jack's stomach did a leap, his breath caught, his penis throbbed, and all of it against his will.

The students sat and Jack stared unfalteringly at Ennis through the entirety of all the speeches, not hearing a single word. Ennis did look grim. His mouth was set in a hard line and his eyes stayed trained on the floor.

Jack remembered then the other times: Ennis teasing him in the barn, stealing his hat, receiving his first blow job. Ennis bottoming for the first time at the motel that should have seemed like a crap place but stood out in Jack's mind like the highest level of heaven. Ennis in the Tetons, bison grass moon and mountains, and falling asleep after sex in the carpet of wildflowers, blanketed by wind. How had they ended up here, this distance and silence and disagreement between them? Jack felt heavily that it was all his fault for pushing just too hard.

Ennis stared at the dull scratches and marks in the floor, barely taking in a word. He couldn't be bothered to look at the crowd throughout the eternity of speeches. The last thing he wanted to see was Alma's proudly smiling face, not when he felt like such a failure, inside.

Students were starting to stand and walk to receive their diplomas and, although Ennis was listening intently for the sound of his name being called, it still gave him a shock. Standing and moving to the center stage, Ennis tried to sum up some kind of emotion like pride. He'd worked so, so hard for this. But all that he could think of was the thing that'd been tormenting him day and night: Jack.

Ennis gave an obligatory glance around the gym as he walked, taking in the applauding crowd. He picked out K.E., applauding proudly and behind him-- Ennis's heart gave the most enormous jolt. He thought for a brief second that he was going mad, that his brain had actually made Jack appear, a mirage, some make-believe figure.

But that was surely Jack, staring at Ennis, not clapping, unmoving. Ennis realized all at once that his name was being called again, and trying to snap out of his daze, hurriedly moved forward to receive his diploma, his heart thudding almost out of his chest, palms sweaty. Jack? Jack was here? Ennis returned to his chair, gaze returning, haunted, to Jack's, trembling from head to foot

Jack didn't think he took his eyes off of Ennis's for the rest of the ceremony. Ennis didn't flinch away and neither did Jack. Jack thought of waiting around after all, especially when he saw Ennis's lips almost twitch up in a smile, but he remembered telling K.E. how that wasn't his plan, so as soon as the students filed out, he called some polite goodbye to K.E. and hauled ass out the side door and to his car before he changed his mind.

Once there, he got on the road quickly. One glance to the west where a band of black sky obscured the golden sunset told Jack that a mighty big storm was coming. He doubted he could race it all the way to Denver, but he'd get as far as he could before all hell broke loose.

* * * *

Ennis fidgeted non-stop, agitated beyond belief, needing the ceremony to have been over half an hour ago. The minute everyone stood, he was pushing his way through the crowd desperately, shoving up against nonchalant families chatting as though they hadn't a care in the world, his one aim in forging ahead towards the direction of Jack's seat.

"Ennis, we're over here!"

Ennis caught a glimpse of Alma but paid her no mind, continuing with a reckless fervor. The seats were empty when he reached them and, without giving pause, Ennis made his way to the open door and out into cool air.

"Ennis."

Ennis started violently as K.E.'s strong hand wrapped around his shoulder. He shook his head, trying to pull away.

"K.E., I can't right now, I got to--"

Backing skillfully away from the crush of bodies, K.E. pushed Ennis back against the weathered brick wall of the building. Taking in Ennis's wild gaze, K.E. nodded in comprehension, one hand reaching up to brush the sweaty curls of the side of his younger brother's face. "He's gone, Ennis. Just leave it, alright? It's not the time."

"The hell?" Ennis paid K.E. no regard at all, continuing to scan the school yard, frantic for a glimpse of Jack's dark hair and blue eyes. His whole body ached for one glimpse of that tall figure, needing Jack with a desperation that was overpowering. "He can't have--"

"Said he only came to see you get the diploma, alright?" K.E. tightened the grip on Ennis's shoulder as he made another bid for freedom. "Christ's sake get a hold of yourself, Ennis. Look where we are!"

"You spoke to him?" Finally recognizing what K.E. was saying, Ennis squinted against the pain in his gut, looking up at his brother.

K.E. looked evasive, turning his head away from Ennis. "Only for a couple a minutes."

"Well, what the fuck did he say? Christ, K.E., you got to know I've been out of my mind for weeks, now."

"Nothing." K.E. wasn't meeting Ennis's eyes and Ennis realized as surely as when they were children that his brother was lying to him. "Just that...uh...he'd come to see you were alright."

"And?"

"That was it, Ennis! Uh..." K.E. turned back to Ennis. "He had some information about some scholarship that you can do if you wanted."

"So what's he doing? Where is he?" Ennis knew it was crazy to be asking these questions, but the burning deep inside demanded explanations.

"Didn't say."

"The hell he didn't!" Ennis pulled his arm free, found his hands gripping K.E.'s shirt, breath coming fast and agitated.

"Get the hell off me Ennis, you just got a snap out of this madness--"

Ennis swung up and out, the punch not directed at K.E. but his whole damn life in general, the blazing unfairness of his situation. It was aimed towards whomever had left Earl lying on the ground, sitting in the blood rivers of his emptied veins. At Aguirre's scornful glares slid across at Ennis every day throughout the last couple of months, silently mocking. At bitter, drunk ranchers, fearful of what they didn't understand. It was the pain that Ennis had felt, every second of every day since Jack had turned his back and left. Unbearable but Ennis had to bear it, day in, day out. Of his making.

As Ennis felt his fist connect with K.E.'s jaw, remorse came hot on the heels of the anger, but it was too late by then, as K.E. started coughing, spitting blood.

"Jesus, K.E." Ennis rested his hand helplessly on K.E.'s back as his brother bent double trying to catch his breath. "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry."

Turning, K.E. faced the building, removing his handkerchief and holding it to his face. His brother mumbled something and Ennis bent forward with trepidation, almost expecting a punch in return.

"What did you say?"

Incredulously, Ennis lent forward, unable to believe what he was hearing. His brother was laughing. Ennis stood, jaw dropped.

"Damn, but Daddy taught you well." K.E. straightened, gingerly running a finger around his inner right gum, wincing as it passed over the split in his lip. "At least you're talking to me now, huh?"

Casting his eyes down, Ennis felt ashamed. "I didn't mean it, you know."

"Course I know that, I'm your goddamned brother." K.E. took a deep, cautious inhalation. "You admit now you can't go on like this?"

Ennis set his jaw and nodded.

K.E. nodded in return, then glanced into the crowd. "Christ, here comes Alma with her family. Ennis, you promise me you'll do the right thing, here, won't you?"

Ennis shrugged, Jack's face still burning a flame in his mind. "You really don't know where he went?"

K.E. nodded. "I said that, didn't I? You got a look to you, sort your life out, now. Promise me that."

Ennis only just became aware of the black clouds looming overhead when he looked up and felt the first patter of drops on his skin. He didn't move as Alma made her way to him, Mr. Beers puffing close behind, Mrs. Beers tugging Meli along by the hand.

"You did it, Ennis." Alma's eyes were wondering. "I was so proud, so proud of you up there."

"Yeah, well..."

Mrs. Beers cut in, throwing out a greeting to K.E., who returned it awkwardly, shaking Alma's Daddy's hand.

"We were going to take you all out to a restaurant to celebrate, but Alma thought you'd like to go bowling. How about that, Ennis?"

"No way of getting home," Ennis said, grateful for the excuse.

"Just drop me off at the bar, and come get me after, Ennis," K.E. said pointedly. "That way you'll spend time with Alma alone."

Resigned, Ennis did just that, unable to resist throwing a longing look after K.E., who had covered his head with his coat against the deluge and was running into the safety of the bar.

In silence, he went to start up the truck. Alma moved over closer, putting a hand over his arm.

"You really want to go bowling, Ennis?"

Ennis shrugged. "Sure."

"I need to talk."

Ennis turned to Alma, feeling a stab of guilt. He'd hardly seen her in four weeks.

"Uh...what about?"

"I know you've been real busy with exams and all, Ennis."

To Ennis's dismay, Alma started crying. Patting her shoulder awkwardly, he tried to think of what to say. Was it possible that she'd found out about Jack? Ennis was still trying to decide what to do. If anything, he was more confused after seeing the man today. He needed a bit of time to think of what he was going to do, how he was going to act.

"Alma, I don't know what's wrong unless you tell me."

Alma took a deep breath and sat back, wiping her face with her hands. "Bill kissed me today."

"Wha?" It took a moment for Ennis to understand, particularly as Alma had burst into fresh tears.

"I didn't lead him on, Ennis, I swear. I've been so worried about you. I tried to resign from the diner... still can if you--"

"Just-- just leave it, okay?" Ennis held his head in his hands, unable to process what he was hearing. It was all mixed up, the stress of the graduation, the shock of seeing Jack, the strain of hitting K.E.

Ennis felt a surge of resentment, feeling that he had to try and soothe Alma down, comfort her, make everything all right. For all the trials he'd gone through with Jack, he'd never felt that burden. Tears stung his eyes and swiped them away angrily.

Feeling like he was about to meet his death sentence, he turned to Alma, shaking his head. "It's no good. Can't do this anymore."

Alma's jaw dropped. "Can't do what, Ennis?"

"Can't marry you." The moment the words were out of his mouth, Ennis felt better just for saying them, the stone on his heart lifting slightly. Drawing a deep breath, Ennis wound down the window, letting the cool wash of rain sweep over him. A cracked-spit of lighting sparked over the plains a couple miles away, and in return thunder churned from above.

"I know you're jealous but--"

"Nope. I ain't jealous." Ennis almost laughed at the suggestion. "This just isn't right, hasn't been for months now. And you know it, Alma."

Resentment flared in Alma's eyes. "It could be right if you'd just let it, Ennis. I could take real good care of you. I-- " Alma's voice choked off and she made another effort. "I love you so much."

Ennis bit his lip, but no going back. "I'm sorry." He awkwardly reached out to pat her shoulder but Alma scooted back against the edge of the truck, teeth baring in a snarl.

"You're sorry? You're sorry? What in hell is wrong with you, Ennis? Why're you doing this?"

Shrugging, Ennis chewed on a hangnail, unable to answer the question.

When Alma next spoke, her tone was low and bitter, filled with lost months without Ennis's attention. "It's because a him, isn't it?

Ennis jerked, his head snapping up, meeting Alma's eyes squarely. "What are you talking about? This is between us, Alma. You know it's not working. That's all I'm going to say about it."

"Huh. Should have listened to his friend that day she came into the diner." Alma shook her head in disgust. "That it, Ennis? You pining away over that filthy queer teacher?"

Ennis leaned menacingly closer, face right up against Alma's. "Just shut the fuck up. You'd best shut that mouth before you say another damn word in front of me about Jack."

Alma grimaced. "Jack, huh? And you expect me to believe Jack has nothing to do with this, still? What about the night that he came to my folks house and you gave him a lift home. Did you end up in his bed?" Alma stared at the fiery red flush that crept over Ennis's face and nodded to herself in confirmation. "Sure enough. Well, I'm going a be making a call in the morning to the authorities."

"The hell you are!"

"He's your teacher, ain't he? That isn't legal, for one. He's brainwashed you, made you queer... never like this before you met him--"

Reaching out, Ennis gripped Alma's wrist in a sharp burn, twisting so she cried out in pain. Thunder cracked so loudly that Ennis could hardly hear his yells over the electric currents.

"You do that, and you'll pay for it, hear me? And K.E. will help me out. He's gone now, left the school. You say one word and your family will be sorry you were born."

Alma cast a panicked look through the pouring rain in the direction of the bar. "Let me go! Now!"

Ennis released her with a look of disgust, reaching past and pulling at the door lever, releasing the catch. Shaking with sobs, Alma managed to push it open, not even looking at Ennis, bag under her arm as she ran into the safety of the bar.

Ennis sat in silence, sickness and regret washing over him, waiting for K.E.'s inevitable appearance.